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[–]xamomax 94 points95 points ago

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  • Girls get just as nervous on dates as guys do, so instead of concentrating on "being cool" or "impressive", work on making her feel as comfortable and secure as possible. This will make you feel way less nervous, and she will like you for it.
  • You are not as ugly as you think you are.
  • Understand nutrition
  • Don't trust what you see on TV
  • Invest money early on, and consistently (preferably automatically from your paychecks). A cool car in your 20's is not nearly as cool as an awesome house in your 30's.
  • Continuously educate yourself
  • Adolescence can hit you in your twenties - you are lucky if it hit you before you turned 18.
  • Finish school. Get a degree in something you find fun.

[–]champagne_666 26 points27 points ago

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I would just like to re-iterate the part about girls being nervous on dates. As a young woman, I was so nervous around men I would practically tremble.

[–]LarrySDonald 20 points21 points ago

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In addition, women are in fact hitting on you all the time. They're being super subtle about it so you won't notice. Yes, I know, it seems counterproductive, but that's how it is. You'll notice later when there's no point noticing, so it's better to start trying to notice early.

[–]BeAReflectiveThinker 7 points8 points ago

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How about telling us what to look for?

[–]carrollr 12 points13 points ago

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Tell a bad joke.. if she laughs, you're golden.

[–]BeAReflectiveThinker 6 points7 points ago

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Are you fucking kidding me? If what you say is true I've passed up SO MANY opportunities in my life!

[–]carrollr 1 point2 points ago

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Well, I should say that I'm not an "old" redditor. I believe that you're only as old as the bottom you're feeling!

However if she's taking an interest in you as a person, or she always seems to be beside you, shoulder to shoulder, you should probably re-think your friendship :)

It's only recently I actually began to notice that a lot of girls around me were actually interested...

[–]outsideitude 5 points6 points ago

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If I might add to this, I think this has to do with growing more comfortable with ones self with time. Before I realized confidence (my teens and early 20's), I was obsessed with how people may be judging me and not paying attention. Now I'm fully aware of how awesome I am and it gives me not only more time to notice other people and their subtleties, but girls love a guy whose comfortable with themselves.

[–]penkfiddle 1 point2 points ago

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There is nothing sexier than a guy who is secure with himself. They're like magnets; they draw you in.

[–]rodya255 2 points3 points ago

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man, I hate how they do that. I am completely OBLIVIOUS to it to this day. I only notice it when my friends that are girls tell me, "Wow, she was hitting on you." and I reply like a jack-ass "Really? I thought she was just being nice." I wish, I could learn to watch for this.

Any help from female redditors?

[–]asdfman123 11 points12 points ago

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so instead of concentrating on "being cool" or "impressive", work on making her feel as comfortable and secure as possible.

Also, I feel that you can impress women the most by not trying to impress them and just being comfortable with yourself.

[–]m4ttwr1ght 1 point2 points ago

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fantastic points, I agree

[–]donwilson 1 point2 points ago

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Can you explain the adolescence part a little?

[–]Angry_Caveman_Lawyer 40 points41 points ago

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No one besides yourself can make you feel anything. If someone affects you, it's because you let them.

People always take this in a negative light, but that's not the case.

You control you, no one else does.

[–]kachapati 1 point2 points ago

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I like to say, "There are no victims, only volunteers."

[–]thekadar81 37 points38 points ago

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"Nothing good lasts, nothing bad lasts. The only thing constant is change." Best advice I ever had. Thanks Grandpa.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]NerdBot9000 22 points23 points ago

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My dad calls this "Fuck You" money.

[–]gwbushsr 4 points5 points ago

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"Fuck You" money is the best kind of money. Even if I am living very poor, I've always got enough "Fuck You" money hidden away. It's the most important money. Your dad is very wise.

[–]LogicalTime 1 point2 points ago

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so all derivatives higher than the first equal zero? That can't be right...

[–]kat_fud 34 points35 points ago

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Start preparing for retirement now. Take care of your teeth.

[–]PhishGreenLantern 15 points16 points ago

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floss

[–]froggacuda 8 points9 points ago

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And wear sunscreen. All that Baz Luhrman shit.

Seriously, I came in here because I saw "old Redditors". I'm 39.

Here's a little piece of advice I use daily: think THRICE. Something about thinking it through three times helps me gain perspective, even over "think twice".

[–]asdjfsjhfkdjs 6 points7 points ago

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Some people still need to learn "think once"...

[–]dvs 5 points6 points ago

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Take care of your teeth.

Ignore this at your own peril. Also, no matter how convinced the orthodontist is in telling you your wisdom teeth are coming in straight and you won't have to have them pulled, get a second opinion.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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Good advice. Also, if a doc says they need to come out, get a second opinion. I regret getting my uppers out, having later found out from a different doc that I didn't need to. I've lost valuable chewing surface area because a dentist wanted more insurance money.

[–]genida 1 point2 points ago

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True.

Remember, anyone, that you only need to take care of the teeth you want to keep. If you don't, they'll oblige you and go away slowly while torturing you all the same.

[–]p4nda 139 points140 points ago

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When you passionately disagree with someone, it's easy to feel like they're simply wrong. Maybe even stupid. In fact, most of the time, they simply have a different perspective that's just as legitimate and defensible as your own. If you adopt their perspective, temporarily, experimentally, you've lost nothing, and gained understanding of them. You may even find yourself changing your mind, and that's fine, too. Sticking to your guns is stupid.

