How can I respectfully tell some Jehovah's Witnesses that I'm not interested?

thatthinkumdinkum · 2 days

My dad tried a couple of tactics when they used to show up at my family's door:

1) The JW's believe/teach that only 144,000 will gain entry into heaven. So pose the hypothetical situation: "what if I convert, and I become such an amazing JW that I bump YOU off the list of 144,000?"

2) Make sure that they show up at your door when you are butchering chickens. True story: I grew up on a farm and we used to slaughter and pluck our own chickens. A couple JW's showed up at the door and my father came around from the back of the house carrying a bloodied hatchet and a decapitated chicken. They got out of there FAST.

As for me, my tactic is to say that I'm Catholic and that my husband is an ex-JW who is now an atheist, and so therefore we are both doomed to eternal Hell. They usually say "thank you for your time, have a nice day," and leave.

shrugalicious · 3 days

Alright....this printer is TOAST!!

s_dafuq_j · 3 days

Avoid Gotye and Alanis Morrissette for now.

Seriously, though, I'm sorry. You have a right to be down and wallow in misery for a while. But no girl is worth taking your own life.

SantaKlouse · 4 days

Semi-similar story: the first time I went driving with my driver's permit, I attempted to make a left turn into my parents' driveway.

As naive as this sounds, I did not consider that, once the turn was nearing completion, to straighten out the wheel and continue straight down the driveway.

I proceeded to plow into a 65-year-old maple tree in front of my parents' house. I think I caused $3000 in damage to the car and probably really pissed off the tree (although it's still standing strong, 20+ years on. If you look closely though, you can see where the trunk has grown over the huge chunk I removed with the car's front fender.)

a12345678910 · 4 days

Along these lines: I've seen some orchestras play the music of Carl Stalling and other composers for Warner Bros. cartoons, while the cartoon plays on a screen behind the orchestra.

A) Lots of fun for everyone who grew up on cartoons, and B) brings to the forefront the importance of background music in cartoons.

Ninjaspeaks · 6 days

Yup, had this exact same thing happen to me yesterday with my 18-month old daughter and her stuffed duckie. It truly was the end of the world for her.

suddath · 9 days

Thanks!

suddath · 9 days

A small college in Illinois.

aviator2 · 9 days

Whoo hoo! Grew up in Woodford!

aviator2 · 9 days

As someone who grew up in rural Illinois, I think this is great. You gotta love the all-too-serious messages that appear in the local paper.

p.s. there is a town in rural Illinois named "Dana", FWIW.

SpaceMarines · 10 days

I saw him at the Montreux Jazz Festival back in '04 or '05. At one point, he began discussing how he was tired, and sad, and that this would probably be his last international tour, because he planned on retiring.

Glad to see that he did not follow that plan!

suddath · 11 days

Did you graduate yesterday?

suddath · 11 days

Yup...I just graduated with a PhD yesterday (art history...YES, ART HISTORY--don't laugh, I got a job) and I have fun stripes on my robes, too.

lord_gif · 16 days

See, shit like this just depresses me.

It seems like there's this inverse bell curve forming in today's society when it comes to parenting.

On the one hand, you have the uber-parents who have their kids taking French classes and art classes and karate and piano lessons and soccer and book groups that read Jane Austen and who proofread their kids' homework 20 times so that they get that A+, dammit.

Then on the other side, you have parents like this, or the ones who teach their toddler girls a doggie-style pose, or who basically just don't give a fuck. Their kids are a source for humiliating amusement and/or a burden.

As a postscript: "Idiocracy" just might've been a prophetic movie.

nexas123 · 17 days

My eyes followed the exact same pattern. Those tanks look like...wait...oh no, he's there.

mixigs · 18 days

Didn't this happen with Joey in an episode of "Friends"?

peutetre · 19 days

Yes....when I was growing up, we had tons of outdoor cats (some feral). My family lived on a farm and they helped against an explosion of mice entering our house.

One long-haired orange cat we had a particularly bad season of hair shedding and not-the-best grooming. It began to shed as one long piece of matted hair, from the shoulders to the tail (think of a reverse super-hero cape).

It was disgusting.

Trolls-Gone-Wild · 19 days

Reading these comments with people saying "man, I feel old....I'm 26."

Hello, I'm 37.

alvarado523 · 20 days

I think that name has become popular because "Nevaeh" is "heaven" spelled backwards.

(so if it's backwards heaven, is it hell?)

alvarado523 · 20 days

FYI, I found a couple of Star Wars t-shirts online for my toddler daughter (amidst the thousands, I'm sure). They featured important phrases from the movie.

One was the quote your shirt (the full observation by Obi Wan).

They other was: "Aren't you a little short for a storm trooper?"

The same t-shirt company also makes one that says "Red Five, Standing By". I'm sure they have others, too.

shrugalicious · 21 days

The New York Times just did a story on this last week: http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/04/23/a-surprising-risk-for-toddlers-at-playground-slides/

getjustin · 21 days

"Pressure Drop" and "Harder They Come"=best reggae EVER.

From one of the best soundtracks EVER.

getjustin · 21 days

The song that converted me to Neko Case was "Red Tide": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zP4CP5FTZU

getjustin · 21 days

THIS.

I loathe "modern" country but I can definitely tolerate the FBB and post-Crosby Byrds.

It is my understanding that the FBB are considered the godfathers of "country rock", or whatever the exact title of that genre is.

stopdropanddrumroll · 22 days

I lost my grandmother 19 years ago, on April 17th. My condolences to you and everyone in your family.

mhfc

TROPHY CASE

mhfc

TROPHY CASE

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