OLD REDDITORS: what's the one thing you wish you'd known about life when you were in your early 20s?

xamomax · 1 year

Girls get just as nervous on dates as guys do, so instead of concentrating on "being cool" or "impressive", work on making her feel as comfortable and secure as possible. This will make you feel way less nervous, and she will like you for it.
You are not as ugly as you think you are.
Understand nutrition
Don't trust what you see on TV
Invest money early on, and consistently (preferably automatically from your paychecks). A cool car in your 20's is not nearly as cool as an awesome house in your 30's.
Continuously educate yourself
Adolescence can hit you in your twenties - you are lucky if it hit you before you turned 18.
Finish school. Get a degree in something you find fun.

Angry_Caveman_Lawyer · 1 year

No one besides yourself can make you feel anything. If someone affects you, it's because you let them.

People always take this in a negative light, but that's not the case.

You control you, no one else does.

thekadar81 · 1 year

"Nothing good lasts, nothing bad lasts. The only thing constant is change." Best advice I ever had. Thanks Grandpa.

kat_fud · 1 year

Start preparing for retirement now. Take care of your teeth.

p4nda · 1 year

When you passionately disagree with someone, it's easy to feel like they're simply wrong. Maybe even stupid. In fact, most of the time, they simply have a different perspective that's just as legitimate and defensible as your own. If you adopt their perspective, temporarily, experimentally, you've lost nothing, and gained understanding of them. You may even find yourself changing your mind, and that's fine, too. Sticking to your guns is stupid.

synthaxx · 1 year

That old(er) people generally don't have a clue either.

But when they do, you listen.

zeno · 1 year

Stop going to bars and drinking your money away. They're terrible places to socialize and to meet women.
Take up social dancing (Salsa, Tango, Swing) and women will flock to you
Travel outside the country before your life becomes more and more settled (long term relationship, mortgage, your career progression)
Get as educated as possible as early as possible.

popayesailor · 1 year

There's Character and Reputation, never sacrifice your character and don't concern yourself with reputation. Your the only one that controls your character and have no control over your reputation.

thornae · 1 year

When you're going through shit times... keep going.

No matter how bad it gets, keep going. It may take a fucking long time, but eventually, it will get better.

(And really, if you don't keep going, how will you ever know what happened?)

Edit: Also, Futuaris nisi irrisus ridebis de recta non tolerandum sunt.

TheCannon · 1 year

To not take it too seriously, ever.

windynights · 1 year

I wish I'd started earlier on the simple maxim: Pay yourself first. Set aside 10% of your income and don't touch it. It's amazing what you'll have by the time you're fifty. Freedom means a helluva lot more when you can also afford to enjoy it.

buzzbattlecat · 1 year

You need to get out of your comfort zone to grow. Keep learning.

Don't draw your boundaries small- its a big world.

Choose your choices (ie when you choose a path in life, don't live half-heartedly, throw yourself in and do your best) or make another choice.

Holding onto grudges, resentment and anger just hurts you: learn and let go.

Spend time out in wild places- go hiking, camping, whatever you can. Good for the soul.

Also these deserve a read, very good stuff.

gamedude999 · 1 year

Take more risks because life is even shorter than you think.

Kyusu · 1 year

I'm not old (34), so I don't know how much merit my advice has, but...

I'm noticing that a lot of people are giving you advice about money, and that's good, but I would add: Treat people fairly. Most of the regret that I carry is from times that I didn't treat people with the same respect that I would expect (Golden Rule and all that...) For me, all of these times also correspond with times that I drank too much, so my second piece of advice is: Everything in moderation.

frenchpear · 1 year

I'm 32. The best advice I have gotten, is:

Just because you have always done things one way, does not mean you cannot change whenever you please.
Take care of the pennies and the pounds take care of themselves.
Make hay while the sun shines.
Pride comes before the fall. - Never brag or boast or take things for granted, you never know what is around the corner.
Always seek first to understand.
Listen more than you speak.

And my own piece of advice to you: Just because someone might be related to you, does not mean you have to maintain relationships which do not make you feel valued.