[–]asdfman123 50 points51 points ago

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Hivemind, take note.

[–]techdawg667 61 points62 points ago

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NO >:(

[–]clicksnd 4 points5 points ago

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Harumph!

[–]JoseCanseco 6 points7 points ago

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More importantly than this (not to belittle your point, but I think it's difficult for most people to temporarily set aside their world view and take on another) it's not worth your time or energy arguing politics/religion/whatever.

I've been in numerous debates on religion and politics and have never come away feeling as though it was worth while. Even when it was kept civil it never seemed like I gained anything positive aside from learning that person's take on the subject.

Since I was a kid I've been a born debater (mass, mostly) so I would take any opportunity to show someone how wrong their opinion was, thinking that if I just worded it well they'd get it and become one of my minions.

It's really not worth it. Live and let live.

[–]ShawnGupta 1 point2 points ago

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Since I was a kid I've been a born debater (mass, mostly) so I would take any opportunity to show someone how wrong their opinion was, thinking that if I just worded it well they'd get it and become one of my minions.

How do you have friends?

[–]gwbushsr 1 point2 points ago

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Are you from MA (ie Mass, the old way of writing it) or are you talking about debating religion in an actual mass, like in a church? I see your point, but am confused there.

[–]PersonOfInternets 8 points9 points ago

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Cognitive dissonance is the killer of intellectual progress.

[–]AllTattedUpJay 2 points3 points ago

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I feel this way when I see someone in any sort of religious garb (as its the only thing that stands out about someones belief). I was raised Catholic btw. Although, I now consider myself an atheist.

[–]synthaxx 23 points24 points ago

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That old(er) people generally don't have a clue either.

But when they do, you listen.

[–]asdfman123 11 points12 points ago

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What do you know, geezer?

[–]zeno 20 points21 points ago

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  • Stop going to bars and drinking your money away. They're terrible places to socialize and to meet women.

  • Take up social dancing (Salsa, Tango, Swing) and women will flock to you

  • Travel outside the country before your life becomes more and more settled (long term relationship, mortgage, your career progression)

  • Get as educated as possible as early as possible.

[–]popayesailor 43 points44 points ago

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There's Character and Reputation, never sacrifice your character and don't concern yourself with reputation. Your the only one that controls your character and have no control over your reputation.

[–]thornae 18 points19 points ago

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Upvote for paraphrasing one of my favourite Vorkosigan quotes, to wit: "Reputation is what other people know about you. Honour is what you know about yourself."

I've already paraphrased my other favourite quote elsewhere in this thread.

[–]frenchpear 1 point2 points ago

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Wow, great advice!

[–]thornae 17 points18 points ago*

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When you're going through shit times... keep going.

No matter how bad it gets, keep going. It may take a fucking long time, but eventually, it will get better.

(And really, if you don't keep going, how will you ever know what happened?)

Edit: Also, Futuaris nisi irrisus ridebis de recta non tolerandum sunt.

[–]TheCannon 94 points95 points ago

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To not take it too seriously, ever.

[–]rysten6498 24 points25 points ago

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I'm 21 and I have always applied this to my life. Glad to know I've been doing the right thing

[–]hadioread 37 points38 points ago

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Don't get married and don't have kids until you have absolutely lived a good portion of your life. Serious.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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More to the point: Don't have children until you can't think of anything you'd ever want to do that's fun.

[–]Inappropriate_Remark 4 points5 points ago

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What if our fun...involves children?

[–]carrollr 2 points3 points ago

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Then you should move to Belgium

[–]fishingman 2 points3 points ago

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I disagree. Having a child was and is the greatest experience of my life. Challenging yes, sometimes hard, but easily the best.

[–]windynights 40 points41 points ago

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I wish I'd started earlier on the simple maxim: Pay yourself first. Set aside 10% of your income and don't touch it. It's amazing what you'll have by the time you're fifty. Freedom means a helluva lot more when you can also afford to enjoy it.

[–]jackscolon65 20 points21 points ago

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Freedom isn't free!

[–]tankerraid 12 points13 points ago

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If you don't pay your buck o'five, who will?

[–]40_lb 6 points7 points ago

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Freedom costs a buck ooooooooo'five!

[–]Anticitizen_One 3 points4 points ago

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Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose.

[–]Atmonauti 7 points8 points ago

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Nothin' ain't worth nothin' but it's free

[–]SputnikKore 1 point2 points ago

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What do you do with the other 90%?

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points ago

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2 girls at the same time man

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I rally would like to start saving as I know it is key to later on in life. It is just really difficult since I don't make that much being a graduate and in my first real job. I've also just had a kid so there is all the expenses that go with her. I guess I just need to budget and actually stick to it.

[–]buzzbattlecat 15 points16 points ago

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You need to get out of your comfort zone to grow. Keep learning.

Don't draw your boundaries small- its a big world.

Choose your choices (ie when you choose a path in life, don't live half-heartedly, throw yourself in and do your best) or make another choice.

Holding onto grudges, resentment and anger just hurts you: learn and let go.

Spend time out in wild places- go hiking, camping, whatever you can. Good for the soul.

Also these deserve a read, very good stuff.

[–]wethrgirl 1 point2 points ago

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All of these suggestions have really held true in my life. Letting go of resentment and anger has especially helped my life be a happy one.

[–]gamedude999 15 points16 points ago

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Take more risks because life is even shorter than you think.

