Jesus spanking little girls... just too creepy

territorialpoplar · 2012-05-24T19:18:55.379855+00:00

Take the text away and it's a bedridden girl fantasizing about being spanked by Charlton Heston.

weepeel · 2012-05-24T19:15:45.056897+00:00

Sounds a little like Mike Birbiglia's song, "Guitar Guy at the Party."

nomdeweb · 2012-05-24T19:06:08.048471+00:00

That team of scientists was later found floating lifeless in the world's largest pool of vomit. Their notes and papers related to this recent discovery have all gone missing. Foul play was ultimately ruled out by the chief of police, who, in an unrelated story, has recently been seen moving into a much larger house.

orchdork323 · 2012-05-24T17:50:32.881118+00:00

They might be doing the trick where the knife pops out of the target at the exact right moment to make it appear as if it had been thrown there.

sekainoyama · 2012-05-24T15:27:36.949862+00:00

Bands don't post no more...

sekainoyama · 2012-05-24T13:34:18.979208+00:00

All the threads have been closed down...

pantera975 · 1 day

CTRL-F - "LSD" ... bingo.

oneEyedGirl · 1 day

It'll be amazing what you can do with some cheap nail polish from the dollar store.

oneEyedGirl · 1 day

Hey, here you go, paint the entire bevel of the TV pink and put Hello Kitty stickers and purple hearts all over it. No way he is going to want that in the living room.

oneEyedGirl · 1 day

I think it would be great if you could go install it in a room in the house where your mother could watch it. And it would suck if your dick father commandeered it out from under her.

bubbl3girl · 1 day

And he's a hypocrite, also. Fleming catches him contradicting his own assertion pretty early on.

bubbl3girl · 1 day

I disagree because he really nails the guy and highlights the basic hypocrisy of Christian doctrine. The guy tries to pretend that he's tolerant of anyone willing to accept Jesus, then goes right back on it when Fleming asks him if it's okay for someone to be a competing faith such as Jehovah's Witness.

bubbl3girl · 1 day

I own a copy of the film, and it's an hour long. The last eight minutes are about his experience at school, and it's meant to highlight the ghastly fundamentalist Christian doctrine to which the unfortunate children of Christians are exposed. And I like how he corners the idiot that runs the school, makes him go back on the words he just said. Nothing like watching a hypocritical asshole in his upper fifties get owned by a kid.

Fishooked · 1 day

Say hallo to mah leetle frenn...

FredWampy · 1 day

Knowest thou where liest thine own towel? Yea, I say unto thee, let ev'ry man know wherein his own towel lay.

anutensil · 1 day

LOL wut

honeybblues · 2 days

I remember when I first noticed that. I was probably about eleven or so.

iplaysexbox · 2 days

morn until the afternoon.

vanwyngarden · 2 days

Probably when my wife and I noticed that almost all of the music we were having played in the church during our wedding service was either Beatles songs or songs by the individual members.

anutensil · 2 days

"...restore the American Church in her capacity as the Body of Christ, ambassador for Christ, moral teacher of America and the world, and overseer of all principalities and governing officials, as was rightfully established long ago."

Holy shit, they're talking about theocracy, and not even trying to hide it. Gotta wonder where they got balls that big.

And moderate Christians who let this shit happen are going to be very sorry when Barton and his troglodyte horde get their way. Because there's always got to be an enemy, and when all the gays and all the Muslims and all the liberals and all the academics and all the scientists all the movie stars and all the porn producers and everyone else these assholes are currently aiming their piss-stream at are gone, they'll come after the moderate Christians. "Oh, dear, you're not Christian enough, pack your bags, you're coming with us."

wolfanotaku · 2 days

I was smoking about a pack and a half a day back then. Caught a bad chest cold and couldn't bear to smoke for a couple of days, so I made up my mind right then to throw away the smokes I had left in the pack and try to give it up for good.

The key was having a lot of different flavors of gum to chew on while the nic fits subsided. Chewing the same flavor gets boring after a while, but having five or six different flavors to choose from is not so bad.

wolfanotaku · 2 days

I'm hoping to get it to go quite a lot higher!

wolfanotaku · 2 days

By tomorrow night it should start to get a lot better.

Yeah, we've all been there. It can really suck. Try to keep yourself occupied, maybe stay away from any kind of booze or other smoke.

Definitely avoid anyone you know who's still a smoker.

I got through it with sugarless gum back in 2001.

gphhawkins · 2 days

I think he looks like Bill Gates.

miwi · 2 days

Poe didn't write "The Monkey's Paw."

Here's the original story.

Unfortunately, I've never heard of the space version.

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