What were some of your childhood beliefs or misunderstandings about the world that made perfect sense at the time?

translucent · 3 months

I thought "drugs" looked like candy and were taken by eating them.

So I had it worked out in my mind that if a drug dealer ever approached me in an alley and offered me drugs*, I could just sneakily switch them with some candy I'd have in my pocket. Then I could eat the candy and pretend I liked drugs to get the drug dealer to leave me alone.

Additionally, I could then take the real drugs and go, "Wow, drugs are way better than candy! Candy sucks!" and then throw them on the ground and step on them. The drug dealer would think I was rejecting candy and never going back, but little would he know I was actually crushing the drugs he gave me.

*From reading anti-drug comic books they passed out in the fourth grade, this is what I thought drug dealers did, approach school kids in alleys.

schroddie · 3 months

In movies, if a character appears both when young and when they are old (like there's a flashback, or whathaveyou), they filmed the parts when they were young first and then waited until the kid grew up to film the rest of the movie with the same actor at the desired age.

warped_reality · 3 months

I thought people randomly got pregnant if they slept beside a member of the opposite sex too long. I thought that was what "slept with" meant. It made sense to me at the time because people would often be surprised when they got knocked up. And then I learned what really happens...

evenstarwen · 3 months

I thought I could grow rainbows by planting crayons in the ground. My mother was surprised to do her gardening one day and find Crayola sticks buried among her lily bulbs.

penismongerIII · 3 months

When I was little, my greatest fear when flying was not that the plane would crash, but that we'd go to high and accidentally go into space. Then, we'd suffocate because there's no air in space.

tuxcat · 3 months

Checks created money. "What do you mean we can't afford it? Write a check!"

johnnytightlips2 · 3 months

I used to think that adults had a special kind of beer, different from what they let me taste, and they would let me take a sip of the disgusting batch to put me off ever drinking it

djdalek · 3 months

I used to believe that if I purchased a product I saw/heard advertised on tv/radio, then they would stop advertising it to me. In retrospect, anyone who could figure out how to do this would be mega-rich.

MoosebarPrime · 3 months

I used to think that in movies, when people died, someone was actually sacrificed to create that shot. Of course, it was never the actor himself, because I'd see them in different films. I thought they just substituted an elderly person, who was close to dying anyway, and film him/her falling to their deaths, dressed as the character scripted to die.

I HAD IT ALL FIGURED OUT IN MY HEAD.

My dad just looked at me weird when I told him that I "knew how they did that stuff."

EDIT: I accidentally a word.

hannahalexia · 3 months

When I was two or three I overheard my grandmother say to my grandfather "If you keep eating so much pork it'll kill you." I interpreted this as pork products = death to my family, and refused to eat any pork product from then on.

Willie_Main · 3 months

I used to think:

-I was an enormous robot and there were smaller people inside me controlling every aspect of my life.

-Only cool people could wear sunglasses and jean jackets.

-I would be in school for the rest of my life and it was my job, in the same way my parents had jobs.

-Dogs could talk and mine just didn't have a lot to say.

-I could shit in urinals. I never actually did it but I thought about it every time.

Prufork · 3 months

When I was 3 or 4, I thought that a spanking entailed dressing up like ninjas and having a sword fight to the death. Since I definitely did not want to die, whenever my mum would threaten to spank me, I'd freak out.

Fidgexo · 3 months

That my dad had done EVERYTHING. I used to ask him questions about when he went to the moon and stuff and thought he was being secretive when he replied with that he didn't know.

funkster · 3 months

The "dont drink and drive" campaign was big at the time and I thought it just meant not to drink any kind of liquid since it could be distracting.

HerpingtonDerpDerp · 3 months

Apparently I was a pretty smart cookie; the only misconception that comes to mind is water towers. I used to think that they were a town's emergency supply of water.

imhugeinjapantz · 3 months

I used to believe that people in positions of authority had some idea of what the fuck they were doing.

vnads · 3 months

I used to think that there were certain people with huge shoulders. They were the ones that got to be football players.

cbear3000 · 3 months

Bin men have the best jobs, as they only have to work one day a week.

