Saul Bellow once said: "With a novelist, like a surgeon, you have to get a feeling that you've fallen into good hands - someone from whom you can accept the anesthetic with confidence." What instantly breaks that confidence for you?

CheatasaurusRex · 2012-05-23T12:05:14.557143+00:00

I didn't know defensive ejaculation was an option! I will try that the next time I'm being attacked.

CheatasaurusRex · 2012-05-23T08:53:29.458988+00:00

"I know what you mean," she eyeballed cooingly.

CheatasaurusRex · 1 day

Dick lit!

That's the funniest thing I've heard in a long time.

CheatasaurusRex · 1 day

Gotta disagree with ya there, champ. Have you read Kavalier and Klay? Or Gentlemen of the Road?

faxinating · 1 day

We stopped using deodorant some time ago in favor of a 50-50 mix of corn starch and talc. We add a few drops of tea tree oil as well. It works about ten times better than the best deodorant I've ever used. I ALWAYS reek at the end of the day, but now I don't! Thanks, Mother Nature!

/end commercial voice

Contemplative_Fapper · 1 day

Never go on a date with a loaded gun.

--paraphrased from There's Something About Mary

Ambivalent_Fanatic · 2 days

Yes, those are both true. I've used buckwheat grass but not alfalfa.

Ambivalent_Fanatic · 2 days

Yes, I have some in my garden. I'm trying to figure out if I should pull it all or leave some or leave all of it.

throwaway08052012 · 2 days

I realized after I quit drinking that my body was made up of 70% water and 29% anger issues. The other 1% is my guts and stuff. If you pulled all the anger out of me, I'd be a foot shorter. Angry? Hoo boy.

I've actually had this problem since I was a little kid. I'm not sure why. I used to get into a lot of fights, and later I got bullied, and later still I became a bully, though not for too long. I controlled myself pretty well, but the last time I lost it, which was almost twenty years ago, I punched a guy while drunk and scarred him for life. Never mind that he was in the process of beating up someone else. I could have found a different way to deal with it if sober.

Anyway... which came first, the angries or the drunks? In my case it was definitely the angries. I started drinking to deal with it, and to make myself feel better about myself, and to generally escape from being me.

What I've done about it, so far, is to quit drinking. That's about it. I have some seriously unresolved issues, and you've actually just reminded me that I've been meaning to get back into therapy as soon as possible. Things are going great right now, which is the time you want to start working on yourself... so they stay that way.

annahri · 2 days

He did use compost in his kitchen garden. He just didn't try to cover large areas in it, because that would have led to large expense and a great deal of extra work. His whole philosophy was not to interfere if at all possible, which is what he meant by "do-nothing farming". Many Westerners have interpreted this to mean he was lazy, which is of course ridiculous.

ChadR44 · 2 days

No mention made of Edmund Bergler, a psychiatrist who wrote books on curing homosexuality by treating it as a neurosis, and who claimed to have cured thousands of people through psychotherapy. Spitzer was hardly the first to do stuff like this, and in fact I think he was probably piggybacking on Bergler's work.

Pride_Of_Scotland · 3 days

Walk hard, my friend. Walk hard.

Pride_Of_Scotland · 3 days

Dude: you are better off drinking toilet water than drinking booze, and I mean that sincerely.

Get the fuck out of there. Grab the bride's garter, ram some cake in the groom's face, steal the biggest-looking present and just fucking book it.

adango · 3 days

I swear to God I remember being in the airport somewhere and meeting my grandfather for the first time. I stood up, and he cheered. This would have been when I was around one. I'm sure a lot of people will tell me this is impossible.

robobreasts · 4 days

Good God, I had no idea North and South were actually separate countries before the war. Consider me edified. Thank you.

Ambivalent_Fanatic · 4 days

Oh, no, wait, it's a...

steiner76 · 4 days

Yeah, really... I read that and suddenly it was 1977 and I was sitting in a movie theater with my dad, watching Star Wars.

Ambivalent_Fanatic · 4 days

No, it's...

Ambivalent_Fanatic · 4 days

I often felt that my wife preferred me drunk, because I was silly and easy to manage. But she definitely did not like me hung over, nor did my children. And I think my drinking was going to be heading into "constantly inappropriate and embarrassing" territory very shortly if I hadn't quit when I had.

davesfakeaccount · 4 days

Congrats, friend. I like hikingdub's flying metaphor, because that is often what sobriety feels like to me. I'm up in the air, cruising along, doing awesome things and enjoying the hell out of my perspective. And sometimes I think, "Wow, I can actually make my life into whatever I want." This is a lesson I had somehow mastered in my 20s, when I accomplished some pretty great things... and then I crashed hard for the next decade.

It's funny that success can be scary. The only thing that makes it scary, though, is that drunk voice. The higher, purer version of you wants to succeed, and it will, if you listen to it and let it through... which is just what you are doing.

sajjr · 4 days

Because for me, it wouldn't be quitting again after a single night out. It'd be quitting again after another 40 nights out.

I have often said that I don't think I would survive falling off the wagon again. Because, like you say, it wouldn't be just one night. It would be another ten years. By then I would be in my early 50s, if I didn't die of a heart attack or something else first, and then I would have to deal with the hell of kicking again. I have to remind myself of this often. I wish I had journaled my early days of sobriety just so I could remind myself of what it was like... but honestly, I think if I had, it wouldn't have made much sense.

VictoriaElaine · 4 days

Congrats on almost one year! That's fantastic and inspirational.

Ambivalent_Fanatic · 4 days

My wife is really having a hard time adjusting to the fact that she's married to an alcoholic, I think. She is a wonderful person, but she also likes things to be uncomplicated and pleasant, and alcoholism is neither of those things. She understands my decision was necessary and is very glad I made it. But part of me thinks that deep down she wishes it just wasn't an issue, and that is what makes me feel kinda bad sometimes.

Ambivalent_Fanatic

TROPHY CASE

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