[–]PhishGreenLantern 4 points5 points ago

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I'm 31 and I find this to be bearing down on me. The years pass faster and faster and I know I'm going to wake up one day and realize how much has passed. It happens now and I say "15 years ago"... what will that be like when I say "35 years ago"?

[–]InterPunct 8 points9 points ago

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... what will that be like when I say "35 years ago"?

You will feel identically to the way you feel right now. Make long-term decisions today as if you will benefit from them now. Since thirty-five years from today will feel the same as now, you'll be much better off for having thought long-term those many years ago.

[–][deleted] 31 points32 points ago

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I'm not old (34), so I don't know how much merit my advice has, but...

I'm noticing that a lot of people are giving you advice about money, and that's good, but I would add: Treat people fairly. Most of the regret that I carry is from times that I didn't treat people with the same respect that I would expect (Golden Rule and all that...) For me, all of these times also correspond with times that I drank too much, so my second piece of advice is: Everything in moderation.

[–]Kyusu 21 points22 points ago

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I'm not old (34)

Yeah, just keep telling yourself that... I do...

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points ago

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My daughter asked me the other day if I was in my 50s. :)

[–]frenchpear 10 points11 points ago

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Mine asked me if animals were invented yet, when I was a little girl. :/

[–]KrakNup 9 points10 points ago

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My niece asked me what it was like to fight dinosaurs.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points ago

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Well, what was it like?

[–]aricene 3 points4 points ago

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We didn't fight them! We forced them into demeaning domestic service, Flintstones-style.

Or, as we called it back in the day, stylee.

[–]genida 1 point2 points ago

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Jesus?

[–]hakuna_matata77[S] 3 points4 points ago

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hey man thanks I like this advice a lot. Can you give an example of not treating people well? I mean in what respect? Just in the way or talking? You mean people you know, don't know? I will keep this and everything else in mind. Sometimes I have been impatient and rude on a bad day to someone I don't know and I go back and apologize because I feel terrible. :(

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points ago

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I think there's a balance that a person needs to achieve. For example, should you care about what others think of you? Or, should you not care at all? I think the balance is this: Do good towards others, and then do not obsess over what they think. Do your part, be content with that, and after that, don't worry. Most people will try to milk your kindness dry, don't let them do that.

I'm rambling and off-point now, and I haven't even answered your question :)

[–]hakuna_matata77[S] 2 points3 points ago

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No. I loved your response. Thank you. It's actually just what I was looking for.

[–]frenchpear 13 points14 points ago*

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I'm 32. The best advice I have gotten, is:

  1. Just because you have always done things one way, does not mean you cannot change whenever you please.

  2. Take care of the pennies and the pounds take care of themselves.

  3. Make hay while the sun shines.

  4. Pride comes before the fall. - Never brag or boast or take things for granted, you never know what is around the corner.

  5. Always seek first to understand.

  6. Listen more than you speak.

And my own piece of advice to you: Just because someone might be related to you, does not mean you have to maintain relationships which do not make you feel valued.

[–]dvs 5 points6 points ago

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Good advice. I disagree with your second point, though. Do not be penny wise and pound foolish. Case in point, I read an article in /r/frugal recently on how to make the things you buy last longer. One example required a large investment in time. The amount of money saved was inconsequential. The article said, and I quote, "what could you do with an extra $34 a year in your pocket?" A whole hell of a lot less than the several hours a month required to put it there.

[–]420freeze 43 points44 points ago

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No one but your family gives a fuck.

[–]PhishGreenLantern 31 points32 points ago

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And maybe not even them...

[–]Kleash 16 points17 points ago

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Forever alone

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Not always true D:

[–]Snizzlefry 1 point2 points ago

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I wish I could double up vote that.

[–]znk 22 points23 points ago

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Dont wait for the perfect opportunity.

[–]thegreatcatsby 10 points11 points ago

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Create opportunity. Work hard, have fun, find what centers you, invest in relationships, be passionate, cultivate your independence, and persevere. At the tender age of 23, I am not old by any stretch of the imagination. But I have encountered more bumps along the way than most suburban-middleclass-twentysomethings like myself - I've found this advice to be invaluable when it comes to creating a fulfilling life for myself. Hopefully it will be helpful to you as well :)

[–]zandaphalon 22 points23 points ago

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Lay off that whiskey and let that cocaine be.

[–]fuzzybeard 12 points13 points ago

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45 y.o. redditor here:

Don't succumb to the urge to go deeply into debt to have the newest/shiniest anything! Oftentimes, the terms and conditions in those "easy credit" offers are anything BUT easy!

When looking for love, don't look for it; it will find you when the time is right! That's how I met, fell in love with, married, and have held onto Mrs. Fuzzybeard.

Learn a do-it-yourself skill. You'd be amazed at how good you can feel after fixing something you own. One caveat, though: If you can fix your own lawn mower or computer, never let your neighbors find out, if at all possible! ;)

[–]reph 4 points5 points ago

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What if I want a girl without a beard?

[–]EsmeWeatherwax 20 points21 points ago

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Let life be good. Terrible things may happen to you, things you never expected, things you don't think you can face...but you can, and on the other side of them you are stronger and life is better.

Doing good things for other people actually makes you feel good. If you get depressed, try it. Owning a dog is better than a gym membership. Owning a cat teaches you humility. Owning a child is illegal...so don't do that.

