Poor bastard [x-post form r/funny]

IByrdl · 29 days

A guy that is willing to spend so much time with a girl, give her advice, laugh at her jokes, hang out with her all the time, be her "best friend", wants to have sex with her - period.

It's as simple as that, especially when they're both teenagers/young adults. I can see a FA 60 y.o. dude hanging out with a 60 y.o. woman, but when you're 20 and you spend so much time with a girl...you want to hit that.

I also find amazing that women are still unable to realize that and thus post such, insulting in my opinion, status updates, or DO realize it and do not care enough to not post such updates.

The image that pops in your head when you read this thing is of a "poor bastard" like OP said, not of a genuinely nice guy that is fun to hang out with.

user24 · 1 month

Love it. Why carry 3 SAK though? Doesn't the Escort just add extra weight?

tiffmck · 1 month

I really do not care discussing why having sex with your own sister is wrong. For me it's one of those things that go without saying.

It's like asking me why having sex with your mother is wrong or why torturing puppies is wrong. That's how ridiculous I find the concept of ultra liberals accepting this kind of thing because "it hurts noone" and "we got to keep an open mind".

There's 7 billion people out there. If you choose your sister, yes, there's something seriously wrong with you. If you cannot automatically see that, I do not care to change your mind.

What's next? Her mother? Holding hands and french kissing in public? Why is that wrong? Is anyone getting hurt? But they're in love... Ugh...

tiffmck · 1 month

Ok...I do not think that having sex with your own sister is perfectly normal, ok and that it does not have any negative impact on anyone's life.

One would assume that it goes without saying, but apparently I did not get the last issue of "Incest Digest".

tiffmck · 1 month

I wouldn't exactly call your life screwed up, you're having fun and it doesn't seem to be leaving any negative impact on anyones life so I say go all out.

ಠ_ಠ Wat?

dbcooperlives · 1 month

He plays a great character and also gives people a great excuse to show off how cool and progressive they are since they do not discriminate against little people.

He's good, but nowhere near the godlike status people say he is. If anything he's as good as most other actors on this show.

karan_r · 1 month

If this is anything like the Suspension like people say (and it certainly looks like it), then it's a worthless piece of crap.

I don't have huge demands from my tools and I even bought the Suspension for half price, but it's not worth even 10$.

It will break if you try anything more than opening a couple of beers.

SalusaSecundus · 1 month

I never understood the principle behind the handkerchief. Why would I want to wipe my sweat off or blow my nose with something and then put it back in my pocket so that I can use it later when I can use a disposable tissue instead?

I get why someone in the Victorian era would carry one but now we have much more practical and hygienic solutions.

RustyDerg · 1 month

Tears...goddamn TEARS in my eyes! Oh God, this is hilarious...

RustyDerg · 1 month

First one on this thread that made me laugh out loud. This is awesome.

TheKoG · 1 month

One does not get 645.000 comment karma so simply.

Baator · 2 months

No, they are considered stupid when they have homophobic, close-minded, stupid opinions.

Austinquick · 2 months

Not only that but anything extra costs an extra 5-10$, you want straps +5, you want a belt clip +8...

60-80$ for a small pocket organizer is too much.

XXCUPZ · 2 months

If this guy can so easily throw you off your game and is doing such a great job at it, then to me at least it seems that you are the one who's doing something wrong.

While I was reading your story I couldn't shake the feeling that the girl is in on this and they are having fun mocking you behind your back.

There is no chance in hell the girl does not understand what is going on here and if she had any problem at all, she'd probably stop him herself.

Try to act more natural around her. It sounds like you are seducing her too obviously and have maybe become a little creepy. Don't allow the other guy to have such an easy job to make fun of you. Don't give him material. Make him appear as the weird, creepy guy who's doing something socially awkward. Right now it seems like he's winning and I wouldn't classify this guy as an AFC. You shouldn't underestimate him.

Baator · 2 months

And it only costs 350$!

Exactly what I need for my EDC bag where I throw knives and multitools and I carry it everywhere.

I think I'll get 2 of those.

bibimcmacky · 2 months

"For someone accomplishing something" ??

Damn, the bar gets set lower and lower these days...

Complaining for not receiving enough upvotes because he didn't beat his meat for a whole month. This is sad.

KatL12 · 2 months

Sometimes the Knights of /new fail to do their job.

Chinking · 2 months

Why are you still answering this person? It's obvious he/she is a troll trying to get a reaction out of you.

Downvote and go your merry way.

"you forged documents"... What an ass.

ijustwantmyrug · 2 months

This is at least the 6th time I see this image on Reddit. It pops up every month or so.

yogogibear · 3 months

This blows my mind, I find it extremely interesting.

How do you manage to have sex with someone that immediately after makes you gag, feel "revulsion" and "violated"?

And to do this thing repeatedly? I really don't get how you get into that situation in the first place. Personally, I see a girl and I either find her attractive or not. There is a gray area where I could have sex with this girl if I was extremely horny or whatever but I'd never force myself to have sex with someone that I find repulsive just for the sake of it.

Again, why put yourself through this experience? Just to say you've fucked one more girl?

bigmeach · 3 months

What do you need to take the message that she's interested?

Her laying on a bed with her legs in the air and asking you to fuck her? She's done everything else.

scottcmu · 3 months

This is especially hilarious to Greek people. Costas Mitsotakis (coincidence, not the same guy that didn't win), is a former prime minister and his name has become synonymous to bad luck. His face has become a meme where he wishes people "good luck" and of course the exact opposite happens.

When I read the article I had to make sure it wasn't some kind of fake news site.

MadnessTheory · 3 months

She seems like a nice girl. You tried, you got rejected this time but hey, can't win them all. If she's sincere, which we don't have any reason to think she's not, then you've made a friend which is a great thing.

If you are to get rejected, this is the way to be done. She was polite, she didn't play any mind games and quite possible she sincerely believes that you're a nice guy, she just doesn't want to sleep with you.

All in all, not so bad.

ello_again · 3 months

Most of this stuff is just something to play with/collect.

If you expect to hear stories about how useful a tiny pry bar is in real life, you'll get disappointed. It's just something cool to hang in your key chain, as most of the things around here.

EDC is like toys for men. Unless your job specifically requires tools, I doubt that there will be even one instance in your life where you'll be "damn! I wish I had my tiny pry bar with me right now!"

Same with fire&steel on key chains, 5 different multitools/knives etc.

They are just toys for men. If it's not your thing, just move on and buy something that you like looking at or that you actually find useful.

krevency · 4 months

To me he will always be they guy that ruined "The Office". I don't find him funny in the slightest.

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