BBC Question - AIU? Are You Ugly?

seedywonder · 6 months

Well since you're a Brit we have to give a bit of support.

People instinctively judge each other by looks. It suggests that your offspring will be more likely to be successful speaking from an evolution POV. This is not something that will go away.
Its the only thing you have to go on before you meet someone so as long as people are judgmental, looks will always count
As looks will always count, in employment opportunities where presentation and first impressions are important, people who are deemed better looking will be more likely to be considered for the job. Of course competency will come into it too, eventually.
Being seem as ugly by society may be harmful socially but being ugly on the inside will help you lose friends much faster
Being beautiful can lead to shallow treatment by others who do not expect anything more from you than your looks. This can lead to individuals treated this way either becoming shallow too as a result or leaving them feeling they have something to prove
Being seen as ugly on the other hand also lead to a similar drive of ambition in life, the drive to gain the same kinds of opportunities that they see more beautiful people gaining
The media and marketing companies will never stop idolising the beautiful. Our instinct is drawn to sex. Beautiful people imply sex. Sex sells.
However all is not lost for the less aesthetically perfect people. Men and women alike are drawn to visible beauty at first but many eventually end up marrying those that they find more interesting, regardless of what they might perceive as beauty. I guess some may call this love.
Beauty means many different things in many different cultures. The spread of the western idea of beauty may be pervasive all over the world, but from person to person, you will find something different that they admire.

That's all I got. As for you OP, you're cute.

p0ison1vy · 6 months

It's clear that everyone, even unattractive people, act more favorably towards attractive people.

I see it happening all around me on a daily basis. For example, every single time there is a group of new-hires at my workplace, the objectively more attractive ones always become popular quickly, even if they're relatively more rude/abrasive in personality. Whereas the less so, regardless of how clever or nice they are, always have a more difficult time winning people over, and are more likely to be criticized and have their mistakes talked about. It holds true in high-school, and continues to hold true in many aspects of the adult world.

I find it funny that my close friend will tell me over and over how looks don't really matter and i'm shallow for having cosmetic surgery, and yet say things like "we should go to the bar and meet some cute guys". or talk about how hot so and so is.

People seem to have no idea that they do this, and I find that these same people would go on about how it's wrong to judge based on appearance, if you ask them. Perhaps most people don't make substantial judgements based on appearance, but definitely most people make small judgements, based simply on someone's facial structure.

People are so prejudiced against the unattractive, and yet are in such denial about it, I think probably because they know it's unfair, and they wouldn't want others to judge them on their physical flaws.

EmperorOfAwesome · 6 months

to be honest, this is a horrible place to ask. people on here talk shit on super attractive girls (probably because they are the ones that have been rejecting these guys their whole lives), and they boost up girls that are semi-attractive. now, there's nothing wrong with boosting someone, but the purpose of this subreddit is honesty, which there isn't much of

bracing for the inevitable downvotes for being honest

Parker2010 · 6 months

I think you're a very attractive person who just needs to improve their posture and smile more. You've got great features, you've just got to OWN it! :)

woahlookihaveapillow · 6 months

I've always thought that being judged about your looks was just a part of society. That being said, I also believe that being less than average is completely detrimental in your opportunities in life. For instance, I look around 14 or 15, but I am a 20 year old women. This means on a regular basis I have people telling me that I look at least five or six years younger than I actually am, though the most consistent guess is "twelve."

I believe that these things are extremely influential in society. If two people are applying for the same position, have the same credentials, even the same social skills but one is more physically attractive than the other, the physically attractive one wins out no matter what.

In addition, American society especially lives and breathes on the notion that you can make yourself better. You can exercise and lose weight to become more beautiful and healthy-- but there is very little talk about what can be done with a below average face. Makeup can't hide bad bone structure, misshapen eyes, thin lips, a crooked nose, etc. The only things that can change that are plastic surgery, but even that is frowned upon. What is looked up to most highly is natural beauty, which for a lot of people is impossible to obtain-- so you have a vicious cycle. Being average, in my opinion, is probably one of the worst fates you can have in America.

Lucent · 6 months

We're already judged on our looks every moment of our lives. It seems the point of this community is more to tease out in what direction and in what amount our appearance is skewing those interactions.

We already know if we're quickly liked or often thought creepy or whatever. What we want to know is how much of that is just due to the halo effect, positive or negative, and how much is due to the person we've actually become.

grant0 · 6 months

Yes, this post is moderator approved – Emma messaged us in advance. Please help her out, community!

DREwelsh · 6 months

I'd say the main problem with being unattractive is it's effect on a persons confidence. The majority of people may not care about your looks but the occasional person who does and makes it know can have a serious effect on how someone views them selves and in turn how they act in social situations. I'd also like to say that you are quite attractive but at the same time very approachable and that I am from the UK.

bbcemma · 6 months

You're cute, no worries. Best wishes with the show, that is if no one is exploited :)

Rocketbird · 6 months

So...what exactly is it that you're looking for from us? Stories? Or what?

lvhitch · 6 months

I think you are pretty. And I'm from the UK :)

buford419 · 6 months

You've got a good Scarletttt Johansssson thing going on in that last pic. Definitely not ugly. In short: i'd do you.