420freeze · 1 year

No one but your family gives a fuck.

znk · 1 year

Dont wait for the perfect opportunity.

zandaphalon · 1 year

Lay off that whiskey and let that cocaine be.

fuzzybeard · 1 year

45 y.o. redditor here:

Don't succumb to the urge to go deeply into debt to have the newest/shiniest anything! Oftentimes, the terms and conditions in those "easy credit" offers are anything BUT easy!

When looking for love, don't look for it; it will find you when the time is right! That's how I met, fell in love with, married, and have held onto Mrs. Fuzzybeard.

Learn a do-it-yourself skill. You'd be amazed at how good you can feel after fixing something you own. One caveat, though: If you can fix your own lawn mower or computer, never let your neighbors find out, if at all possible! ;)

EsmeWeatherwax · 1 year

Let life be good. Terrible things may happen to you, things you never expected, things you don't think you can face...but you can, and on the other side of them you are stronger and life is better.

Doing good things for other people actually makes you feel good. If you get depressed, try it. Owning a dog is better than a gym membership. Owning a cat teaches you humility. Owning a child is illegal...so don't do that.

lifeliver · 1 year

No matter what happens, stay true to yourself. The faster you can see the good in each day, the quicker you are on the way to enjoying your life. Shit happens to everyone every day, it's how you deal with that shit that matters. Stay in contact with those who mean something to you. Let go of anything that drags you down. Regrets only make you miserable. Look at your mistakes, learn from them and move on. Never, EVER stop having fun.

Leaflock · 1 year

Whole Life Insurance Policies. Buy them now. By your mid 30s they will be paying for themselves. By your 50s you'll have your eye on retirement.

I lament not being more serious about my economic future when I was in my 20s.

Mr_Horrible · 1 year

I would force myself to relax and not worry about shit so much. The older i get, the more i am able to let shit ride and just enjoy the shit out of the great moments and get through the bad ones much more easily.

Edit: not sure i used the word "shit" enough. shit.

PhishGreenLantern · 1 year

It is not your responsibility to make someone else happy.

1 year

[deleted]

spankymunkee · 1 year

wear knee pads whenever kneeling. your knees will thank you later.

prophet3467 · 1 year

[deleted]

[deleted] · 1 year

That yes, having decent credit does in fact matter, and all the poor decisions you make now WILL affect you for the rest of your life.

LuxNocte · 1 year

Any time you're faced with a decision, go for the more interesting choice. "You regret the things you didn't do much more than the things you did." If you have a chance to do something you haven't done before, take the chance. Whether it's going up to a cute girl, or jumping out of a perfectly good aeroplane...the beaten path is for beaten men.

jaybee2 · 1 year

Good advise from everyone. I'm going to focus on the physical.

Get plenty of sleep and make an effort to establish good habits of diet, exercise and posture. Looking good is a side benefit, but it's really about taking care of yourself so that you get quality out of your body for as long as possible.

Your body will begin to degenerate and believe it or not you're laying the groundwork now. When you're young, it seems like it'll never be an issue, and you're able to bounce back from most anything that taxes you, but when shit starts breaking down it just plain whoops your ass.

Establishing good habits now will likely slow down the inevitable decline and will eliminate the need for big changes later.

Final Note: Just because you're lean doesn't mean you're healthy. Shit's going on inside your body as we speak. Feed your body good food and limit saturated fat in your diet to protect your arteries. And for god's sake, DON'T SMOKE!

It's not about living forever but living well while we're here.

RidiculousAssumption · 1 year

Always put yourself first, never put yourself in a position where you will end up resenting someone else for a sacrifice you made for them. Actualize your skills, talents and abilities and find someone else who has done the same. (in terms of a significant other)

hakuna_matata77 · 1 year

just wanted to say thanks to everyone who is posting... I am reading every comment and I think they are all wonderful. This is exactly what I was hoping for. Thanks

