People with large plugs in your ears, what the fuck are you thinking? Do you just decide one day that you are going to be a lifetime barista?

brentose · 2012-05-25T22:30:23.990402+00:00

From what I understand, your first point is that plugs are counter-cultural and that, by getting a plug, someone is affirming their membership in the counter-culture either consciously or subconsciously. My argument is that plugs are not so far out of the mainstream that they are inherently counter-cultural. Yes, you don't see heads of state with whistling holes in their ears, but you also don't see Hilary Clinton in a floral print sundress with a dolphin ankle tattoo. For something to be counter-cultural, it must be actively opposed to an identified mainstream. Yet our mainstream pop culture is saturated with people who make tamely unconventional aesthetic choices like getting tattoos, cutting their hair in "edgy" ways, or gauging their ears. Those people may not be white collar workers, but they hardly oppose wider social values. If anything, they reflect a mainstream desire for things that seem "cool" and "new." They actually are symbols of modern American culture's love affair with appearance. And in that way, I think my comparison to the woman who cuts her hair short stands.

Your second point seems to be that plugs limit traditional career advancement. While I think that may be true for conservative or client-forward industries (finance, law, etc.), there are many conventional white collar jobs where it increasingly really doesn't matter. I knew of at least three professors at my college with gauges and even more with tattoos. While my school may have been a little hippy-dippy in comparison to a state university in Alabama, it's very highly-regarded by the academic establishment and these folks were pulling 70K+ a year. The fact is, in academia, computing, and arts industries, plugs really don't matter all that much. Or, given that they reflect that mainstream consumerist need for novelty, they can even be an asset.

(For what it's worth, I don't have gauges, or any piercings for that matter. A sensible suit hangs in my closet and I spent the last year working, yes, in a service position but one that required a conservative appearance.)

brentose · 2012-05-25T21:44:14.938369+00:00

Do you really not comprehend the idea that people might get their ears gauged because they like the aesthetic and not because they resent those without body modifications? Saying that everyone who gets plugs is doing it to express their inherent difference from the rest of society is like saying a woman who crops her hair short is automatically shouting "fuck you, you long haired sheep!" There's no innate political/cultural meaning to an ear plug any more than there is to a short/fashion-forward hair cut.

Maybe something like a swastika face tattoo would be intended to send the message you're talking about. But what's essentially an ear piercing? Hardly.

TeoTorriatte · 2012-05-25T20:35:22.188473+00:00

You look great! LOVE the hoop earrings + shaved head look.

This is relevant to my interests, since I'm actually planning on shaving my head in the next couple of weeks myself. Part of the reason is practical, since I'll be on a camping trip and my hair gets gross real fast without a daily shower. But I also really, really love the idea of feeling the summer wind on my bald noggin! Did you use special clippers, or did you just Bic razor it?

yourfavweapon11 · 2012-05-25T08:58:09.975176+00:00

Agreed. I don't know if the OP is aware, but the word "tranny" is taken by many in the LGBT community to be insulting, especially when it comes from the mouth of a straight or cis person. It's on the level of calling someone a "fag," "dyke," or a racial slur.

I know that most folks outside the queer community aren't aware that "tranny" is so offensive, but since you frequent Boystown, OP, you might want to be mindful that your trans neighbors might be upset and angry to hear someone refer to them like that.

DGN1nja · 4 days

To be fair, the police are public servants with extensive training, and are obligated to respond appropriately seeing as, well, it's their job to do so. Conversely, any old rando can show up to the march. Whereas the police DO have organizational control over other police, protestors by and large do not have the same kind of control over other protesters. Given that, it's heartening to see that the vast majority of marchers were peaceful today-- there were only 45 arrests all night.

avianaltercations · 5 days

Precisely. The protests aren't necessarily about NATO itself-- they're taking advantage of a huge amount of media coverage and the potential to get an audience with national and internatonal leaders.

I took a gander around the rally at Grant Park this afternoon. Most folks were simply representing fairly mainstream progressive causes-- universal healthcare, opposition to continued involvement in Afghanistan, gay rights, etc. Many were Occupiers. And a few were anarchists, punks, and the like. It was a real grab bag. The summit is just an opportunity to try and wrangle a bit of media attention for whatever your raison d'etre is.

WtfWhereAreMyClothes · 6 days

If you do not have enough money to leave a 20% tip on your bill, you do not have enough money to eat at the restaurant. Period.

BookerT · 7 days

I work at a hotel on East Wacker. I'll be working the 3 to 11:30PM shift each day of NATO. They're trying to pretend it'll be business as normal, even though we have several diplomats and politicians staying with us.

