A few things:

• I know there are different schools of thought on this, but I don't believe you can do much to "train" an infant at such a young age. What you can do is create a good environment for sleep. I had a lot of similar concerns with my daughter, who is now (at 4 months) going down to sleep in her crib every night. If you had asked me 2 months ago, I would have told you that was impossible. Sadly I don't remember exactly when we reached this milestone, because I have mommy brain. But anyway.

• Try putting her in her crib when she's happy and awake, but you suspect she might be ready for a nap soon. Let her play a bit in her crib (maybe with one of those things that hangs on the crib and jingles when they kick it? or if you have a mobile for her to look at) while you putter around the room. Put on the radio or talk softly to her, fold laundry, etc., something that lets her know you are nearby without being too stimulating. I did this several times with my daughter when I just NEEDED to put her down to get something done, and lo and behold, she would often be asleep by the time I was done putting away the clothes, making the bed or whatever. This gave me confidence about putting her in the crib, and I think helped her create good associations with the crib as well.

• I know you said you tried swaddling and it didn't work. Try it again. Try it maybe once a week. My daughter loved the swaddle, then she hated it, then she loved it, then hated it a bit. Now it's a nightly thing: will the swaddle be good for her tonight, or not? Babies change a lot, fast. What didn't work yesterday may be a godsend today. Not that swaddles are the only answer, but I'm all about having plenty of tools in your arsenal, and especially with infants younger than 6 months, it's a real trap to ever tell yourself, "Oh, that doesn't work for my baby," or, "She doesn't like that." It changes so fast, it pays to keep trying stuff even if it hasn't worked in the past.

• The evening fussies suck, and make it almost impossible to establish a good "bedtime routine." What got me through it was actually starting the process earlier. I realized that a lot of her fussing in the evening was about being overtired and not being able to get to sleep. It sounds like maybe you have tried that? But you might try moving the beginning of your routine up by a half-hour one night and just see if it makes a difference. But honestly, you may just have to ride the chaos wave until you hit the 3-month mark, when some of those fussy evening periods should get better.

• Don't fret too much about getting her naps squared away for when you go back to work. I can almost guarantee that your baby will behave differently for your caregiver than she does for you. Babies have a way of magically going down for naps for grandparents, baby-sitters, day care providers etc. even when they won't do it for you. Don't ask me why, but it's true. Whoever watches your child during the day will find his/her own way to get your baby down for naps, no matter what you do leading up to that point. You don't have to get her "ready" to sleep without you.

• If your baby is used to being on you/in a wrap, try putting something that smells like you next to her when you put her down. I have to put my baby down on the bathroom floor while I shower, and now I lay her on my bathrobe that I wore the night before. She has something soft to lay on, and it smells like Mama. She often falls asleep that way (especially if the fan is on, and she's got the bathrobe tucked around her legs). Obviously you have to be very careful with any loose fabric around baby while she's sleeping, because of the risk of suffocation. But if you will be watching her during her nap, or if you can remove the item after she falls asleep, it could work.

Hang in there - as others have said, it DOES get better. Just remember to keep trying things, even if they have failed in the past. Be brave!