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Off to the hospital with my pregnant wife, for the 12 week scan, can't wait to see if we're having a boy or an abortion. (self.reddit.com)
submitted 10 months ago by Shortypo
[–]dart22 517 points518 points519 points 10 months ago
I had to check and re-check to make sure this wasn't r/thirdworldproblems.
[–]Brokim 60 points61 points62 points 10 months ago
that almost made me laugh harder than the post
[–]ducky2009 78 points79 points80 points 10 months ago
I had to make sure it wasn't r/circlejerk
[–]againster 1067 points1068 points1069 points 10 months ago
i can't believe i laughed at that. so wrong.
[–]shooptek 244 points245 points246 points 10 months ago
I just pooped myself too.
But, if the baby does not share your skin color it would be a "boy or double homocide."
[–]Jey_Lux 134 points135 points136 points 10 months ago
So hard to tell on the ultrasound. I commented on this to my wife's ultrasound tech. She was not ammused.
"I can't tell if he's black or white! I want my money back."
[–]vodkaSuperhero 151 points152 points153 points 10 months ago
We hear the same jokes over and over. I try and pretend I've never heard them.
[–]goodolarchie 81 points82 points83 points 10 months ago
If life begins at conception, how come I can't claim this little timesink as a dependent this tax year?
[–]thersoiv 15 points16 points17 points 10 months ago
You aren't a corporation, that is why.
[–]FunExplosions 91 points92 points93 points 10 months ago
"Do they taste as good as they look?"
[–]lefthandedspatula 25 points26 points27 points 10 months ago
Tell me more!
[–]Not_Livingston 28 points29 points30 points 10 months ago
[–]Chazboski 69 points70 points71 points 10 months ago
Like did he have a car?
[–]Mr_A 33 points34 points35 points 10 months ago
Ladies and gentlemen, the greatest cover of that song, ever.
[–]bonilla506 14 points15 points16 points 10 months ago
[–]HarryMuffin 14 points15 points16 points 10 months ago
[–]jfh2112 12 points13 points14 points 10 months ago
Did you get very far?
[–]nosfera2 6 points7 points8 points 10 months ago*
Babies show up as grey on ultasound because they exist in the womb in both black and white states due to the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. Skin color is only deteemined when you 'open the box', as with the Schrödinger's cat experiment.
Edit: some machines color the image but that's just post processing.
[–]bowsting 25 points26 points27 points 10 months ago
Yes, I too produced a small sampling of bodily fluids, semen in fact, upon comprehending the subtle hilarity of Shortypo's comment.
[–]IPoopedMyPants 43 points44 points45 points 10 months ago
Oddly, I didn't.
[–]cags7541 17 points18 points19 points 10 months ago
it's been a weird day for everyone, man
[–]natophonic 30 points31 points32 points 10 months ago
"You bitch! You whore! How could you do this to me!?" "Huh?" "Look at the screen, that baby's obviously not mine, you fucked some guy with bluish-gray skin!" "... nurse, I'd like to schedule an abortion. This man should not be reproducing."
[–]offthecane 8 points9 points10 points 10 months ago
In her defense, Dr. Manhattan was asking for it.
[–]madmanmunt 2 points3 points4 points 10 months ago
"homocide" = gay sperm donor of another race?
[–]antant_ant 14 points15 points16 points 10 months ago
as a white male, it would be a joyous occasion. My son would become an athlete when hes get older. NO COLLEGE TUITION!
[–]sultrymoniker 29 points30 points31 points 10 months ago
On a side note, interesting story on NPR regarding the long term consequences of gender imbalance.
[–]AttackTribble 444 points445 points446 points 10 months ago
OP must be Chinese.
[–]StopRightThereCrimin 290 points291 points292 points 10 months ago*
OP is probably British seeing as he stole this off the joke website Sickipedia which is quite popular in Britain. Yes the joke has existed in variations since at latest the early 00s but OP didn't even bother rewording the joke:
http://www.sickipedia.org/joke/view/989459
EDIT: Damn, sounded like I was being a bit overly-critical. Doesn't really matter as long as people laugh I guess, but I was just surprised by the number of people who thought this was an original joke.
[–]ireland123 273 points274 points275 points 10 months ago
Complains about OP stealing joke, steals my comment and gets more upvotes than me ಠ_ಠ
[–]damendred 260 points261 points262 points 10 months ago
Ireland victimized by the British, yet again.