Tarret · 16 days

Amen. I work as a front desk person at a hotel after graduating, magna cum laude, in the top 10% of my class at a top 10 US college. It's actually an okay job from a financial standpoint, given that my 35K a year is more than I might expect if I'd actually gotten a job in my field. But it's hard to have literally hundreds of people a day assume that you're a fool.

Once, some middle-aged, middle-management type erupted at me because we couldn't accommodate his special request for a 30-floor+ king bedded classic room at 11pm on a sold out night. This grown man threw a tantrum, turned bright red, and started waving his confirmation letter inches in front of my face screeching "CAN YOU EVEN READ?"

It's been surreal, humbling, and horrifying to realize that being at the top of your class throughout your education is worth almost nothing. It's not that I ever anticipated I'd be making 100K straight out of undergrad. Really, I thought I might be working for a non-profit, maybe just making enough to cover rent and food, but at least gaining experience in my field-- that's how low my expectations were! But when even folks with doctorates are taking criminally exploitative uncompensated or poorly compensated internships (in my opinion, at least), someone with a bachelor's degree stands no chance.

The choice for someone privileged like me is to go back to school and incur debt that one can't reasonably expect to recoup, to intern to the tune of 0 - 15K a year, or to work in service and make an acceptable living while (arguably) wasting your specialized skills/knowledge. And this man had the incandescent gall to ask me if I can read?

throwsitallaways · 19 days

I'm basically in exactly your boyfriend's position. In the three-ish weeks between when my girlfriend and I started to hook up and The DTR Conversation, she made out with someone else. I found out about this accidentally well over a year into dating.

Now, I'm not mad at her and I don't think I'd have a right to be. One shouldn't presume exclusivity because that's a status that needs to be mutually agreed upon. But I'll admit to being a little hurt. It's not because she cheated on me, it's just that I just had to revise my narrative of our relationship. Everyone has this mental story about their relationships-- there are memories that we cherish as the moments when both ourselves and our significant others realized we wanted to be together. So it stings a little to suddenly apprehend that one's story is not entirely true. It was a bitter feeling to understanding that my girlfriend wasn't as into me at one point in time as I thought she was. That doesn't mean that she did anything wrong, it's just not a pleasant sensation.

Personally, I wish I didn't know. It makes me much less excited about our "anniversary," which we reckon as the first night we hooked up. I would have preferred my romantic story that we both were sure we wanted to be in a relationship after that night together, even if we didn't drum up the courage to make it official until a few weeks later. Yet we're not going to break up over the truth. I have utter faith that she loves me and is faithful to me, and I would be insane to hold something like a little make out sesh against her after almost 2 years of dating.

The point of this personal anecdote: I wouldn't dismiss your boyfriend's being disheartened, because it's hard to give up a story you're so personally invested in. In addition, his reacting poorly to your different anniversary dates doesn't mean he'd accuse you of cheating if he knew what happened. Yet while you owe him sympathy and gentleness, you shouldn't feel as if you did anything wrong.

That's my take.

eaglemike · 20 days

Seconded. It's totally right for you to be pissed at your ex, OP, but the way you keep calling these other girls "fucking sluts" is messed up. The fundamental problem with a cheater isn't her promiscuity-- it's her deceitfulness. Her friends are just having fun and hooking up, which isn't unethical if you're single or in an open relationship.

eliblack · 1 month

...are you me? You must at least live near me.

But for real. The Green Mill is awesome and atmospheric. While the drinks are expensive, they are boozy and classic. It's important to note that it's a place where you will be publicly shamed by the bartender if you talk loudly during the set, but since the music is always top notch that's totally warranted. Cash and AMEX only.

The Closet is fun if Sammi the Bartender is playing her ukelele and if you are willing to tolerate the antics of gay men who are trying to make that hook up with the hot piece from Roscoe's happen and middle-aged butches falling into you off stools after one too many Miller Lites (TRUE FACTZ). Cash only, but there's an ATM.

T's is good fun too. It's on Clark, walkable from the Green Mill.

noworryhatebombstill · 1 month

The fish sauce is the cheapo "Aunt Chen's Vietnamese Kitchen" brand. It's probably better to invest in a nicer one if you can find it.

noworryhatebombstill · 1 month

Thank you!

noworryhatebombstill · 1 month

Haha, I looked at the photos when I uploaded them and was like, damn, someone's gonna call me out. What can I say?-- I LOVE my Global knives (wish the Creuset pot was mine, but it's my lovely roommate's)!

killermorris · 1 month

The thing is, various studies have shown that bisexual women are just as or even more likely to be depressed than lesbians (source), but don't show that same elevated risk of obesity.