compilerguy · 1 year

Don't buy that new car, just don't do it. Drive what you have until it dies. There are cooler things than a car.
Don't talk about video games, the interweb, etc. when out at a bar, restaurant, or in a public place where people will listen in on you. You sound like an idiot. Find a bar that has a trivia night instead; get good at trivia.
Live frugally for now, but eat well and take care of yourself; don't be fat.
Most of your friends really arn't you friend. Figure out which ones care about you and be good to them. Don't crap on the others tho.
That's not the one you're going to marry, no matter what you think you may "know".
Don't have a kid. When you think you're ready, wait a bit longer. Also, see above.
You're parents are were probably right.... about everything. You'll admit it in a few years. See above, again.
Save for retirement as soon as possible; even just a few bucks a paycheck. It's a good habit. All you may want right now is a secure, good paying job, but once you have it you'll just want not to have it. Retiring at 50 is much cooler than said mentioned car. This won't happen if you pop out a kid, see above.
Be happy. If you're not it's probably your own fault. Change something, anything, if you're not.
Call your mom every week; visit sometimes too.

TheMaskedMarauder · 1 year

Spend less than you earn

And you don't need moon shoes to have fun.

KrakNup · 1 year

Wish I'd realized earlier in life that all work and no play makes Jack a divorced, single father.

Not_Joking · 1 year

If you have a dream, something you really want to do, do not wait. You do not need to be fully prepared. You do not need to have a safety net. You do not need a perfect plan, or be sure of success. You need to begin now.

fishingman · 1 year

Never think you're better than anyone. I've seen coworkers treat manual laborers like shit because they can, but I've learned way more and laughed harder hanging out with construction workers than I have with lawyers

BlackLeatherRain · 1 year

My self worth does not come from my intimate relationships.

(I am female, and spent most of my 20s trying to validate myself through developing intimate relationships... it doesn't work.)

ariellecyan · 1 year

Don't party every day. Your grades will increase exponentially. I never understood the joy of a relaxing weekend night in until I passed the ripe old age of 25.

DoctorDeath · 1 year

Work for yourself.

hakuna_matata77 · 1 year

I have a question for people with more life experience... you know how sometimes you are with somebody, or with a job, or with any decision in life and you are afraid of leaving because you are afraid you'll regret it forever... have you found you more often than not end up with the regret or its worth it to take the change? Or to have a balance? Etc.

Thanks

Husher · 1 year

Travel before you settle down. Once you settle down, travel is next to impossible. Go see the world!

Wadsworth · 1 year

Heavy drinking can become alcoholism all too easily. Watch out for this.

vermithraxPejorative · 1 year

Women want to be pursued.

threemoretogo · 1 year

Holding on to any one thing or person will cause an unbearable amount of anxiety.

dyetta · 1 year

It's not how much you make, it's how much you save.

Crystaleyes · 1 year

On marriage: Don't go into it expecting everything to fall into place like a fairy tale. It takes love, commitment, compassion, understanding. Marriage is a two way street. Love your spouse through it all-sickness, tragedies, ups and downs. I've been married to my husband for 31 years, and we are each others' best friend. We love each other more now than we did when we first met.

floorplanner · 1 year

Do not feel like you have to lock yourself in to one thing/person. Use your twenties to explore and find out what you really like. Travel if you can. Work really hard. Never pass up an opportunity to learn about anything and everything because you never know where that new knowledge might take you or come in handy. Take great notes about what you like and dislike. Also, be yourself; don't feel the need to follow a trend if it doesn't fit you.

Lastly, save your money; this doesn't mean being miserly, but it does mean developing wisdom about what money can do for yourself and others. The last thing, especially, is something I wish I would have been better at. I spent a lot of years buying things for a lifestyle I thought I was going to have. I could not have been more wrong.

my2cnts · 1 year

compound interest

SplitEnder · 1 year

Just point yourself in the right direction and keep moving, you'll get there eventually. No need to worry.

OutrageousSnow · 1 year

Kiss the girl.

woo_hoo · 1 year

Spend time with your parents (or in your case, mother). Get to know them as people.

FanboyChumChum · 1 year

Remember, nobody ever said life is fair... If they did they lied to you. Sometimes you just have too play the cards you're dealt.

Up2Eleven · 1 year

Some people truly have no conscience or "spark of good" in them.

The government lies. Always.

Political parties are bullshit. Focus on issues and don't adhere to any party.

Evidence is far more reliable than faith.