[–]Mendoza2909 73 points74 points75 points 10 months ago
800 years of joke stealing...
[–]workroom 82 points83 points84 points 10 months ago
How Many Potatoes Does It Take To Kill An Irishman?
....None
[–]bagofgerbils 67 points68 points69 points 10 months ago
My potatoes bring all the irish to the yard, and they're like: that famine was hard. Damn right, that famine was hard. I could feed you, but you'll have to starve. NA-NA, NA-NA, NAAA.
[–]Anne_Cordelia_Rox 6 points7 points8 points 10 months ago
This may be a horribly old joke, but I laughed so hard I woke up my dog. Thanks for this.
[–]irishsandman 16 points17 points18 points 10 months ago
tell me about it.
[–]staffell 25 points26 points27 points 10 months ago
The Irish War of Independence (Irish: Cogadh na Saoirse,[4]) Anglo-Irish War, or Tan War[5] was a guerrilla war mounted by the Irish Republican Army (IRA) against the British government and its forces in Ireland. It began in January 1919, following the Irish Republic's declaration of independence. Both sides agreed to a ceasefire (or "truce") in July 1921. The post-ceasefire talks led to the December 1921 Anglo-Irish Treaty. This treaty ended British rule in most of Ireland and, after a ten-month transitional period overseen by a provisional government, the Irish Free State was established. However, six northern counties remained within the United Kingdom as Northern Ireland, with its own devolved parliament. After the ceasefire, political and sectarian violence (between republicans and loyalists, and between Irish Catholics and Protestants) continued in Northern Ireland for many months.
[–]irishsandman 2 points3 points4 points 10 months ago
well I guess I asked for it.
[–]wesweb 20 points21 points22 points 10 months ago
Scumbag redditor
[–]FlippinPigeon 21 points22 points23 points 10 months ago
Everything is a repost of a repost. Sickipedia got it from somewhere too I bet
[–]MattBD 8 points9 points10 points 10 months ago
Could be Indian - I understand selective abortion is common in parts of rural India. Apparently women are known to be subjected to all kinds of unpleasant treatment from their husband or in-laws if they have trouble producing a son.
[–]asleijsmirnova 137 points138 points139 points 10 months ago
For this post, not only will you have a son. But he will be the next Perez Hilton. Karmas a bitch.
[–]thedevilsdictionary 40 points41 points42 points 10 months ago
May your first child, be an immasculine child.
[–]CapersandCheese 87 points88 points89 points 10 months ago
the delete button won't save you now
[–]the_real_woody 20 points21 points22 points 10 months ago*
Thank you for making this post so I can show it to my fiance. She can now stop calling me the biggest asshole in the world.
*edit spelling :(
[–]frogmeat 3 points4 points5 points 10 months ago
Think she will get you an "I'm #2" T-shirt? :D
[–]xxspryte 76 points77 points78 points 10 months ago
The gender is not visible on an ultrasound until at least 17 weeks, and most doctors won't even do a gender-identifying ultrasound until 20 weeks.
[–]well_met_sir 80 points81 points82 points 10 months ago
the word that you are looking for is "sex"
[–]Jenjena 12 points13 points14 points 10 months ago
Man, wouldn't it be fun as hell if there was a gender-scanner to use on adults?
[–]logicalrationaltruth 15 points16 points17 points 10 months ago
Probably wouldn't be all that fun when you think about it
[–]Stregano 4 points5 points6 points 10 months ago
I would use that more than people realize.
[–][deleted] 10 months ago
[deleted]
[–]vitaminmary 9 points10 points11 points 10 months ago
My doctor stopped telling people the sex of their baby. He said many of them would get abortions after they found out it wasn't what they wanted. I understand the right to choose, but in this case I'm going to be judgmental and say that's pretty terrible.
[–]HappyGiraffe 11 points12 points13 points 10 months ago
That was my thought, too. Itty bitty external sex organs only START developing in the 10th week (on average), so there's really not much to see at 12 weeks.
I got my gender scan at 16 1/2 weeks, but only because I had to go in because I fell down the stairs. They decided to just do the anatomy scan then, and, lo and behold, PENIS!
[–]pryomancer 13 points14 points15 points 10 months ago
lo and behold, PENIS!