[–]lifeliver 8 points9 points ago

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No matter what happens, stay true to yourself. The faster you can see the good in each day, the quicker you are on the way to enjoying your life. Shit happens to everyone every day, it's how you deal with that shit that matters. Stay in contact with those who mean something to you. Let go of anything that drags you down. Regrets only make you miserable. Look at your mistakes, learn from them and move on. Never, EVER stop having fun.

[–]Leaflock 9 points10 points ago

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Whole Life Insurance Policies. Buy them now. By your mid 30s they will be paying for themselves. By your 50s you'll have your eye on retirement.

I lament not being more serious about my economic future when I was in my 20s.

[–]dvs 1 point2 points ago

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Damn straight. More good than one can imagine will come from listening to this advice. Buy Whole Life Insurance. Buy as much as they will let you, or as much as you can afford. There is no such thing as "too much life insurance" because the insurance companies won't write a policy for more than you're worth.

Do you know how much you're worth? Few people realize how much.

[–]Mr_Horrible 33 points34 points ago*

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I would force myself to relax and not worry about shit so much. The older i get, the more i am able to let shit ride and just enjoy the shit out of the great moments and get through the bad ones much more easily.

Edit: not sure i used the word "shit" enough. shit.

[–]sam480 9 points10 points ago

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You didn't call the shit poop. You can't be that old.

[–]KrakNup 2 points3 points ago

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Old people like the word shit. Such a short, little word that covers so many things.

[–]Mr_Horrible 1 point2 points ago

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Only 37, not so old I guess

[–]jamie1414 3 points4 points ago

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shitttttttt

[–]AllTattedUpJay 1 point2 points ago

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[–][deleted] 18 points19 points ago

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It is not your responsibility to make someone else happy.

[–]PhishGreenLantern 23 points24 points ago

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except your children

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]spankymunkee 8 points9 points ago

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wear knee pads whenever kneeling. your knees will thank you later.

[–]warpus 6 points7 points ago

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my knees have never thanked me for anything

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points ago

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you should try wearing knee pads

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]prophet3467 25 points26 points ago

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and everybody knows you as the goat fucker

[–]Calamity_Jesus 14 points15 points ago

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and suspects you fuck sheep as well

[–]BlackLeatherRain 6 points7 points ago

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It's why the Scots wear kilts. Sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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That yes, having decent credit does in fact matter, and all the poor decisions you make now WILL affect you for the rest of your life.

[–]LuxNocte 6 points7 points ago

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Any time you're faced with a decision, go for the more interesting choice. "You regret the things you didn't do much more than the things you did." If you have a chance to do something you haven't done before, take the chance. Whether it's going up to a cute girl, or jumping out of a perfectly good aeroplane...the beaten path is for beaten men.

[–]jaybee2 7 points8 points ago

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Good advise from everyone. I'm going to focus on the physical.

Get plenty of sleep and make an effort to establish good habits of diet, exercise and posture. Looking good is a side benefit, but it's really about taking care of yourself so that you get quality out of your body for as long as possible.

Your body will begin to degenerate and believe it or not you're laying the groundwork now. When you're young, it seems like it'll never be an issue, and you're able to bounce back from most anything that taxes you, but when shit starts breaking down it just plain whoops your ass.

Establishing good habits now will likely slow down the inevitable decline and will eliminate the need for big changes later.

Final Note: Just because you're lean doesn't mean you're healthy. Shit's going on inside your body as we speak. Feed your body good food and limit saturated fat in your diet to protect your arteries. And for god's sake, DON'T SMOKE!

It's not about living forever but living well while we're here.

[–]RidiculousAssumption 51 points52 points ago

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Always put yourself first, never put yourself in a position where you will end up resenting someone else for a sacrifice you made for them. Actualize your skills, talents and abilities and find someone else who has done the same. (in terms of a significant other)

[–]hakuna_matata77[S] 10 points11 points ago

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Hey thanks for this also. Can you elaborate? The thing is I try and be a helpful person and I worry one day this will happen to me. Do you think it most likely happens over money, or just over worrying too much about others? How do you think is the best way to have a balance between worrying about others and yourself?

[–]RidiculousAssumption 29 points30 points ago

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You always have to put yourself first, that's the rule. It's not being selfish if you expect everyone else to act the same way, they are simply your rules for life. If you don't want to do something, say no and explain why you'd prefer not to. If you're always upfront you can't get into too much trouble.

What's hard is finding someone who will say "well, it's really important to me that you come to [X] so I know you don't want to, but will you come anyway?" because sometimes thats what it takes. I'm more than willing to say those words because I'm not ashamed to expose myself emotionally, but getting to the point where both parties are this comfortable can be a difficult process, but well worth it. Just don't hang your hat on an SO - always be prepared to be alone, and realize that honestly, you are alone in this world - so make the best of it! If you're happy, you will attract other happy and positive people. Sounds trite, but its so true.

[–]mayordaily 4 points5 points ago

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I think you do a good job of clarifying in this second response, and I agree that this specific advice is essential to setting yourself up for happiness.

If you'd truly rather not commit to something, affirm something, condone something, or be a certain way, bite the bullet and take the difficult route; be honest upfront even though the other person will probably be a little hurt/shocked and/or the scene will get awkward. You'll thank yourself later.

However, this can be overused. Some of the best experiences in life come when we push ourselves, or are pushed to do, something we're not immediately comfortable with. Don't deny yourself these chances to grow and live.