The universe will not drop anything out of the sky for you. You must make things happen.

Craft beers are amazing.

Do not ever share your bank account, even if (especially if) you are married.

Crazy girls are fun and temporary. If you see signs of seriously fucked up crazy, end it immediately. Do not wait. The amazing sex isn't worth it.

Learn to go down really well on a woman. They will love you for it.

Travel. See other countries. Get a passport right now and do not wait until you are older. This will be the best education you will ever have.

Do what you like, not what you "should". You'll be much happier.

Always get every agreement in writing if you stand to lose something, no matter how well you know or get along with those involved. Because...

You never truly know anyone. Just when you think you really know someone, they can completely change.

Never agree to anything you don't have a clean and clear way out of if things get fucked up.

Most people lie, even if they don't know it. It's not always intentional. So, always verify everything for yourself and never believe just one person's perceptions of anything.

If you have people in your life that drain you, it's okay to exclude them from your life. Spend time with people who support you and get you.

You're not entitled to anything. Be grateful for everything you have, because anything can happen. Take nothing for granted.

Savor things that are good. Etch them in your mind. You will enjoy the memory of them later.

Slow the fuck down. Take it all in. Experience life, don't just rush through it.

Most everything we hear, believe, read, say, etc. is bullshit. Trust your gut.

Don't be a dick. Be kind as much as possible. Help others. Ask for help when you need it.

Always know where your towel is.

Edit: punctuation

Kyusu · 1 year

All this talk of money I would advise you to consider the words of TS Elliot:

Phlebas the Phoenician, a fortnight dead,

Forgot the cry of gulls, and the deep sea swell

And the profit and loss.

A current under sea

Picked his bones in whispers. As he rose and fell

He passed the stages of his age and youth

Entering the whirlpool.

Gentile or Jew

O you who turn the wheel and look to windward,

Consider Phlebas, who was once handsome and tall as you.

lonmoer · 1 year

I'm 43 in 3 months. Here are some things:

don't try to "live rich." (even if you are.) Don't get the expensive lifestyle, the mortgage, the SUV, the hot wife with her needs that you must satisfy (materially, that is) etc... just don't. Live cheaper than you can afford to live. Save your money.
Wait to get married. Definitely wait to have kids.
Finish school. Get your degree.
Cultivate long and close relationships with good, true friends. Nothing in life is more "valuable."
Get a cat.
Don't smoke pot or cigarettes. They'll bankrupt you. Trust me.
Don't become a lawyer or a dentist.
Don't join the military.
Rent. Don't buy.
Always use protection. Herpes is for life.

monximus · 1 year

I'm the same age as you.

KILL BILL - Pai Mei Expanded Sequence

Pai Mei the Teacher / scene from Kill Bill vol.2 english subtitles

dailyrider · 1 year

Yea, don't second guess your self. It gets tiring.

GoKartMozart · 1 year

That it gets better. Oh yea, and max our your 401k first then pay your bills.

Sleezy_T · 1 year

Stephen Fry did a video about this that someone posted in a comment I saw awhile back it is very inspiring to say the least.

robotdevilhands · 1 year

In work, always look to work with the best people, regardless of what company it is. Good people and functional teams will ALWAYS succeed in the long run, and in the interim, your coworkers can become your good friends.

TophatMcMonocle · 1 year

Cultivate and maintain options. Options are power. Even if you never need them.

artholeflaffer · 1 year

Sorry to hear you do not have access to familial ancient wisdom. Today I hung out with a Kurd who literally ran for his life from Saddams gas attacks (which claimed his brothers life) and after being chased as an illegal across 20 countries (no papers, passport, id) he spent 1 year in US prison awaiting asylum. Now he has citizenship, his own business, family, and an amazing and inspiring story to share and learn from. To me life is just people being part of crazy shit caused by other people that makes great storytelling. Find analog codgers to adopt. They know great dirty jokes, can fix things and teach by example how to enjoy life.

1 year

[deleted]

updn · 1 year

You're young, don't rush things or try to get everything "settled" by the time you're 25. Things will fall into place, and you'll miss the road there.

yellin · 1 year

Come on, where is "be grateful for what you have?"