That phrase earned me many a court appearance.
[–]unfallible 32 points33 points34 points 10 months ago
actually gender is not visible on ultrasound ever
[–][deleted] 10 points11 points12 points 10 months ago
You trawled through the comments on a eugenics joke and decided to make your PC correction here? Admit it: you correct people at parties, don't you?
[–]CodeandOptics 17 points18 points19 points 10 months ago
I'll tell you this guy. I love my son, that's for sure. But my daughter, my daughter just makes me feel like nothing I can explain. I simply cherish her.
Be happy if you have a healthy BABY...and if your wife gives you any ass for the next 12 months after this.
Just damn
[–]Shortypo[S] 681 points682 points683 points 10 months ago
SHIT SHE SAW THIS HOW DO I GET RID OF THIS
[–]dick122 941 points942 points943 points 10 months ago
I'll help you out with this. Unplug your computer and pack it neatly inside a box. You'll want to take that with you when you go. Good luck.
[–]1800FREESEX 151 points152 points153 points 10 months ago
You win.
[–]workroom 51 points52 points53 points 10 months ago
Next, he should next try staying with his sister in law... and doing her laundry... and then...
[–]bobbyhead 24 points25 points26 points 10 months ago
. . . feed her dog, and then . . .
[–]obviouslythrowaway 27 points28 points29 points 10 months ago
...find SIL's panties, and then...
[–]bobbyhead 15 points16 points17 points 10 months ago
. . . fails to lock the door . . .
[–]blitz47 11 points12 points13 points 10 months ago
....Then they finally do the dirty
[–]HenryPouet 3 points4 points5 points 10 months ago
Watch Nancy Grace ?
[–]workroom 2 points3 points4 points 10 months ago
Jesus, no, that's horrible!!!... get caught sniffing her panties while wanking is all I was suggesting you sick fuck.
[–]WhiteZero 8 points9 points10 points 10 months ago
Good luck... we're all counting on you.
[–]portablebiscuit 247 points248 points249 points 10 months ago
ABORT! ABORT!!
[–]churstblock 7 points8 points9 points 10 months ago
I don't know how you're not rolling in upvotes right now for this hilariously appropriate response to his panic.
[–]MrHateMan 15 points16 points17 points 10 months ago
Don't worry about it. It'll make a great story that your ex-wife can tell your kid.
[–]Sonic9707 41 points42 points43 points 10 months ago
Seriously. What the hell did you think would happen if you posted this?
[–]re-tardis 279 points280 points281 points 10 months ago
I honestly hate this...There's a delete button staring you in the face; you're just trying to blantly karma whore.
[–]NonstopWindex 38 points39 points40 points 10 months ago
Add '.compact' to the end of the URL. You'll see on the mobile version there isn't any way to delete your posts or comments.
[–]re-tardis 20 points21 points22 points 10 months ago
Thus the follow up answer.
[–]NonstopWindex 21 points22 points23 points 10 months ago
Despite it saying you had 2 minutes on my post when I was browsing your reply wasn't there. =P
[–]r00d 5 points6 points7 points 10 months ago
Happy B-DAY!!
[–]NonstopWindex 10 points11 points12 points 10 months ago
thank you sir
[–]Shortypo[S] 250 points251 points252 points 10 months ago
How do you delete on a phone?!?!?!?!
[–]re-tardis 439 points440 points441 points 10 months ago
Oh, well that's a seperate hilarious situation all together. To the front page you go!
[–]zjbird 124 points125 points126 points 10 months ago
That's all it took for you to believe him?
[–]obviouslythrowaway 76 points77 points78 points 10 months ago
Hey, it's written on the Internet, so it's true.
[–]Chevron 28 points29 points30 points 10 months ago
Can we stop doing this?
[–]ahmadamaj 23 points24 points25 points 10 months ago
You're free to stop doing it, others might still want to do it.
[–]TemetNosce 42 points43 points44 points 10 months ago
Have you tried turning the phone off? Then back on again?
[–]SharkFart 32 points33 points34 points 10 months ago
QUICK! REBOOT WITH F8 IN SAFE MODE! !!
[–]Erif_Neerg 24 points25 points26 points 10 months ago
Or make a GUI interface in visual basic to do some double hacking.
[–]vinceums 16 points17 points18 points 10 months ago
.. just post your password here, and ask nicely, I'm sure someone would log into your account from a computer and take care of that for you!