[–]battleangel 2 points3 points ago

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I just wanted to tell you that your response was basically mindblowing for me. I want you to know that you have seriously shifted my way of thinking for the better. Thank you.

[–]LuxNocte 6 points7 points ago

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Putting yourself first is important. But "pay it forward" when you can. Never lend anyone money you can't afford to give. But if you can afford it, fuck, why not! As long as you have your "needs" handled, you're not going to remember what happened to that money anyway.

I loan money, then forget about it. If they're really friends, I'll get it back. If not, <shrug> it's worth a couple bucks to find that out now.

[–]drangundsturm 1 point2 points ago

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One way (I've only lived one life for 41 years, I can't say it's the "best") is to imagine if you could deal with putting others' interests first for... a month; a year; 5 years; etc. And what that means -- in terms of stress on you, and in terms of what opportunities you've foregone.

I also agree with LuxNocte in that sometimes the way you determine if a relationship is worth investing in for the long term is to "pay it forward" and see what comes back. Unfortunately, that sounds cold and transactional. But it can't be in practice. It must be "organic", not tit for tat.

Apologies for opacity. Perhaps others have the gist, are better writers, and can illuminate?

[–]asdjfsjhfkdjs 4 points5 points ago

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never put yourself in a position where you will end up resenting someone else for a sacrifice you made for them.

Brilliant. Always believed this, never heard it put so well.

The corollary is this: never resent someone for a sacrifice you made for them. Always make any kind of generosity genuine.

[–]dave-gonzo 1 point2 points ago

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This is lesson I wish I'd learned sooner.

[–]PhishGreenLantern 1 point2 points ago

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Unless you are a parent, in which case your children come first.

[–]hakuna_matata77[S] 15 points16 points ago

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just wanted to say thanks to everyone who is posting... I am reading every comment and I think they are all wonderful. This is exactly what I was hoping for. Thanks

[–]compilerguy 11 points12 points ago*

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  • Don't buy that new car, just don't do it. Drive what you have until it dies. There are cooler things than a car.

  • Don't talk about video games, the interweb, etc. when out at a bar, restaurant, or in a public place where people will listen in on you. You sound like an idiot. Find a bar that has a trivia night instead; get good at trivia.

  • Live frugally for now, but eat well and take care of yourself; don't be fat.

  • Most of your friends really arn't you friend. Figure out which ones care about you and be good to them. Don't crap on the others tho.

  • That's not the one you're going to marry, no matter what you think you may "know".

  • Don't have a kid. When you think you're ready, wait a bit longer. Also, see above.

  • You're parents are were probably right.... about everything. You'll admit it in a few years. See above, again.

  • Save for retirement as soon as possible; even just a few bucks a paycheck. It's a good habit. All you may want right now is a secure, good paying job, but once you have it you'll just want not to have it. Retiring at 50 is much cooler than said mentioned car. This won't happen if you pop out a kid, see above.

  • Be happy. If you're not it's probably your own fault. Change something, anything, if you're not.

  • Call your mom every week; visit sometimes too.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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How long does the "not gonna marry that one" stand? It's pretty junk advice.

It should instead be: spend 2-3 years together, under the same roof for t least one, before you think about marriage

[–]TheMaskedMarauder 6 points7 points ago

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[–]KrakNup 4 points5 points ago

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Wish I'd realized earlier in life that all work and no play makes Jack a divorced, single father.

[–]Not_Joking 4 points5 points ago

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If you have a dream, something you really want to do, do not wait. You do not need to be fully prepared. You do not need to have a safety net. You do not need a perfect plan, or be sure of success. You need to begin now.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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Never think you're better than anyone. I've seen coworkers treat manual laborers like shit because they can, but I've learned way more and laughed harder hanging out with construction workers than I have with lawyers

[–]fishingman 1 point2 points ago

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I've worked in a wide variety of jobs, the best camaraderie and my best friendships were made the six years I spent on the back end of a garbage truck.

[–]BlackLeatherRain 6 points7 points ago

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My self worth does not come from my intimate relationships.

(I am female, and spent most of my 20s trying to validate myself through developing intimate relationships... it doesn't work.)

[–]ariellecyan 18 points19 points ago

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Don't party every day. Your grades will increase exponentially. I never understood the joy of a relaxing weekend night in until I passed the ripe old age of 25.

[–]yumpizza 2 points3 points ago

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I figured this out first semester freshman year of college... drunk all the time, 2.4 GPA. Now I have a 3.3 and am drunk only most of the time :P.

[–]DoctorDeath 10 points11 points ago

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Work for yourself.

[–]hakuna_matata77[S] 5 points6 points ago

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I have a question for people with more life experience... you know how sometimes you are with somebody, or with a job, or with any decision in life and you are afraid of leaving because you are afraid you'll regret it forever... have you found you more often than not end up with the regret or its worth it to take the change? Or to have a balance? Etc.

Thanks

[–]wethrgirl 4 points5 points ago

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My ex left after 23 years, and I've had a job leave town when I wouldn't move. Both situations were not my choice, but they both worked out really well. I'm single and working for myself now, and I love both. I learned a lot from sticking with the job as long as possible, and I learned less from the used-up marriage. So sometimes staying is the right thing, and sometimes going is the right thing. Take your best guess and don't look back.

[–]sub_o 1 point2 points ago

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You know what, I found out that it's much more terrible regretting for not doing anything, then regretting after doing something wrong (provided that something wrong is not an act of crime).

