Diablo 3 or girlfriend?

bud369 · 2012-05-24T18:36:05.243219+00:00

There's over 3,000,000,000 women on earth.

You have only one gaming PC.

You know which one is special.

Cadroc · 2012-05-24T18:27:18.644997+00:00

Ants.

Cadroc · 2012-05-24T18:22:45.331092+00:00

You know that goop that is always dripping off of the monsters in the Aliens movies? That's KY. It stands to reason then if you could make a lobster and a scorpion mate you might get your own Green fountain of KY in your own house.

Proposal. Fill the bathtub with lobsters and scorpions and then fuck in it to show them how its done. Make sure to take the bands off of the lobsters so they can get down properly.

Cadroc · 2012-05-24T18:19:35.123284+00:00

Its not called "cock sauce" for nothing.

Cadroc · 2012-05-24T18:18:49.201605+00:00

Canned cat food.

pleasegodyes · 2012-05-24T18:09:15.106869+00:00

Bravo

PoppaDoppolis · 2012-05-24T17:23:16.023958+00:00

"There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses."

Ezekiel 23:20

Might not be the deepest of biblical references, but it's one of the more entertaining ones.

fr0ng · 2012-05-24T17:17:05.530004+00:00

"Low intensity conflicts" are pretty fucking intense if you're involved.

bobisterbezreal · 2012-05-24T16:43:03.932709+00:00

We didn't create you to like blood, we created you to drink it. Get back to work.

ifuckingloverape · 2012-05-24T16:13:44.147477+00:00

Funniest fucking thing I've read all day.

You have a beautiful fart-blocker by the way.

The way your filthy laundry is strewn around your floor really brings the whole thing together.

enigmalti · 2012-05-24T15:56:35.470979+00:00

I would forget her and get back to doing shit that makes me happy.

Liberteer · 2012-05-24T15:50:21.691748+00:00

You fool! we must now complete the ritual of friendship!

Make ready your helm. Mind Meld activate!

Form of... a Crocostimpy!

LOLinternetLOL · 2012-05-24T15:40:34.093476+00:00

States in the US are more like their own countries in how they operate, but they're all under the same "Federal" umbrella. Many of our states are larger than European countries and they each have their own laws. I live in Massachusetts right now and there are things that you could do in other states (perfectly legally) that would potentially get you arrested, or worse here.

Then again, if the police find you have less than an ounce of pot in this state you get a ticket, no jail, pay a small fine (I think it's $50 or $100) and move on.

s810 · 2012-05-24T15:16:56.418223+00:00

I would be embarrassed if someone called me a cyber expert.

Can you imagine someone handing you a business card with "Cyber Expert" on it? Seriously. Don't talk down to people.

How about something like USCYBERCOM in conjunction with the CIA executed a minor act of electronic vandalism that was corrected within minutes, but sounds cool like we haxored the Gibson.

Nit0 · 2012-05-24T14:36:33.499204+00:00

Sorry for Party Rocking.

croutonsoup · 2012-05-24T14:21:46.089033+00:00

I HAVE THE POWER OF FLIES!

Liberteer · 2012-05-24T14:17:50.119523+00:00

No sir. I don't like it.

MatthewRoar · 2012-05-24T14:06:03.094853+00:00

sadcrab dot ow

MatthewRoar · 2012-05-24T14:05:39.510298+00:00

Archer never apologizes.

Boonsfarb · 2012-05-24T13:56:53.535234+00:00

Once you achieve perfection its best to stop while you're ahead.

nomdeweb · 2012-05-24T13:54:05.858866+00:00

So itchy. So very, very itchy right now.

nomdeweb · 2012-05-24T13:33:37.046288+00:00

I'd be more terrified of head lice working in a Nursery.

I'm going to feel the oogie woogies for a week just typing head lice now.

nomdeweb · 2012-05-24T13:30:39.895797+00:00

Why not marry safe science if you love it so much?

If I could best of a single quote that would be the one.

Exploration and testing boundaries is inherently dangerous and I'd rather blow up trying to build a samoflange than pancake on a bad bungee jump. Risk takers come in all shapes and sizes, some do it while working for progress.

ProlapsedPineal · 2012-05-24T13:25:12.036516+00:00

I'm very glad to hear that it meant something to you. It's a long road to walk down, and it often feels like it's not going to go anywhere, but it does.

This world is lacking in people of character who can be examples to the next generation. That's your job now. It's going to be lots of long days and a few sleepless nights but if that's what it takes to bring up some good people so be it.

I had a friend once. He was a handsome guy, married to a beautiful woman, had a phd, everything going for him. I found out he dumped his wife and newborn son and went off with a woman he met at work and moved far away from him. I don't talk to him anymore, burnt the bridge and didn't look back.

I've got my flaws but one thing my kids know is that I am there for them always. That is something important.

ProlapsedPineal · 2012-05-24T03:34:21.845286+00:00

I'm 20 minutes south of Boston (Canton Line) and I have 3 racks of big ass ribs in the fridge for Saturday. You are welcome over my friend.

I haven't stolen any kidneys yet, think you'll be safe.

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