[–]NonstopWindex 42 points43 points44 points 10 months ago
You need to find a way to switch to the full version of the site instead of the mobile one.
If your using a smart phone you should be able to pull the '.compact' off the end of your URL. But its far to late to be saved. Sounds like you better get comfortable on the couch this weekend.
[–]appropriate-username 2 points3 points4 points 10 months ago
Happy birthday!
[–]NonstopWindex 3 points4 points5 points 10 months ago
Thanks
[–]workroom 3 points4 points5 points 10 months ago
you're=you are
and it should be "its far too late to..."
you will have to stay in recess.
[–]CapNRoddy 14 points15 points16 points 10 months ago
WOOSH
[–]lilnizzle 8 points9 points10 points 10 months ago
No karma for self posts.
[–]throw_away_me 2 points3 points4 points 10 months ago
Yes but people commenting on his jokes are funny so it all evens out.
[–]ElephantFace 2 points3 points4 points 10 months ago
He's fucking with you. He copy/pastes this joke from Sickipedia.
[–]RanRanRuu 19 points20 points21 points 10 months ago
Okay, in all seriousness. PM me your password and I'll delete it for you. I swear I wont do anything else. Straight in, straight out. You can even screencap this comment and hold me responsible for anything that happens afterwards. I think you've learned your lesson so far.
[–]pr1ntscreen 48 points49 points50 points 10 months ago
His password is hunter2
[–]nemec 39 points40 points41 points 10 months ago
Don't be an idiot. No one puts five asterisks as their password.
[–]theumbrellaman 2 points3 points4 points 10 months ago
Sir, I think you may have just discovered the best password ever
[–]OriginalStomper 2 points3 points4 points 10 months ago
Naw, it's swordfish. The password is always swordfish. Except when it is Afghanistan banana stand.
[–][deleted] 15 points16 points17 points 10 months ago
Fearing retribution from his wife is not the same as actually understanding why she's pissed and feeling badly about it. I see no evidence of a lesson learned yet.
[–]mungd 7 points8 points9 points 10 months ago
Congratulations on your daughter.
[–]QuasarSGB 4 points5 points6 points 10 months ago
You sir have achieved an entirely new level of fucked. Congratulations.
[–]jewbomb 2 points3 points4 points 10 months ago
Delete system 32?
[–]Mybrainmelts 12 points13 points14 points 10 months ago
Here's a surf board, you can now ride the bitch wave out
[–]arbores 28 points29 points30 points 10 months ago
not sure if really can't delete
or just karma whore
[–]frogmeat 4 points5 points6 points 10 months ago
Yeah, is he really an idiot who can't figure out how to delete a posting . . . or is he an idiot who thinks self-posts are eligible for karma?
Hmmm . . .
[–]Kijamon 8 points9 points10 points 10 months ago
A 2 week old sickipedia joke, well done....
[–]Liverotto 2 points3 points4 points 10 months ago
Shortypo you clearly are a Roman among Greeks.
A letter from a Roman citizen to his wife, dating from 1 BC, demonstrates the casual nature with which infanticide was often viewed:
"I am still in Alexandria. ... I beg and plead with you to take care of our little child, and as soon as we receive wages, I will send them to you. In the meantime, if (good fortune to you!) you give birth, if it is a boy, let it live; if it is a girl, expose it.".
[–]Archer007 3 points4 points5 points 10 months ago
This is Grade-A reddit trollbait.
[–][deleted] 40 points41 points42 points 10 months ago
... DAE think the OP might want to get to the front page? Look. You have two choices: an upvote or a downvote. You can upvote him because this is a mildly funny offensive comment, but that might be just what he wants; you can downvote him because it might anger his wife, or because the gentleman doth protest too much. Downvoted.
[–]dskmy117 18 points19 points20 points 10 months ago
I did not vote. P Diddy be damned.
[–]SilentLettersSuck 2 points3 points4 points 10 months ago
VOTE OR DIE
[–]DoIMakeYouYawn 17 points18 points19 points 10 months ago
I can copy and paste a joke from sickipedia as well.
[–]mild_resolve 13 points14 points15 points 10 months ago
Ah... but did you?