[–]BlackLeatherRain 1 point2 points ago

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I've never regretted leaving any relationship, as they had all served their part and their time was over when we split (no matter how hard it was). The only relationship regret I've had is not telling someone that I loved them because I was afraid it would ruin our friendship. That leaves something behind in the "what if" department, and I hate shopping in the "what if" department.

[–]Husher 5 points6 points ago

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Travel before you settle down. Once you settle down, travel is next to impossible. Go see the world!

[–]Wadsworth 5 points6 points ago

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Heavy drinking can become alcoholism all too easily. Watch out for this.

[–]vermithraxPejorative 4 points5 points ago

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Women want to be pursued.

[–]threemoretogo 4 points5 points ago

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Holding on to any one thing or person will cause an unbearable amount of anxiety.

[–]dyetta 4 points5 points ago

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It's not how much you make, it's how much you save.

[–]Crystaleyes 4 points5 points ago

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On marriage: Don't go into it expecting everything to fall into place like a fairy tale. It takes love, commitment, compassion, understanding. Marriage is a two way street. Love your spouse through it all-sickness, tragedies, ups and downs. I've been married to my husband for 31 years, and we are each others' best friend. We love each other more now than we did when we first met.

[–]floorplanner 3 points4 points ago

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Do not feel like you have to lock yourself in to one thing/person. Use your twenties to explore and find out what you really like. Travel if you can. Work really hard. Never pass up an opportunity to learn about anything and everything because you never know where that new knowledge might take you or come in handy. Take great notes about what you like and dislike. Also, be yourself; don't feel the need to follow a trend if it doesn't fit you.

Lastly, save your money; this doesn't mean being miserly, but it does mean developing wisdom about what money can do for yourself and others. The last thing, especially, is something I wish I would have been better at. I spent a lot of years buying things for a lifestyle I thought I was going to have. I could not have been more wrong.

[–]my2cnts 3 points4 points ago

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compound interest

[–]SplitEnder 2 points3 points ago

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Just point yourself in the right direction and keep moving, you'll get there eventually. No need to worry.

[–]OutrageousSnow 2 points3 points ago

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Kiss the girl.

[–]woo_hoo 2 points3 points ago

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Spend time with your parents (or in your case, mother). Get to know them as people.

[–]FanboyChumChum 7 points8 points ago

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Remember, nobody ever said life is fair... If they did they lied to you. Sometimes you just have too play the cards you're dealt.

[–]Up2Eleven 6 points7 points ago*

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Some people truly have no conscience or "spark of good" in them.

The government lies. Always.

Political parties are bullshit. Focus on issues and don't adhere to any party.

Evidence is far more reliable than faith.

The universe will not drop anything out of the sky for you. You must make things happen.

Craft beers are amazing.

Do not ever share your bank account, even if (especially if) you are married.

Crazy girls are fun and temporary. If you see signs of seriously fucked up crazy, end it immediately. Do not wait. The amazing sex isn't worth it.

Learn to go down really well on a woman. They will love you for it.

Travel. See other countries. Get a passport right now and do not wait until you are older. This will be the best education you will ever have.

Do what you like, not what you "should". You'll be much happier.

Always get every agreement in writing if you stand to lose something, no matter how well you know or get along with those involved. Because...

You never truly know anyone. Just when you think you really know someone, they can completely change.

Never agree to anything you don't have a clean and clear way out of if things get fucked up.

Most people lie, even if they don't know it. It's not always intentional. So, always verify everything for yourself and never believe just one person's perceptions of anything.

If you have people in your life that drain you, it's okay to exclude them from your life. Spend time with people who support you and get you.

You're not entitled to anything. Be grateful for everything you have, because anything can happen. Take nothing for granted.

Savor things that are good. Etch them in your mind. You will enjoy the memory of them later.

Slow the fuck down. Take it all in. Experience life, don't just rush through it.

Most everything we hear, believe, read, say, etc. is bullshit. Trust your gut.

Don't be a dick. Be kind as much as possible. Help others. Ask for help when you need it.

Always know where your towel is.

Edit: punctuation

[–]Kyusu 6 points7 points ago

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All this talk of money I would advise you to consider the words of TS Elliot:

Phlebas the Phoenician, a fortnight dead,

Forgot the cry of gulls, and the deep sea swell

And the profit and loss.

A current under sea

Picked his bones in whispers. As he rose and fell

He passed the stages of his age and youth

Entering the whirlpool.

Gentile or Jew

O you who turn the wheel and look to windward,

Consider Phlebas, who was once handsome and tall as you.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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I'm 43 in 3 months. Here are some things:

  1. don't try to "live rich." (even if you are.) Don't get the expensive lifestyle, the mortgage, the SUV, the hot wife with her needs that you must satisfy (materially, that is) etc... just don't. Live cheaper than you can afford to live. Save your money.

  2. Wait to get married. Definitely wait to have kids.

  3. Finish school. Get your degree.

  4. Cultivate long and close relationships with good, true friends. Nothing in life is more "valuable."

  5. Get a cat.

  6. Don't smoke pot or cigarettes. They'll bankrupt you. Trust me.

  7. Don't become a lawyer or a dentist.

  8. Don't join the military.

  9. Rent. Don't buy.

  10. Always use protection. Herpes is for life.

[–]lonmoer 2 points3 points ago

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i hate your advice because im allergic to cats and i love weed. also whats thatbit about the dentist? it always seemed like a decent job to me

[–]monximus 2 points3 points ago

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[–]dailyrider 2 points3 points ago

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Yea, don't second guess your self. It gets tiring.