TheBoxTalks · 3 months

I thought a "sewage plant" was a huge plant that ate poop--sort of like the plant in Little Shop of Horrors.

Allisgoodandright · 3 months

I think we can all agree that traffic lights are operated by midgets.

KaidenUmara · 3 months

i thought girls pissed from their butts

CaptainNoBoat · 3 months

I used to think movie theater screens were massive televisions. The abundant amount of information concerning where fire exits are allowed me to believe that these TVs would often catch on fire/explode.

TheDandyLion · 3 months

I thought "grounded" meant being buried alive. My parents used grounding as a form of punishment but never called it that (being not native speakers of english) so when my cousin was babysitting me and she used that word as a threat, I started screaming hysterically (to her surprise).

Moultese · 3 months

When I was 8, I moved from Canada to Kentucky. I was really stupid, so I was convinced that every building was made of fried chicken.

argonnn · 3 months

Dogs are boys, cats are girls.

the_new_me · 3 months

You're born a kid or an adult...

bumblebeeyatch · 3 months

I thought we lived inside the earth. I had always been told the earth is round so I believed that but, my eyes could see that, obviously, it was also flat. So to reconcile the two ideas I surmised that the earth itself was more like a bubble or a shell that encased the flat plain that we walked around on.

shyguy95 · 3 months

I did not know hanging broke someone's neck. I thought that, instead, it slowly ripped their body apart from their head.

Plznotspam · 3 months

When playing Mario I always moved my hands with the controler in the direction of the jump, you know just to make it across the hole. Made perfect sense to move the controler.

enginerd11 · 3 months

Santa carried every toy in that one sack. I didn't understand it but I believed it.

its_an_illusion · 3 months

Canadians were from Canadia

(Since Americans were from America)

bot0004 · 3 months

That black people were all criminals.

IAmRyanGosling · 3 months

I used to believe movies at movie theatres actually had the actors behind the screen, acting the whole thing out over and over again.

TS_Garp · 3 months

I used to think that airplanes got smaller and somehow that allowed them to travel must faster. My first time on a plane, I was disappointed that I couldn't feel the shrinking sensation as we took off.

keekdasneak · 3 months

Growing up watching way too many movies at my dad's video store, I thought the world pre-1960s was in black and white, just like I saw in the films.

I remember constantly asking my dad how it was when God first gave them color when he was my age

ass_munch_reborn · 3 months

I thought, when going to another country, you needed a Visa, as in the credit card.

I was like, why do we need credit cards to travel? Why Visa? Why not MasterCard?

Serial Killer? I only heard it on the news - never saw it spelled. So, I just thought it was someone who poisoned cereal. I wondered why there were so many murderers killing in one very, specific way .

My friend thought that all movies were in color, but over time, the films degraded to black and white. That's why all old films were in black and white. He would ask his dad, "hey, dad, what was this movie like in color?"

blueskysiii · 3 months

My grandmother was always talking about going to Miami. I asked her if I could you to Yourami with her.

SpuneDagr · 3 months

At a construction site, when the workers dig a big hole for the building's foundation, there is a big pile of dirt left over. I used to think the hole wasn't important and they sculpted the dirt into a building.

Why else would there be an enormous pile of dirt?

StewieBanana · 3 months

I thought dogs were deaf because they never answered when I talked to them.