Seriously, take a second every night before you turn out the light to appreciate the roof over your head, the job you go to, the warm body beside you, your healthy body, and whatever else you are lucky to have (this is pretty well everything that you do in fact have). You'll be much happier overall when you keep this in mind.

5zerocool · 1 year

Everyone develops at different speeds. Age really is just a number. Make sure you are getting proper nutrition/hydration. Lack of nutrients and hydration can wreak havoc on your mind and life.

wheeldog · 1 year

Here's the thing: once you get to be my age (48) you realize that no one under the age of 40 is going to listen to a word you say. They have to go through it all themselves. That said, the best advice I could give anyone in their twenties is: do NOT waste time. If you think to yourself "Oh I can get that degree later" or such, don't procrastinate. DO IT NOW. Do NOT let your heart lead you into bad places. Don't change your plans because someone is cute and you want to be with them.

warpus · 1 year

NEVER shave your fuckin stomach

Whalen · 1 year

Do what interests you. Find your passion. Don't worry about your 401K. You'll be able to catch up in your 30/40's so long as you don't use your 20's to rack up debt.

ASpaceMonkey · 1 year

Time flies. Use it wisely.

davelog · 1 year

Disregard females, acquire currency.

skibud2 · 1 year

Are you a programmer? If so, try to start a company before you have any expenses! Once you have a real house, car payments, etc it becomes much more difficult. Read paulgraham.com he has great stories about young kids starting companies.

tiabmaps · 1 year

Fuck! I'm old!

surfnaked · 1 year

That I'd just kept surfing and ignored all that other shit. I kept surfing, but got caught in all those damn distractions.

my_life_is_awesome · 1 year

Have fun. But do it responsibly.

rocky13 · 1 year

Most advice consists of one or more sides of a philisophical idea or question that is multidimensional.

Example: "To not take life too seriously."
This is good advice if you are too wrapped up in events in your personal life or if you are overly cautious in how you live(realizing life's potential takes risk). But if you are a hedonist (Vanilla Sky), then you need to hear: "Be careful with other's hearts. You never know who is hiding an emotional basket-case behind a beautiful smile."

mastarifla · 1 year

"No matter what they take away from you, they cant take away your education/knowledge"- Dad

To which I replied... unless they have those MiB memory erasers

Son I am Disappoint

creedit · 1 year

It won't be anything like you think it might. It's all a crap shoot. Do everything right, save, work hard and -- boom it all evaporates. Fuck off and pick your nose and stumble into wealth and comfort. You just can not tell what will be what.

Anti-gravity · 1 year

Don't write yourself off yet. Also, it doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else.

hopz · 1 year

I'm 23 as well. My parents have given me wonderful advice over the years that I haven't always taken...maybe you'll appreciate some: Don't buy anything you can't afford (they've bailed me out of credit card debt twice). Never buy a new car. If you want kids, imagine that you're applying for a loan...you can't get 'em if you can't produce the last 2 weeks' pay stubs. Your husband/wife is your best friend, never treat them like any less.

eternalkerri · 1 year

Never, ever lie to yourself about the important things.

Sure, when you can lie to yourself that you have a shot of winning in a pick up game with Kobe, that's fine.

But don't lie to yourself that you are happy following a trend just to be popular. Don't convince yourself that you love that soul sucking job. It's ok to be sexually attracted to that person. Quit thinking that living in a particular place makes your life complete.

lostinspac3 · 1 year

I wish I would have known and invested in Google. Everything else is luck.

m4ttwr1ght · 1 year

Dont buy a fancy car, buy a shitbox that will get you from A to B. cars cost alot more then you prepare for.
Read all contracts you sign
Dont take out big loans / Spend more money then you have
If you think need a credit card, keep you limit low ($500)
Focus on the Positives not the Negatives and don't get caught up in the nagatives
Were a condom
Do things YOU want to do, change up your daily routine
Force yourself to go to bed earlier and you wont wake up feeling like shit
Don't join the military
When you pay monthly for many things they add up quick!

MeShoFuckinRonery · 1 year

Avoid credit cards.

Fuck as many younger people as you can, while you can.

