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[–][deleted] 58 points59 points ago

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Died in a surfing accident.

Can't say anyone really deserves to die in a surfing accident. Some people say he was doing what he loved, but I doubt that inhaling sea water into his lungs was really what he loved.

[–]wbarco 7 points8 points ago

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I lol'd at work. It was a bit awkward.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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it would be better if it was a shark though

[–]PatrThom 7 points8 points ago

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How would he have inhaled a shark?

[–]oncefoughtabear 5 points6 points ago

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very painfully.

[–]rrassi 49 points50 points ago

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This is a true story. All through junior high and high school this guy was the school bully. He would be abusive and fight all the time. I was scared of him. He continued like that through his early adult life. Fast forward 10 years. I'm now in a drug program under rehabilitation when he gets admitted too as a heroin addict. We ended up sharing group therapy sessions. He would always be quiet and never discussed anything about himself until one day he burst out crying in a session. He then went on to confess he was a closet gay tranvestite who since he was a child would dress up in womens clothes and have sex with his uncle. His behaviour outside was an attempt to hide that dark side of his life. He later on abandoned the treatment program, went back to drugs, and eventually committed suicide by hanging himself from a tree.

[–]270_rotation 9 points10 points ago

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:(

[–]skarface6 1 point2 points ago

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Bill?

[–]xohollyhox 1 point2 points ago

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fuck!! I don't know how else to respond to that.

[–][deleted] 93 points94 points ago

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Was going to try to look up the girl who harassed me the most in high school, realized I don't remember her name. Counting this one as a win.

[–]NonsensicalAnalogy 22 points23 points ago

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Found out he popped out 6 kids with 5 different women who all look like a cacophonic amalgamation of the lead singer of the Eurythmics and a wrapper from a Smartwater bottle.

And is working at McDonalds. Lol.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I forced myself to make sense of what you just said. This ends here.

[–]Capnstank 3 points4 points ago

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I hate you. I HATE YOU. (But DAMNIT I respect you) I had already placed "cacophonic amalgamation" on my clipboard to figure out what the fuck you were referencing until I saw your name.

[–]ana-sisyl 2 points3 points ago

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cacophonic: terrible sounding; caco is greek for shit; a cacophony is often used to describe what it sounds like in hell. I'm sure you can figure out what -phone means.

amalgamation: This just means combination, but comes from a metallurgical term, so it's kind of stronger: you can imagine mixing molten metals together to get an alloy that seems homogenous; it's a much stronger form of combination than just mixing things together.

[–]smears 0 points1 point ago

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that's not the hard part of the metaphor..

[–]kurin 0 points1 point ago

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Jeez, the first time I actually get to read your analogy without seeing "OH LOL USERNAME" and I thought you were just using faux-intellectual words to say they had FAS.

[–]markild 5 points6 points ago

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Seriously, this is, by far, the best possible everyone.

[–]okletstrythisagain 30 points31 points ago

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kids said "he's gonna be a pro golfer" and I figured bullshit. he is now a pro golfer, making millions while being relatively obscure.

[–]brownsound00 6 points7 points ago

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Is it Tiger Woods lesser known brother... Liger Woods?

[–]oncefoughtabear 2 points3 points ago

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he's way taller, but can't have kids. His parents are of two different ethnicities as well.

[–]JeanHarlow 50 points51 points ago

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My archenemy was a girl who used to make fun of me because I never had a boyfriend, while she always had several guys she was stringing along at a time.She used to make a lot of "I'm going out tonight. Have fun fingering yourself" kind of comments. I hated her with a passion. Fast forward 15 years later, I've been happily married for 10 years, and she is still going out to bars pretty much every night, complaining that all the good guys are taken.

[–]newsun 3 points4 points ago

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Victory! Congratulations.

[–]skarface6 0 points1 point ago

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Whoa! Where did you get that cool arrow thing?

[–]newsun 0 points1 point ago

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I am a Redditor General.

[–]thegreattrun 0 points1 point ago

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I would rub it in her face. Do it!

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–]OvenCookie 2 points3 points ago

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Well I need to know his name now so I can tell him you're going to kick his ass.

[–]o7i3 1 point2 points ago*

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You mean "my name"? Not going to happen. If you know him, tell him its going to be a suprise and I plan to puke on him. If he has a good memory, he'll know who I am.

[–]ahrdelacruz 37 points38 points ago

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Cops dug him out last week. I got to go. I love you, reddit.