[–]tonecapone3001 20 points21 points22 points 10 months ago
I know this is a joke, but it does piss me off when people want a certain sex so bad. I come from a family of all boys including my cousins. When I had my first child it was a girl and I was the happiest man in the world. Seriously it does not matter what sex your kid is, as long as they are healthy.
[–]markjaquith 2 points3 points4 points 10 months ago
Says doesn't want baby to be a certain sex. Is really happy when it is the first girl in an all-male family.
Just kidding. But seriously, the joke is not that girls are less desirable, but that someone would be so callous as to suggest abortion as a sex filter.
[–]kitush 2 points3 points4 points 10 months ago
I unfortunately miscarried a few weeks ago. When we first found out - went through the whole 'omg' stage, and then by the end we decided we were ecstatic. Two days late, I lost the baby. My husband and I would have been delighted regardless of the baby's gender as would both sets of grandparents / uncles / aunts.
Anyone who aborts a baby because of the gender - I would do anything to be in your position of being pregnant with a little girl.
[–][deleted] 49 points50 points51 points 10 months ago
Sure this is a lie, but, it ought to be linked to r/bestof so it gets to the top so this guy loses his nuts.
[–]Vanetia 54 points55 points56 points 10 months ago
Wow
I don't know what's worse: that you made this post, or that I laughed at it.
[–]Ronbo795 34 points35 points36 points 10 months ago
Umm seriously so we all know this is bullshit right?
[–]Conde_Nasty 9 points10 points11 points 10 months ago
I'm honestly confused. This is obviously a retelling of an old joke but not sure if people up there getting angry at him and/or laughing at him are serious or just being ironic or what. Then again, this is a site that has called for the death of people who work at big banks so I don't have any faith in this place.
[–]apackollamas 16 points17 points18 points 10 months ago
You shut your mouth! This has been the best thing that has happened to me all day.
Have an upvote. ಠ_ಠ
[–]shankrabbit 40 points41 points42 points 10 months ago
As a dude who has a daughter: fuck off and have an upvote. :)
(Girls aren't that bad... pretty awesome actually.)
[–]CSharpSauce 18 points19 points20 points 10 months ago
How does it feel to know that in 18 years, some random dude is going to look at your daughter and say "yeah... i'd hit that"
[–]lawfairy 27 points28 points29 points 10 months ago
That happens to sons too ;-)
[–]ACSlater 45 points46 points47 points 10 months ago
If it takes 18 years for that, I imagine he'd probably be quite pleased.
[–]shankrabbit 19 points20 points21 points 10 months ago
Very pleased, borderline disappointed. She would be 21.
[–]fancy-chips 13 points14 points15 points 10 months ago
As a man I don't know why other men see this as bad. for some reason I just don't have this instinct to punish my daughter for dating. Why would it be bad if your daughter dated and had sex? as long as she did it safely didn't get a disease, raped or had a kid I'd be totally fine with it.
As long as the dude wasn't an idiot I'd approve. I mean if he didn't get above a 3.5GPA I probably wouldn't approve so much.
[–]istara 6 points7 points8 points 10 months ago
An upvote for a nice and healthy sounding man.
The obsession some fathers appear to have re their daughters' "purity" borders on the creepy.
[–][deleted] 18 points19 points20 points 10 months ago
GOD FUCKING FORBID A WOMAN HAVE SEX!
[–]zulelord 3 points4 points5 points 10 months ago
That is called "Normal" most guys can deal with it just fine.
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points 10 months ago
By that point non random dudes completed the task, and many more have already thought it.
[–]honeycombs 19 points20 points21 points 10 months ago
stay classy and misogyny free, reddit <3
inbe4 "learn to take a joke11!!!!1"
[–]c0ckBl0cker 13 points14 points15 points 10 months ago
I've just had a little girl and being a guy I was hoping for a boy because I wanted an excuse to play with all those cool toys again but I realised it doesn't really matter, I'm going to teach her how to hammer nails in and change engine oil anyway. We need more emancipated women in this world.
[–]conophytum 8 points9 points10 points 10 months ago
This is great. I was an only child, a girl, and it was like it didn't even occur to my dad to treat me any differently than a boy. He bought me toy trucks, enrolled me in little league, bought me science related toys (oddly, some people think science stuff is for boys). And when I got older, I came along to help with a few of his contractor jobs. I don't think I realized this until I was an adult. He's dead now, but it's one of the things I really appreciate about our time together. Whether or not your daughter turns out to be a tomboy, she'll appreciate that you didn't assume there were limits on things you'd have in common just b/c she's a girl.