XtremeIndexCard · 1 year

Read the Art of War. I'll sum up it's real world applications here: Don't go into anything half-cocked. Make plans, back-up plans, and form exit strategies. Success likes careful preparation.

Many have a negative view about using the Art of War as a strategy for handling life because they think it means fucking other people over (thanks to the movie Wallstreet). But it's not. It's about being prepared so you don't waste time on things that don't work or so you won't risk everything on huge gambles.

Also, this may sound cold but look for allies and not friends. Don't choose friends because they are "cool". Choose friends because they are dependable and you can help each other in life. When I was your age, a teacher in college told me that there's a difference between "work friends" and "party friends"; she said that she found that as she got older, she found that her "work friends" were the relationships that lasted the longest and bore the most fruit. I've found it to be true as well. I wish someone had told me that when I was even younger.

[deleted] · 1 year

Never loan a significant amount of money to family.

KimJongChill · 1 year

The single most important tool in life is social skills.

If you want to smoothly climb the corporate ladder, it's far better to invest in dental veneers and handshake classes than your actual job skills because no one gives a shit how smart or talented you are, only about how superficially charming and competent you seem.

rodya255 · 1 year

I'm not exactly old, 27, but there are some things I def would have liked to have known:

Women:

Your first love will always be puppy love. Learn to deal with heartbreak, there will be plenty.
NEVER put a woman as the top priority in your life. YOU are the most important, women come and go.
You will never be able to completely make someone happy in a relationship. Make yourself happy first.
Date around a bit first, if you meet 'the one' you could run into some serious internal struggle if you feel you have not lived enough yet.
Don't spend nearly as much money on women. (see #2)
Don't fall in love, or at least don't say "I love you" until you have been with this person for at least 3 years. Love fades, emotions die, this hurts and you will learn this too...
Go for it, even if you think she's out of your league, what do you have to lose? (This I actually am glad I figured out and did :D )

College:

No matter what your college adviser says, go to the University (or website) and see for yourself if you can get in or not, apply anyways.
Get out of Community College (do a good job) as quickly as possible. (Transferred in 3, wasted 1 year).
If you're going to work through college, go to a good state school. Don't waste your money on a private school. (wasted 1 year (pt) and at least a years worth of full time tuition money at a state school)
If you take a year off of school to save money to go to school, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SAVE YOUR MONEY!!! (see women #5)
At least in my opinion, school teaches you nothing practical, just concepts and how to learn.
Have a skill or become an expert in something before you look for a job in the real world. What can you do right now that is of value for a company. If "I can learn..." is anywhere in your vocab, it's not good enough.

KILLALLEXTREMISTS · 1 year

Never have kids on the first marriage.

General_Specific · 1 year

Avoid debt.

No credit cards.

smokesteam · 1 year

I'm 41. Two things come to mind:

Every promising new technology that looks to improve mankind's lot in life will eventually fill up with stupid.
IT is not the career to be in after 30.

fishingman · 1 year

As you sow, so shall you reap. If you plant a kernel of corn, you will end up with a corn stalk. If you treat your wife with love, affection, respect, and romance. You will end up with a loving, affectionate, respectful, and romantic wife. If you treat your children with love, respect, and honor, you will end up with loving, respectful, and honorable children. If you treat your boss, your employees,and your neighbors with respect, honesty....

edit: spelling

FlaveC · 1 year

I think others have already posted this but I think it's worth repeating.

I am a college graduate and make a comfortable living. But in my half-century of life I have found that my greatest source of general education and perspective has come from travelling. It may be obvious to some but it is insanely eye-opening to experience first-hand how different people on this planet think and live. And I don't mean travel to the Caribbean. I mean travel to the Far East, South Asia, North Africa, even Europe. Take all the appropriate precautions and use your head but these areas are where you will experience humanity at its fullest. And do it while you're young and still unencumbered by family, job, mortgage, etc. Believe me, you will return a changed person -- and for the better.

You have no idea what's out there people and unless you travel, you never will.

discdigger · 1 year

Kids are VERY VERY expensive, in both time and money. Whether or not they are worth it is a very serious question.

you'll need to login or register to do that

create a new account

login