[–]MotoFly 13 points14 points ago

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He's not really my childhood enemy. But I kinda hated him in highschool because he stole from me. (lets just call him Ryan)

Last time I saw him was when I was back in my hometown visiting family. My uncle stopped by at my Dad's house with an old Porsche 928 he had bought back in the 80s; still in really good condition and was loud as fuck. I took it for a spin by myself and was stopped at a red light at an intersection when I saw Ryan for the first time in a few years. He was making a left from the other road, passing in front of my stopped Porsche with some shitty beat-up little red sedan. We made eye contact and he had one of the best looks of disbelief I've ever seen.

Nothing wrong with owning a shitty beat-up little red sedan, but I'm glad I have a good lasting impression on that toolbag.

[–]gibson_ 4 points5 points ago

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I was looking at you like that because you used to drone on and on about how much better american cars were than european...and you were in a porsche, not the 1980s camero that you always lusted after in highschool, duh. My little beat up red sedan was beat up because some poor kid rear-ended me at a stoplight once and I decided to make his day by just letting go and telling him to be more careful next time.

[–]MotoFly 2 points3 points ago

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ok, now justify stealing my iPod in 2005 while I was distracted helping out another student with a project! dick!

[–]gibson_ 1 point2 points ago

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Your iPod? Dude you were listening to freetalklive and keith and the girl on that thing during class and about to fail out because of it! I took it away and gave it to your mom, didn't she ever give it back to you?

I told her she should hold on to it for a while so you could get back to studying. WTF, dude? Go ask her for it!

[–]MotoFly 1 point2 points ago

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BULLSHIT

BTW, that girl you slept with who rode our bus. She's dirty. And not in the "haven't taken a shower in a few days" way.

[–]gibson_ 2 points3 points ago*

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...dude, I never slept with that girl. She was actually really shy because a lot of the other girls in our class teased her for being awkward; she was really depressed, and doing pretty badly in Mrs. Bowman's Physics class (she was actually really brilliant in art, I still have some of her paintings hanging up in my living room). We started hanging out because I was tutoring her.

After we started hearing the rumors that we were actually sleeping together, we sortof awkwardly laughed about it, but both decided that we were too young, and didn't.

The whole "omg she is dirty!" nonsense was just the other girls in the class trying to make fun of her. That sucks that you fell for it, man, cause that girl was actually really really cool (we're still friends, she's studying Computer Science at Virginia Tech right now, and after she finishes her PhD, is likely going to go work for IBM on the "blue brain" project [at least that's what I'm trying to get her to do]...).

[–]MotoFly 2 points3 points ago

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I cannot keep up with your shenanigans.

:P

[–]dude187 1 point2 points ago

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Uh, is this for real?

[–]MotoFly 0 points1 point ago

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Is this real life?!

no

[–]dude187 0 points1 point ago

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I am disappoint.

[–]MotoFly 0 points1 point ago

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Well, my story is true. Even the iPod part. No idea who this gibson dude is though.

[–]zerton 2 points3 points ago

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This is why I love driving my dad's audi when I'm at home.

[–]thepensivepoet 13 points14 points ago*

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He was murdered about a year and a half ago.

He was my best friend's little brother, we constantly got into fights and would never see eye to eye on anything.

Their father had commit suicide when they were very young and, being raised by his wonderful and exceptionally liberal mother, picked up a significant number of, ah, female qualities including a preference to wear little purple biker shorts everywhere and to carry around those little mini-backpacks they were selling in the mid-90s.

When I received the biggest grounding of my childhood my stepfather threatened to throw away all my toys if I got in trouble again. I did get in trouble again, so he made me put ALL of my toys into trash bags and drag them, sobbing, down the street to my friend's house, ring the doorbell, and give them all to his little brother. The kid I hated most.

Turns out he really was gay and, as I understand it, was turning out quite awesome and open about it in a "I'm different, don't be jealous" sort of way. At the age of 18 or so he was lured into meeting some guy he met online in a shady part of town. The guy shot him in the face a few times, rolled him into a tarp, dumped him in a ditch, and stole his car.

Seeing my childhood best friend and his mother walking down the aisle in a church carrying a little box of his brother's ashes quite literally broke my heart in a way I didn't think was possible these days. The worst part was that those two brothers were the closest and most loving siblings I think I've ever encountered. My brother and I damn near hate eachother 90% of the time and the other 10% look at eachother with disdain that's nearly palpable. Those two were making college plans together.

Not that I needed the slightest bit of confirmation, but the world is complete bullshit and makes absolutely no sense at all given that someone could put a gun to this guy's face and pull the trigger.

[–]smells_like_fish 4 points5 points ago

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Was it a hate crime or just robbing him?