[–]GoKartMozart 2 points3 points ago

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That it gets better. Oh yea, and max our your 401k first then pay your bills.

[–]Sleezy_T 2 points3 points ago

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Stephen Fry did a video about this that someone posted in a comment I saw awhile back it is very inspiring to say the least.

[–]robotdevilhands 2 points3 points ago

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In work, always look to work with the best people, regardless of what company it is. Good people and functional teams will ALWAYS succeed in the long run, and in the interim, your coworkers can become your good friends.

[–]TophatMcMonocle 2 points3 points ago

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Cultivate and maintain options. Options are power. Even if you never need them.

[–]artholeflaffer 2 points3 points ago

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Sorry to hear you do not have access to familial ancient wisdom. Today I hung out with a Kurd who literally ran for his life from Saddams gas attacks (which claimed his brothers life) and after being chased as an illegal across 20 countries (no papers, passport, id) he spent 1 year in US prison awaiting asylum. Now he has citizenship, his own business, family, and an amazing and inspiring story to share and learn from. To me life is just people being part of crazy shit caused by other people that makes great storytelling. Find analog codgers to adopt. They know great dirty jokes, can fix things and teach by example how to enjoy life.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]updn 2 points3 points ago

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You're young, don't rush things or try to get everything "settled" by the time you're 25. Things will fall into place, and you'll miss the road there.

[–]yellin 2 points3 points ago

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Come on, where is "be grateful for what you have?"

Seriously, take a second every night before you turn out the light to appreciate the roof over your head, the job you go to, the warm body beside you, your healthy body, and whatever else you are lucky to have (this is pretty well everything that you do in fact have). You'll be much happier overall when you keep this in mind.

[–]5zerocool 2 points3 points ago

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Everyone develops at different speeds. Age really is just a number. Make sure you are getting proper nutrition/hydration. Lack of nutrients and hydration can wreak havoc on your mind and life.

[–]wheeldog 2 points3 points ago

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Here's the thing: once you get to be my age (48) you realize that no one under the age of 40 is going to listen to a word you say. They have to go through it all themselves. That said, the best advice I could give anyone in their twenties is: do NOT waste time. If you think to yourself "Oh I can get that degree later" or such, don't procrastinate. DO IT NOW. Do NOT let your heart lead you into bad places. Don't change your plans because someone is cute and you want to be with them.

[–]warpus 8 points9 points ago

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NEVER shave your fuckin stomach

[–]nerdnewbie69 1 point2 points ago

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Why not?

[–]warpus 6 points7 points ago

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i would show you, but then i'd have to kill you

[–]Whalen 9 points10 points ago

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Do what interests you. Find your passion. Don't worry about your 401K. You'll be able to catch up in your 30/40's so long as you don't use your 20's to rack up debt.

[–]PhishGreenLantern 8 points9 points ago

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Wrong. Put money (something) into your 401k. Even if it is 20 bucks a month. Compounded interest begins at birth.

[–]mayordaily 6 points7 points ago

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Your financial growth and your immediate life pursuits don't have to occupy your attention exclusively. I say concern yourself with both simultaneously. It's definitely doable.

[–]ASpaceMonkey 3 points4 points ago

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Time flies. Use it wisely.

[–]davelog 4 points5 points ago

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Disregard females, acquire currency.

[–]skibud2 1 point2 points ago

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Are you a programmer? If so, try to start a company before you have any expenses! Once you have a real house, car payments, etc it becomes much more difficult. Read paulgraham.com he has great stories about young kids starting companies.

[–]tiabmaps 1 point2 points ago

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Fuck! I'm old!

[–]surfnaked 1 point2 points ago

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That I'd just kept surfing and ignored all that other shit. I kept surfing, but got caught in all those damn distractions.

[–]my_life_is_awesome 1 point2 points ago

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Have fun. But do it responsibly.

[–]rocky13 1 point2 points ago

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Most advice consists of one or more sides of a philisophical idea or question that is multidimensional.

Example: "To not take life too seriously."
This is good advice if you are too wrapped up in events in your personal life or if you are overly cautious in how you live(realizing life's potential takes risk). But if you are a hedonist (Vanilla Sky), then you need to hear: "Be careful with other's hearts. You never know who is hiding an emotional basket-case behind a beautiful smile."

[–]mastarifla 1 point2 points ago

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"No matter what they take away from you, they cant take away your education/knowledge"- Dad

To which I replied... unless they have those MiB memory erasers

Son I am Disappoint

[–]creedit 1 point2 points ago

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It won't be anything like you think it might. It's all a crap shoot. Do everything right, save, work hard and -- boom it all evaporates. Fuck off and pick your nose and stumble into wealth and comfort. You just can not tell what will be what.

[–]Anti-gravity 1 point2 points ago

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Don't write yourself off yet. Also, it doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else.

[–]hopz 1 point2 points ago

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I'm 23 as well. My parents have given me wonderful advice over the years that I haven't always taken...maybe you'll appreciate some: Don't buy anything you can't afford (they've bailed me out of credit card debt twice). Never buy a new car. If you want kids, imagine that you're applying for a loan...you can't get 'em if you can't produce the last 2 weeks' pay stubs. Your husband/wife is your best friend, never treat them like any less.

[–]eternalkerri 1 point2 points ago

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Never, ever lie to yourself about the important things.