Dakster11 · 3 months

I used to believe that teachers were semi-supernatural, all-knowing beings. Now I realize they know about as much as the rest of us.

tboner6969 · 3 months

when i was in first grade i overheard two girls talking about how a teacher wasn't in for the day because his car was "broken in two." i thought to myself, no way jose, cars don't just break in half. then i heard a different teacher address the class, corroborating the girl's story heard earlier. motherofgod.jpg and i was instantly concerned that my family's car could somehow break in half.

only years later did i realize that the girl misspoke and the teachers 'corroboration' was me mishearing that the car was 'broken in to' by someone to steal stuff inside.

ohsnipsnap · 3 months

I used to think that if I sold something on the side of the street I would be rich. I had so many failed business plans. One was a carnival game where you would stand three feet away and try to throw pennies into something, it was too easy and people were making money off of me. So I decided to sell "flower hair bows." Which were made from my neighbors fresh flowers. I remember a man wearing a business suit walked by once and gave me a 10$ bill and told me to have them ready the next day. I tried my hardest to make those hair bows, but I couldn't figure out a way to do it while keeping the flowers in tact. The man never came back anyway.

Jackpot777 · 3 months

I wento to school in England, and when semesters ("terms") end, the commonly used phrase is that "school is breaking up for the holiday". "Breaking up".

I thought the school disintegrated, and was rebuilt. That's what kept builders employed, and explained why we needed to stay away from school for an extended period of time.

MarlovianDiscosophia · 3 months

I thought all dogs were male and all cats were female and that they were the same species. In spite of the fact that I had a female dog as a little child...

TL;DR Children are stupid

jamescalderwood · 3 months

I thought you only grew on your birthday.

Cerevus · 3 months

I once said "slut" when i was like 10 and my mom asked where i heard that. I said " i just made it up." She said "its when a woman sleeps with alot of men". So i just imagined a girl laying in bed with 5 or 6 guys just laying everywhere.

etothepowerofipi · 3 months

B+down

nastybacon · 3 months

Friend of mine had a superman outfit. I thought he'd be able to fly with it. So I pushed him off a bridge.... ok no I didn't. But I always thought he was being a bit of a jackass by not showing us that he could fly!!

kangorr · 3 months

I used to think that wind was trees sneezing

Station1337 · 3 months

That "your" car was your car and nobody else could drive it. Not that it was stealing the car, just that nobody else had the ability to drive YOUR car. I remember my grandpa was visiting and he drove my dads car to the store and I was just so confused on how he had the ability to drive my dads car.

stralala · 3 months

When I was a kid, I would usually over hear my parents complaining about their jobs and my dad would always tell my mom to "go to HR and talk to them about it."

I knew about H&R, the company that does your taxes because they always run commercials during tax season. So I thought H&R was a magical company that dealt with all of your problems for you and tried to make you happy.

ceanders · 3 months

used to think people from other nations who spoke other languages would translate into English in their head. like they'd hear something in French and internally be like, "oh, that means _______" in English.

IAmRyanGosling · 3 months

When my dad was talking with my brother about Canadian politics, I asked him what "Liberals" meant.
He jokingly said, "Liars." And I believed that for many years.

snackburros · 3 months

Before I moved to America, I thought America was a land full of drugs, sex, robberies, guns, and all action movies are basically documentaries.

postal83 · 3 months

I thought the reflector bumps on the road were so blind people could drive. But that's because my Dad told me that...

ThugAimer · 3 months

When i was real little i thought boobs were a womens nipple. until i saw titanic for the first time and was very confused that there was a nipple on top of her nipples.

BettingPoland · 3 months

I grew up quite poor, and never really having enough is what most likely made my little brain think this up

I could not understand why there was money. Why couldn't you just get the things you needed for free, and you did your job with out pay, but everyone dose it so everyone is happy.

Without the need for money to buy things, you would not suffer. My mother could never satisfy my questions of why the world was not this way.

coronalmassejection · 3 months

My friend told me his Dad made $15.00 per hour; I thought it was awfully disruptive to have to go to the boss to get your $15 every hour.

LiveInTheSun · 3 months

A boy in my elementary school didn't know girls could poop. He had only ever heard his mom say she had to pee and didn't believe me when I told him I had to poop. He was in the third grade when he told me this.

DJToastyBuns · 3 months

Try to keep this between us, reddit. First time I went on the Internet, maybe 8 years old, I ran and got my mom because I was sure that we had just won a new sports car, and there was only 5 minutes left to claim it.

atticus138 · 3 months

Santa Claus. Seemed legit at one time.

catchmeifyoucant · 3 months

My dad explained the stock markets like this:

A bunch of old fat white men and a bunch of old bearded white men get together and decide what the stock should be worth.