[–]thepensivepoet 6 points7 points ago*

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It was likely just taking advantage of a gullible young man who turned to the internet to find likeminded people and chose the wrong one to meet.

I don't really believe in "hate crimes" as most crimes are in some way borne out of hate, but I think he was specifically killed more for the car than because he was gay.

[–]smells_like_fish 2 points3 points ago

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damn, godspeed young man.

[–]quazimodo 3 points4 points ago

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This is so awful. I see they caught the guy that did it. Is he going to get the chair?

[–]thepensivepoet 4 points5 points ago

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Don't know, I really haven't heard any updates since then and it isn't exactly something I'd want to go out of my way and ask the brother/mother about, though I'm facebook friends with both of them.

I can only assume he'll get a life sentence. He was 19 at the time so he shouldn't get off on any minor charges and given that it was quite clearly premeditated (although not thought through very well) I can't see them letting him off with anything less.

[–]Clark_K 26 points27 points ago

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Mine ended up going fully bald and becoming some rich industrialist who keeps trying to take over the world and shit.

[–]meztastic 3 points4 points ago

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well played

[–]KarmaKaiser 0 points1 point ago

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I hear he's running for president.

[–]Final7C 14 points15 points ago

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He became the more successful and better looking version of me. He got the same degree I did, joined the army, and is now a Retirement Planner in Phoenix. I am a guy with a BS:BA working as a Drafter in Kansas. :|... I lost... either that, or I am the arch enemy... and he won..

[–]270_rotation 5 points6 points ago

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this makes a valid point: Who's your enemy's archenemy?

[–]magicker71 3 points4 points ago

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Which makes me realize reading all these bully askreddits... everyone always paints themselves as the good guy in these. Surely there's a few Redditors with the balls to admit that they were assholes picking on everyone.

[–]lazyegg 3 points4 points ago

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I'll admit it. I wasn't a bully, I didn't fight kids, but I was kind of a manipulative and insulting little shit. In middle school I was the popular kid and kind of helped dictate who was cool and worth hanging out with, while embarrassing and harassing other kids. That being said, I was thinking about this thread "who is my archenemy?" and I couldn't come up with anyone, then I realized I was kind of the dick in most interactions when I was a kid.

I went to a an inner-city (ghetto) high school, however. Complete with metal detectors, guns, shootings, gangs, and lots of drugs. I got beat up and rolled a couple time for money and what not, but I wouldn't consider them my arch enemy. All those kids are either dead, in jail, or working at McDonalds. So if they were my archenemies, they didn't really put up much of a fight. I make that $40 they stole every hour now. ;)

[–]likzuz 0 points1 point ago

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Do you mind me asking where you work. I'm interning as a drafter in an Engineering firm based in Kansas.

[–]jxf 21 points22 points ago

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We were rivals in our mutually shared sport from the beginning. Though we went our separate ways, it seemed like every time we met we'd get into a scuffle, with no provocation at all on my part. At times my mere presence was enough to enrage him. Despite being a minor at the time, we eventually we faced off in a brutal clash of the titans in a national championship.

Anyway, I kicked his ass and made it to the Elite Four.

[–]hchuckyang 8 points9 points ago

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What Pokemon did Poop-Face end up with?

[–]Cammanjam 4 points5 points ago

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I believe that would end up as "Poopfac"

[–]DrTornado 0 points1 point ago

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Off topic: anyone seen those lame new starter pokemon?

[–]magicker71 1 point2 points ago

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Even after he swept your leg?

[–]choamsky 8 points9 points ago

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He's going to MIT, I, um, am not.

[–]270_rotation 5 points6 points ago

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if it's for undergrad, just go to grad school at MIT (and get a company to pay for you to go!)

[–]gibson_ 1 point2 points ago

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I think if you're going to grad school at MIT, MIT pays for it.

[–]bearmace 1 point2 points ago

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I think if you're going to grad school for your phd at MIT, MIT pays for it.

FTFY

[–]gibson_ 0 points1 point ago

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Hmm...thanks. A friend of mine is going there for their PhD, but they already had a masters; MIT is paying their tuition...which includes getting another master's degree.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Pizzadude 8 points9 points ago

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One of the guys who used to bully me, beat me up, and sleep with my girlfriend the most (yes, one of the guys who used to sleep with my girlfriend the most, lol) showed up when I was tutoring for Tau Beta Pi (engineering honors group). He was a few years older than I was, but as a junior in college, I was trying to teach him high school level math, which he just couldn't grasp.

Then he died in a car accident while driving drunk.

[–]jazztickets 0 points1 point ago

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Guess the fucker had it coming, huh?