Melivora · 6 months

I'm from the UK - I think you look plain with the longer hair, but not offensive at all. The girlier, more recent look is much more attractive. You suit the short hair, which a lot of people can't pull off.
Needs more mascara in my opinion, everyone looks better with mascara.

Also, to answer your last question - I think on a personal basis you don't get judged too harshly on looks. We'd all be mates with an uggo if they were sound. It's strangers we judge, and who judge us. I'd rather talk to a pretty person, that's just how it is.
I think it's a good thing in a way, as we're encouraged by society to look after ourselves, wash our hair etc. Obviously, some people take it too far, but mostly I'm glad for the peer pressure to wear make up, if only because I like feeling good about myself when I catch sight of myself in a uni mirror.

ediciusNJ · 6 months

I feel like I'm being judged on my looks daily and I always subconsciously feel like the judgments must be negative. I've never really been comfortable with how I look, even if I'm given positive feedback (and I'm always suspicious of the positive feedback anyway).

Of course, reciprocally, I do the same to others even if I don't mean to, so I suppose it's only fair. I don't think I'm as harsh as some might be (I like a girl with meat on her bones, can really appreciate the "Plain Janes" out there, etc.) but there are always certain traits that will make me judge someone totally irrationally (NASCAR shirt? You must be an idiot redneck. Stain on your shirt? You're sloppy and nasty and probably smell bad. Indian with a mustache? You look ridiculous. And so on.)

Your pics? Definitely pretty in my opinion. Are you a little plain? Sure (and really just in the last picture), but that's not always a bad thing. Means you can blend into the crowd a little better and people will end up liking you for you and not some fake eyelashes or something. The first pic is my favorite - I think you look the cutest in that one, plus it doesn't hurt that I have an affinity for big blue Police Boxes. :D

itsashotinthedark · 6 months

Real life ugly guy here. Not UK though sorry. All I've got to say is there is no way to not know if you are ugly.

JSmith666 · 6 months

i will say what is considered beautiful varies from person to person. however people will always favor those THEY find attractive and as much as people will shy away from admitting it looks do play a heavy role in relationships. a perfect example will be yourself. your a good looking person. i know nothing about your personality yet i would still consider asking you out.

bbcemma · 6 months

Did anyone else read the title as "Big Black Cock Question"? I was kinda reluctant to click on this one :\

sickbiancab · 6 months

I turned 30 a couple months ago. While I know this in no way signifies the end of my life or anything, as a female I'm trying to deal (in my mind) with the fact that I'm no longer a "cute young girl." it's not like I'm feeling as if my life has no purpose anymore, but it feels different being older and more mature in my appearance and I am no longer judged solely on my looks---or at least not positively anymore, I guess. It's a weird thing. Wait till youre 30!

bbcemma · 6 months

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bloopee · 6 months

You are pretty. Maybe moreso because you're happiness and energy show through your pictures.

People like pretty people. If people are with pretty people, they are expressing to other people, "HEY I am pretty enough to be around pretty people such as this!" Or "HEY, I may not be as good looking, but I have worth in other valuable areas to be associated with this pretty person!"

And on the inverse, if you are considered pretty, people who are also pretty or have worth (which is a variable and subjective term [like artists? Leaders? Smart people? etc]) will want to be around you.

That is how physical appearance plays in to "discrimination" or at least how groups use preferential treatment in regards to "attractive" people and not as attractive people

bbcemma · 6 months

You're pretty cute (the good cute mind you)..especially in the last picture

conrad141 · 6 months

You are very beautiful. I think the shape of your face would be complemented by short hair, so maybe look into that.

njactor · 6 months

Maybe I'm in the minority, but I like you better with longer hair. Either way, you're very pretty.

BigDreZ28 · 6 months

I like you for the mere chance of you having a British accent. And then you look good too. Irresistible.

gregbo · 6 months

I'm from the US. Yes, you're super cute. Yes, I would love to hear you speak! Can't really add anything about lookism from an ugly/pretty point of view, but could add stuff about reactions/first impressions based on race.

SpikedYum · 6 months

I would say 7/10 You look great!

processcrash · 6 months

Just wanted to say that you look perfect!

bporter84 · 6 months

Tell the BBC bporter84 said he would smash

bigbadbyte · 6 months

*The bigbadbyte bang-o-meter *

Rank	Evaluation
0	Last two people on Earth? So long human race
1	If it was for charity or to cure a disease
2	If I was drunk or horny
3	Sure, why not
4	I'd go out of my way
5	I can't believe you'd let me

You look best in the 1st photo. I think in the last one you look kind of mean.

As for your BBC thing, I'm sorry that a man as classically good looking as this can't be of more help.

emity · 6 months

Any anthropologist will tell you how and why good looking people have it easier in life. It's not even worth discussing anymore, it's just a given.

Thats why I tend not to be interested in beautiful people. More often than not they've had it easy, don't know how hard it is to get by on brains alone, and haven't got the strength to walk talk through hard times in life. Do a show on that :-P how our predilection for good looking people turned humankind into a sludge of entitled, lazy, snivelling pretty people.

bbcemma · 6 months

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