While, an extremely simple explanation - its generally correct.

MrAkai · 3 months

There was a topless bar on street that led to the local skating rink. I always wondered why you would want a bar without a ceiling....

WhenTheBitchesHearIt · 3 months

I thought turning the television off would pause the program at that point, and when I came back later it would resume where I left off.

Always thought somebody turned the TV back on and changed the channel when I cam back and it was a different program.

tawkwin · 3 months

When I was really small I used to think that there were little people inside speakers that would sing and play the songs live every time. I always wondered what they did during the 99% of the time that I wasn't listening to them sing.

stroke_your_beard · 3 months

It wasn't until I was 10 or 11 I realised that my family argued and bitched all the time about each other, and that my Aunt was mentally ill.

It was a simpler, happier time where everyone loved each other

namesurnn · 3 months

Well, my name is Erinn, and I used to think when people said "I have to go run some errands" that they meant they were coming for me and all the other Erin/n's out there to gather us up into a huge pile and run us over.

vanillaaaa · 3 months

I thought that war was more like the game stratego than actual war, meaning each army had a side of a giant field. The generals (who were more like refs) would meet and decide, "Ok, we'll fight at this time for this long."

teeksteeks · 3 months

I used to think the moon only can't out at night. When I started to notice it during the day I was astonished. Everytime I saw the moon during the day I didn't understand how or why.

Sillymusicvegetable · 3 months

I thought zebras and giraffes mated and that all giraffes were girls and all zebras were boys. Therefore instead of a weird mixed looking "Zebraffe" baby the girl babies from these romances were always born Giraffes and Zebras were the boys. I have no earthly idea what gave me this notion and was quite devastated when I learned that was in no way the case.

hernondo · 3 months

When I was very young, around 4, someone had come to our door asking for donations to help "purple" people, or so I thought they said. My mom didn't want to help, and my thought at the time is that it sounded horrible to be purple. Years later I finally realized they had asked to help crippled people.

theslowwonder · 3 months

As a kid dragged to church three times a week, I believed anything adults disapproved of was sinful. My mom, being a neat-freak wouldn't let me eat Nerds candy in the house, so I judged every kid I knew that ate them as hell bound.

BrendenShopp · 3 months

I used to think movies were filmed right behind the big screen as a child at the cinema...

Pabrunthhu · 3 months

Used to think exhaust pipes were like rocket thrusters and when you had more exhaust pipes you had a faster car. Thought the engines just made exhaust to propel the car and it just rolled on the wheels

sik165 · 3 months

Oldtimers Disease = Alzheimer's Disease

kayelhch · 3 months

I was convinced that you weren't dead if your eyes were still open. I told myself I would never die because I just wouldn't close my eyes. I was very unsure of how no one else had caught onto this.

virtu333 · 3 months

That mashing B and A after throwing the pokeball increased the success rate.

math y u ruin everything???

SheriffCreepy · 3 months

When I was a kid we'd go on camping trips...this was, oh, early/mid-80's. On these trips, my Dad would buy tabloids which, very often, advertised Elvis was alive somewhere. Right next to a Bigfoot or Vampire story. So, in my mind, I decided Elvis was a monster that stalked the woods at night.

Finally, one evening, I had to use the bathroom. Dad grumbled that I could go to a tree on my own. I started crying that "He'd get me" and refused to leave.

Dad asked, "Who'll get you?"

I sobbed, "The Elvis! He only comes out at night!"

So...yeah. TL;DR: I thought Elvis stalked forests at night to kill people.

bobbieluvsya · 3 months

I was convinced my dad invented cheeseburgers.

When I was really little, he was making hamburgers and thought aloud, "Hey, we have some cheese in the fridge, let's put that on there!" So he did, and Dad suddenly became a genius in my eyes.