[–]Pizzadude 2 points3 points ago

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Oh, I don't know if I'd be that vindictive over the bullying or whatever, but I do consider it a good thing when a drunk driver manages to kill himself without hurting anyone else.

[–]Dispelwolf 0 points1 point ago

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I don't suppose you went over "Car + Drunk driver = Crash"?

[–]willionaire 9 points10 points ago

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Spinach? Oh, I heard he's doing just fine these days.

[–]tidderor 6 points7 points ago

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I was a smart, nerdy girl in high school and was tormented by a pack of those mean-girl cheerleader types. One of them, Tammy, was especially mean to me.

Fast forward many years; I'm a lawyer and my clients took me out on the town celebrating a big win in a case. We celebrated in high style, Dom Perignon and filet for all.

Guess who had to wait on us?

[–]darqstar 4 points5 points ago

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This isn't an archenemy, but it is in the vein of comeuppance.

The girl who obliterated my heart in high school sent me a friend request on Facebook a few months ago.

She is now obese and lives in a trailer park with her 5 children.

I wish I could say this did not please me, but it did. I was very satisfied that her life choices had brought her to such a state of affairs. She broke my heart when I was 16.

[–]Angry_Caveman_Lawyer 4 points5 points ago

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Or...she saved you from the same situation.

That could be you, married to an obese woman living in a trailerpark with 5 kids.

bullet=dodged, IMO.

[–]DontCareWhatYouThink 7 points8 points ago

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Some asshole who gave me shit verbally and physically during junior high. In retrospect he had a deformity and was probably lashing out as such, but still, fuck him. This was 10 years ago and last I heard he dropped out of high school and became a meth addict.

Hope that fucker enjoys sucking dick just to get a score!

Call me immature or whatever, but even if he came up to my face to apologize, i'd probably kick him in the balls and slam the door in his face, even though my life has been nothing but fantastic since I last knew him.

[–]magicker71 1 point2 points ago

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Some things don't ever deserve forgiveness. Upvote.

[–]kraftymiles 15 points16 points ago

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My archenemy bullied me from the age of 10 to about 18. I was very pleased to hear that he'd killed himself at age 30.

[–]Capnstank 8 points9 points ago

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In a weird sort of way I like your closing.

When someone dies everyone speaks as if they were a saint. Unless they were convicted of some horrendous crime everyone speaks so highly of the deceased.

Sometimes... they're a dick and effectively ruined another person's entire childhood. Just sometimes... they had it coming and I'm not afraid to say that they got what was coming to them.

[–]kraftymiles 0 points1 point ago

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It was reported in the local paper, including the line (which will stay with me forever) stating that is was a "bit of a live wire in school". I wrote to the paper i nquestion pointing out that this "live wire" broke by nose on my first day in school.

[–]OvenCookie 0 points1 point ago

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I wish my archenemy would kill himself, how lucky are you!

[–]EllaMai 5 points6 points ago

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My elementary school tormentor dropped out of our small town highschool and had three kids. Last I heard, she is working at Walmart in the same small town, and a single mom.

I'd like to be the bigger person and say I get no satisfaction from this info, but I can't. I do feel justified in my schadenfreude when I hear this person who made my life miserable in school is still a giant cunt and social services is investigating her due to her involvement with the crystal meth pushers who live with her.

[–]magicker71 0 points1 point ago

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Upvote for using the word schadenfreude

[–]unoriginalusername 12 points13 points ago

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...and to think, when I slap 12 year old girls, they call it a felony.

[–]misterTaco 6 points7 points ago

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Only because you are slapping their asses.

[–]willhill 6 points7 points ago*

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Still lives down the street from me. Douchebag made fun of me for having a dead father when we were both around 6 or 7. I am 22 now and have not said a word to him since that day, despite living ~300 feet from him.

[–]mechtonia 5 points6 points ago

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In 2nd & 3rd grade I was a very sheltered, socially underdeveloped white kid in a school that was 90%+ black. I'm wasn't prejudice then or now but school was a little like being thrown into a foreign country where I barely knew the language for 7 hours every day. Psychologically it was very tough for me.

We had this one handicap kid, Jason, that was in a wheel chair that was the all-time pitcher in kick ball at recess for obvious reasons. Well one day he decided not to pitch but was still rolling around in the middle of the field. I was rolled a bad pitch and instinctively threw the ball back to Jason. I have no idea why but he was offended at this and rolled over and punched me in the face. Its the only time in my life that I have ever been punched. I just stood there dazed. No one did anything and the game resumed. Jason was never disciplined.

It was as if we were archenemies and no one had told me. He obviously harbored some deep hate for me that I had been totally oblivious to. I never had anything against him and didn't really harbor bad feelings towards him after the event. I just avoided him.