[–]I_DRAPE_CATS 17 points18 points19 points 10 months ago
I feel like the only person who found this offensive... I'm not gonna feel bad about it, though.
[–]nekopete 9 points10 points11 points 10 months ago
People love a good joke about how much they hate women around here.
[–]throwaway123454321 19 points20 points21 points 10 months ago
Sex can't be determined by ultrasound until 16 weeks, 18 weeks is more realistic.
Either way, I laughed until I peed a little.
[–]BUfels 4 points5 points6 points 10 months ago
Your ability to rip off Sickipedia jokes is astounding.
[–]aazav 2 points3 points4 points 10 months ago
Abortions for all!
[–]zmartini 4 points5 points6 points 10 months ago
I understand. If you have a boy, you only have to worry about one penis. If you have a girl, you have to worry about all the penises.
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 10 months ago
you are obviously joking but it's really not funny.
sex selective abortions are a serious problem here in India
[–]JRowe3388 31 points32 points33 points 10 months ago
Am I the only one who thought this wasn't funny? It's not that it's offensive, it's just that it isn't funny. Is there something I'm missing?
[–]BritishHobo 20 points21 points22 points 10 months ago
Yeah, it's just nothing. The punchline is 'I don't want a daughter so I'll abort her if I'm gonna'? Why is this on the front page?
[–]poetryinthewater 13 points14 points15 points 10 months ago
because reddit loves to hate women.
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 10 months ago
Because "haha, you said something sexist!".
[–]arsenal7777 19 points20 points21 points 10 months ago
This was funny when I read it on Sickipedia a few days ago. Damn good jokes website.
[–]MpVpRb 42 points43 points44 points 10 months ago
Shitty attitude..even for a joke.
Unfortunately, people actually do this, especially in China.
Would you really want to live in a world where men vastly outnumbered women?
But, then again, maybe I'm just feeding the trolls.
[–]jessmoi 17 points18 points19 points 10 months ago
You are a dick. Hopefully you didn't curse yourself with a boy who is never to be......
Cheers!
[–]DistractedByCookies 15 points16 points17 points 10 months ago
So this post is copypasted from sickipedia, has blatant karma whoring and is not all that great a joke anyway...but is upvoted to front page? Is 4chan down or something? Are you all drunk this Friday night?
[–]ireland123 19 points20 points21 points 10 months ago
You could at least credit the place you stole it from.
sickipedia.org
[–]FapFappington 12 points13 points14 points 10 months ago
Because thats the only place that joke has ever been.
[–]uberalles2 16 points17 points18 points 10 months ago
That's disgusting.
[–]praisethefallen 21 points22 points23 points 10 months ago
Downvoting because I don't find it funny and feel that I would prefer to find less things like this on my front page. (aka, the legit reason to downvote)
[–]Halaku 4 points5 points6 points 10 months ago
This, with an extra helping of "Too lacking in quality to be at the top of my front page".
[–]SlimThugga 24 points25 points26 points 10 months ago
You're a giant asshole.
[–]tittotitt 21 points22 points23 points 10 months ago
Seriously GUYS, it's not THAT funny. I downvote the reddit community right now.
[–][deleted] 38 points39 points40 points 10 months ago
I don't really see how this is funny at all.
[–]candyoutlandish 32 points33 points34 points 10 months ago
Infanticide motivated by sexism! So hilarious.
[–]galateax 14 points15 points16 points 10 months ago
I can take a sexist joke pretty well, but this just isn't funny, nor is the posturing at the top about wanting to delete. It's either funny because of infanticide or because of a sexist concept of what his pregnant wife will do to him. It just is a tired play on old stereotypes rather than an amusing joke.
[–]BerkeleyStudent 8 points9 points10 points 10 months ago
Humorously tasteless.
[–]Concordiaa 9 points10 points11 points 10 months ago
I can't wait for your daughter to see this in 15 years.
[–]Thephan7om 2 points3 points4 points 10 months ago
You can't tell at 12 weeks
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 10 months ago
"All my friends are always telling me how hard it is to have kids. 'Oh, David, it's so hard.'
That's not hard.
I'll tell you what hard is.
Try talking your girlfriend into her third consecutive abortion. Yeah, that's hard, that takes finesse.