DurpyDurr · 3 months

I believed I was the best gamer in the world. As a 7 year old, there was nothing better than beating your younger brothers at a game of pokemon stadium due to your advanced knowledge on complex pokemon types and movesets.

With that being said, it was only when I reached my teens that I realised it was much easier to catch a ghastly in the sprout tower at night time in pokemon gold.

I got served a hard blow to my ego that day...

makesan · 3 months

I also used to thinnk a boy could tuck in his "willy" to make a vagina and a girl could "untuck" her vagina to be a boy. I used to think there was noone in the world thats single, i thought all adults in the world were married except my aunty! LOL

EveryNameIWantIsGone · 3 months

I used to think that windmills made wind, like really large fans. As in, if there were no windmills there wouldn't be any wind.

perfectnumber628 · 3 months

I remember when I was about 5 years old, moving to a different house, convinced that now that we had a new house, I would obviously have a different favorite color. And then if we moved again in the future, I would pick a new favorite color.

Every time you move, your favorite color changes. Clearly.

IAmDownvoter · 3 months

that the world was a nice place

truesound · 3 months

That being a good person would be rewarding. That honesty would be respected. That ambition would be met with opportunity.

Butter_sc0tch · 3 months

That if two cars were traveling at the same speed, and one was in front of the other, the car that was behind would catch up to the car in front until they were side by side at which point they would stay side by side.

eisforennui · 3 months

i used to think that working hard would get you somewhere. instead, it just gets you in trouble for assuming that other people work as hard as you do and/or care.

Born2BGinger · 3 months

As a child, I lived in this cool blue house that had a balcony-esque ledge that you could get onto by door, I used to crawl up there all the time, and for a very long time I was fascinated by this pipe that when I went back inside, seemed to lead nowhere and I would sit and just look at it wondering if id discovered some secret room, (but here's the twist) I move away then when I thought about it later, it turned out to be the pipe that leads up from your sewage to keep it from backing up x_x

leumas9 · 3 months

That because my Dad is rich I would be rich as well. How wrong I was.

makesan · 3 months

I used to think if you bought something online they delivered it to your door and THEN you would pay them!

SomeJazzyRat · 3 months

That everyone on earth started out as babies that spontaniously appeared in the middle of the street. While I was not the first generation, nor even my parents, but there was a first one. And they all appeared spontaniously, without anyone to take care of them. Note the all came to be with houses and everything all built already. I don't know how they survived, or how they decided who would get what home, but they eventually grew up to take care of other babies, and so on until my parents were born, and then I was.

asuatc · 3 months

When I was really young, my parents took me with them to Paris. I spoke French at the time but for some reason, I just assumed everyone knew English everywhere. So they took me to this awesome department store (Galleries Lafayette for those who know Paris) and I went to the toy level. I started playing with this random display and other kids were around. I rattled off a greeting and introduction to this little boy who was around my age in English. He looked at me like I had 5 heads and had smacked him in the face and ran off. When I told my mom what happened, she laughed and explained it to me.

iceman2663 · 3 months

I couldn't grasp the concept of how a capitalistic economy worked. I always thought it would be so much easier if everyone on Earth agreed to abandon all forms of currency, share raw materials for free, do things for each other out of the kindness of their hearts, and take whatever they want because someone else would just reproduce it.

laktykopie · 3 months

Bloodbath: Someone killing lots of people and, well, taking a bath in their blood after they bled to death. I couldn't believe how casually they said the word on the radio.

osmark · 3 months

I was a free-spirit as a little kid who had no regards to parental authority. My mother told me that she gave me my balls, and if I don't listen to her, she can take them away from me at anytime.

jmulder79 · 3 months

I used to think Superman could fly because of the 'magical' abilities of his cape. Imagine my dismay when I strapped on the cool cape my mom made for me, climbed on top of the blue Buick in the driveway, and leaped to assured injury...

jroc08 · 3 months

I used to think that my heart and lungs were connected to my eyes, and when i slept they stopped working, and start again when i opened my eyes in the morning.

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