Sure, when you can lie to yourself that you have a shot of winning in a pick up game with Kobe, that's fine.

But don't lie to yourself that you are happy following a trend just to be popular. Don't convince yourself that you love that soul sucking job. It's ok to be sexually attracted to that person. Quit thinking that living in a particular place makes your life complete.

[–]lostinspac3 1 point2 points ago

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I wish I would have known and invested in Google. Everything else is luck.

[–]m4ttwr1ght 1 point2 points ago*

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  • Dont buy a fancy car, buy a shitbox that will get you from A to B. cars cost alot more then you prepare for.
  • Read all contracts you sign
  • Dont take out big loans / Spend more money then you have
  • If you think need a credit card, keep you limit low ($500)
  • Focus on the Positives not the Negatives and don't get caught up in the nagatives
  • Were a condom
  • Do things YOU want to do, change up your daily routine
  • Force yourself to go to bed earlier and you wont wake up feeling like shit
  • Don't join the military
  • When you pay monthly for many things they add up quick!

[–]MeShoFuckinRonery 1 point2 points ago

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Avoid credit cards.

Fuck as many younger people as you can, while you can.

[–]XtremeIndexCard 1 point2 points ago

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Read the Art of War. I'll sum up it's real world applications here: Don't go into anything half-cocked. Make plans, back-up plans, and form exit strategies. Success likes careful preparation.

Many have a negative view about using the Art of War as a strategy for handling life because they think it means fucking other people over (thanks to the movie Wallstreet). But it's not. It's about being prepared so you don't waste time on things that don't work or so you won't risk everything on huge gambles.

Also, this may sound cold but look for allies and not friends. Don't choose friends because they are "cool". Choose friends because they are dependable and you can help each other in life. When I was your age, a teacher in college told me that there's a difference between "work friends" and "party friends"; she said that she found that as she got older, she found that her "work friends" were the relationships that lasted the longest and bore the most fruit. I've found it to be true as well. I wish someone had told me that when I was even younger.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Never loan a significant amount of money to family.

[–]KimJongChill 1 point2 points ago

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The single most important tool in life is social skills.

If you want to smoothly climb the corporate ladder, it's far better to invest in dental veneers and handshake classes than your actual job skills because no one gives a shit how smart or talented you are, only about how superficially charming and competent you seem.

[–]rodya255 1 point2 points ago

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I'm not exactly old, 27, but there are some things I def would have liked to have known:

Women:

  1. Your first love will always be puppy love. Learn to deal with heartbreak, there will be plenty.

  2. NEVER put a woman as the top priority in your life. YOU are the most important, women come and go.

  3. You will never be able to completely make someone happy in a relationship. Make yourself happy first.

  4. Date around a bit first, if you meet 'the one' you could run into some serious internal struggle if you feel you have not lived enough yet.

  5. Don't spend nearly as much money on women. (see #2)

  6. Don't fall in love, or at least don't say "I love you" until you have been with this person for at least 3 years. Love fades, emotions die, this hurts and you will learn this too...

  7. Go for it, even if you think she's out of your league, what do you have to lose? (This I actually am glad I figured out and did :D )

College:

  1. No matter what your college adviser says, go to the University (or website) and see for yourself if you can get in or not, apply anyways.

  2. Get out of Community College (do a good job) as quickly as possible. (Transferred in 3, wasted 1 year).

  3. If you're going to work through college, go to a good state school. Don't waste your money on a private school. (wasted 1 year (pt) and at least a years worth of full time tuition money at a state school)

  4. If you take a year off of school to save money to go to school, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SAVE YOUR MONEY!!! (see women #5)

  5. At least in my opinion, school teaches you nothing practical, just concepts and how to learn.

  6. Have a skill or become an expert in something before you look for a job in the real world. What can you do right now that is of value for a company. If "I can learn..." is anywhere in your vocab, it's not good enough.

[–]KILLALLEXTREMISTS 1 point2 points ago

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Never have kids on the first marriage.

[–]General_Specific 1 point2 points ago

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Avoid debt.

No credit cards.

[–]smokesteam 1 point2 points ago

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I'm 41. Two things come to mind:

  • Every promising new technology that looks to improve mankind's lot in life will eventually fill up with stupid.
  • IT is not the career to be in after 30.

[–]fishingman 1 point2 points ago

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As you sow, so shall you reap. If you plant a kernel of corn, you will end up with a corn stalk. If you treat your wife with love, affection, respect, and romance. You will end up with a loving, affectionate, respectful, and romantic wife. If you treat your children with love, respect, and honor, you will end up with loving, respectful, and honorable children. If you treat your boss, your employees,and your neighbors with respect, honesty....

edit: spelling

[–]FlaveC 1 point2 points ago

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I think others have already posted this but I think it's worth repeating.

I am a college graduate and make a comfortable living. But in my half-century of life I have found that my greatest source of general education and perspective has come from travelling. It may be obvious to some but it is insanely eye-opening to experience first-hand how different people on this planet think and live. And I don't mean travel to the Caribbean. I mean travel to the Far East, South Asia, North Africa, even Europe. Take all the appropriate precautions and use your head but these areas are where you will experience humanity at its fullest. And do it while you're young and still unencumbered by family, job, mortgage, etc. Believe me, you will return a changed person -- and for the better.

You have no idea what's out there people and unless you travel, you never will.

[–]discdigger 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Kids are VERY VERY expensive, in both time and money. Whether or not they are worth it is a very serious question.