Gay men are less likely to be overweight than straight men, yet are more likely to express dissatisfaction with their bodies. Straight and bisexual women are also found to have more issues with body image than lesbians, despite being less likely to be overweight (source for last two claims). Maybe one of the pieces of this puzzle is that men are harsher critics of their partners' bodies than women are, causing folks who are interested in men to invest more in being thin.

infinite0ne · 1 month

You must have the new electric model of my gas stove.

Llamacat21 · 1 month

You're very welcome! One additional thing that might help is cooking the sauce and protein separately. This is because the sauce and protein are best cooked at different temperatures, something I've found out through a lot of trial and error. I like to cook the spice paste on low and then turn up the heat just a touch when I add the onions/tomato paste/diced tomatoes/pinch of sugar (the vegetables' liquids keeps the spices from burning). I then take my sauce off the stove and puree it with some yogurt or cream. Next, I saute the meat in the same pan at a solid medium-high flame. Only when the protein is cooked do I cover it in the sauce.

Of course, "traditional" tikka masala-- I use scare quotes because the dish is only about fifty years old, tops-- requires that you marinate the protein overnight in yogurt and grill it in a tandoor. The sauce is made in another vessel entirely. You can approach those restaurant-quality results by marinating then broiling the meat while making the sauce on the stovetop. But just cooking the chicken in the pan is a lot easier and is an acceptable substitute if you're not chasing absolute British curry joint authenticity.

Llamacat21 · 1 month

Are you spending much time heating your powders? Cooking them over a very low flame is crucial for getting the most flavor out of your ingredients. Skipping or rushing through that step might lead one to add too much spice to try and compensate for the muddled, subdued flavor of a raw powder. This undercooking/overspicing would create the bitter/powdery/clumpy results you describe.

I've had my best results by making a point to cook my spices before I even add anything else to my pan. Just gently saute your garam masala, turmeric, chili powder, minced garlic, and minced ginger over low heat until they smell warm and toasty and fragrant. Then continue as usual with onions, tomato paste, etc.

To address your other concern, about color... If you really want a nice golden sauce, up your ratio of turmeric to other ingredients. Going crazy with it might make the tikka masala taste a little earthy, but you can generally get away with a relatively heavy hand since turmeric's flavor is so mild.

thinkythought · 1 month

That thread...

Reasons why being gay is awesome: 1. Biotruthfully speaking, men just GET each other because their brains are hardwired to enjoy playing first person shooters while having anal sex and not talking about their emotions. I read a thing once that proved this.
2. EW VAGINAS

loni_xia_fox · 1 month

I'm an atheist, and I honestly ascribe it to being raised in a deeply non-religious household. My mother's Catholic schooling forged an abiding hatred of religion. My father was not brought up in a faith either-- his mother was kinda-sorta-not-really Lutheran, and his father's family had a reputation for being profoundly irreligious. My atheist blood runs deep, basically. Yet since I'm as close to "culturally atheist" as you can get, you could say I am a lot less enthusiastic about it than the new converts. Without getting too much into it, I think there are epistemic problems with celebrating rationality as the end-all, be-all of ways to know the world.

My girlfriend is a Christian. The Norwegian side of her family is full of Lutheran pastors, seminary students, and the like. What's interesting about her identity is that she doesn't hold any literal stock in her denomination's teachings-- Jesus's sanctity, homosexuality's sinfulness, etc. When I've suggested that she's really an atheist who was raised Lutheran, she vehemently denies it. Being a Christian, for her, is instead a statement about where she comes from, personally and historically. It wouldn't work for everyone, and I certainly don't understand it, but I think her method of reconciling her gay and Christian identities through reconfiguring what it means to be religious might be useful for other queer Christians.

msderp · 1 month

This is a frequent topic of discussion in my household. We have proposed the name "Scissr."

TipsTheJust · 1 month

Oh my god, Bob is fantastic. The first time my girlfriend and I walked by, we were dubious that a bar catering largely to middle-aged, working class men drinking $2 drafts would be welcoming to us homosexuelles. We were so wrong. Bob routinely gives us a couple bottles of DAB on the house, talks our ears off for hours, and implores us to bring all our friends. Gorging on Kyrgyz food down the road at Jibek Jolu then going to Cardinal Liquors is one of the easiest ways to have a good time in this city.

noworryhatebombstill

TROPHY CASE

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