You’re just inconvenienced."
-David Cross
[–]DeSaad 2 points3 points4 points 10 months ago
dude, seriously, don't panic. Just stay off Reddit for two-three days and the post will eventually disappear. Find something else to do in the meantime.
[–]BoldTitan 18 points19 points20 points 10 months ago
What the hell is wrong with you, you sick fuck
[–]Darkersun 10 points11 points12 points 10 months ago
That's terrible.
[–]world_persona 20 points21 points22 points 10 months ago
You're an asshole whether or not this is a joke.
[–]mutatron 40 points41 points42 points 10 months ago
Upvoted, hoping it gets to the front page.
[–]xerosis 2 points3 points4 points 10 months ago
I'm sure I'm too late but I'm 100% sure this is a gag from a standup comedian, and therefore the op replies are bollocks.
[–]tjlazer 4 points5 points6 points 10 months ago
As a father of a daughter I find this relevant: http://youtu.be/RTrCBcrFMCI
[–]Azzyally 5 points6 points7 points 10 months ago
I realize this is a joke post, but how can you tell the sex at 12 weeks? My wife is pregnant and her OBGYN said the earliest it is possible to determine the gender is at 18 weeks.
[–]wowblufall 4 points5 points6 points 10 months ago
just so you know... people dont know the sex till a min of week 16 and even thats a little early. dick saying tho!
[–]TripperDay 15 points16 points17 points 10 months ago
I'm not sure how the scoring works, so I'm giving this an upvote along with every comment in this thread just in case it helps.
[–]cruzlee 14 points15 points16 points 10 months ago
I like to think about your daughter finding out about your disgusting sense of humor when she grows up. I'm glad you are not my father.
[–]24hourdelivery 42 points43 points44 points 10 months ago
LOL almost fell out of my chair. have an upvote
[–]ab26 8 points9 points10 points 10 months ago*
You need to grow up. You have a kid on the way.
EDIT: on, not in.
[–]Zipwang5555 21 points22 points23 points 10 months ago
I hate you for making me laugh just now.
[–]xbox666 16 points17 points18 points 10 months ago
and to the front page we go...
[–]pyowntown 13 points14 points15 points 10 months ago
I'm attempting to seal your doom with an upvote.
[–]shannonest 22 points23 points24 points 10 months ago
You're not funny, and this is why I don't like to leave 2X
[–]RightLibertarian 54 points55 points56 points 10 months ago
I upvoted this. Hopefully your wife will see it and divorce you. You don't deserve to carry on your genes.
[–][deleted] 9 points10 points11 points 10 months ago
Thats not the sort of thing a real libertarian would say.
[–]NerdyExploration 5 points6 points7 points 10 months ago
Troll IS A troll
[–]dick122 19 points20 points21 points 10 months ago
That's the funniest shit I've heard in a while. I would've been dismembered if I had made a comment like that when I was in your shoes.
[–]lotusonfire 5 points6 points7 points 10 months ago
You're evil.
[–]HazeySynth 7 points8 points9 points 10 months ago
Hahaha, almost as funny as when I read it on sickipedia last month. ಠ_ಠ
[–]Jordypop 13 points14 points15 points 10 months ago
Fuck you Asshole!
[–]lupussucks 9 points10 points11 points 10 months ago
You're an asshole.
[–]mosesonaquasar 12 points13 points14 points 10 months ago
Upvote for stupidity.
[–]PersonEveryman 4 points5 points6 points 10 months ago
Somebody lives in China!
[–]sagewah 2 points3 points4 points 10 months ago
So.. which one are you hoping for?
[–]VicinSea 4 points5 points6 points 10 months ago
My Mom used to say,"If you have a boy, you only need to worry about 1 penis. If you have a girl, you need to worry about all of them."
[–]NonstopWindex 13 points14 points15 points 10 months ago
Oh how I laughed and laughed, have an upvote!
[–]zer010gic 5 points6 points7 points 10 months ago
Buhahaha related http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110601202734AAHbnhS
[–]70x7 5 points6 points7 points 10 months ago
This is not Sickipedia
[–]Xjohnnymoex 4 points5 points6 points 10 months ago
I hope the child's first words are fuck you
all it takes is a username and password
create account
is it really that easy? only one way to find out...
already have an account and just want to login?
login
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