Years later I still see Jason rolling around town every now and then. Still wheel-chair bound. And me walking around at 6'5" 200lbs and in good health. I wonder if he remembers me and that day. I wonder if he considered me an archenemy or if he just liked to randomly punch skinny white boys.

tl;dr: handicap kid punched me in the face in 2nd grade. He is still in wheel chair. I am not. :(

[–]SOhp101 0 points1 point ago

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I would put a happy face at the end of your post. Just because he's in a wheelchair doesn't give him the right to punch someone else in the face, unless you threw it in such a way that would have been virtually impossible for someone in a wheelchair to catch.

[–]mechtonia 0 points1 point ago

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It was just a toss. And he caught it. But still, even if I hated his guts I wouldn't wish a lifetime of disability on him.

[–]HighOnAmbien 6 points7 points ago

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This kid I used to be friends with turned bad overnight. He would get into a fight with anyone. One day he didn't show up for school but we didn't think anything of it. A week later he shows up in a wheelchair. It turns out someone had enough of his shit and beat him half to death. As if that wasn't punishment enough, he eventually had a fight with his uncle, knocked him down and killed him. He is now serving life without parole. I'm not saying karma had anything to do with it, but he sure deserved something.

[–]blanketyblanks 5 points6 points ago

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How did he beat his uncle up from a wheelchair ?

[–]afilatun 15 points16 points ago

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I guess he wanted to...

●-●

Stand up for his rights.

[–]blanketyblanks 7 points8 points ago

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Yyeaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[–]HighOnAmbien 1 point2 points ago

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That was years later, sorry for the mistake.

[–]blanketyblanks 2 points3 points ago

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no harm no foul - I had pictured some murderball style action..

[–]6995 5 points6 points ago

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She's my facebook friend. She's a stripper in her 30s, apparently on the day shift. I won't lie and say I don't laugh from time to time.

[–]jhend 1 point2 points ago

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Day shift strippers: at least they come with a free buffet...or is it the other way around.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]FetishOutOfNowhere 1 point2 points ago

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wait... what?

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I'm not following the story. Donald Hamilton is the guy who looked you up? He didn't end up getting convicted?

[–]Prysorra 0 points1 point ago

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Criminal weave tight webs.

[–]saywhaaaat 3 points4 points ago

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The only kid I ever truely HATED was in kindergarden.

I had OCD/was germaphobic at the time, so this kid just got to me.

Every fucking day his mom would pack him a coffee yogurt lunch (I have to no idea why) and he would eat it and then not wipe his mouth, so for the rest of the day he'd parade around with a crusty yogurt moustache. Disgusting.

We also had a snake for a class pet, and one day it shit on him. He tried to rub it off, but that made it worse. He claimed it was a coffee yogurt stain. Disgusting.

After that year, we went to different schools, until 5th grade he transfered into mine. We slowly became pseudo-friends (more like "frenemies") over the next year until 6th grade when I actually started to like him.

We've been best friends ever since.

[–]notandxor 1 point2 points ago

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haha!

[–]Syphon8 11 points12 points ago

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You fucking people had archenemies?

What the hell?

[–]Capnstank 3 points4 points ago

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You were the archenemy of some poor sap.

[–]TiredMold 4 points5 points ago

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I found out in late highschool that there was a guy who hated me with a passion. I had no idea, because I had never spoken to him before.

[–]aliasweird 4 points5 points ago

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Probably because you asked a girl out that he liked while he was playing the nice-guy routine.....

[–]Mockstairwell 1 point2 points ago

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One of these days, TiredMold. One of these days....

[–]saywhaaaat 0 points1 point ago

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No, no, he just wasn't even cool enough to have one.

[–]Capnstank 1 point2 points ago

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My arch-enemy in my younger days was forced away from all his friends in a very public breakup of his parents. Haven't heard from him since... but his younger sister really filled out...

Mid-school arch-enemy who thought he was God's gift to sports now works a dead-end entry job because apparently he's not as good at hockey as he thought and instead of advancing his education or getting a job he chased a dead-end dream.

High-school enemy is an alcoholic. Not a bad guy and I sort of feel bad for him time to time but then I think of all the shit I put up with from him. I consider the kindest thing I can do to/for him is to just stay out of it.

[–]Matthandsome 2 points3 points ago

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We teamed up to save our town from evil overlords.

[–]liesbyomission 2 points3 points ago

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Her mother always implied to my mother that her child was smarter than I was because the girl got into the gifted program at school a year earlier. She went to a state college with her high school sweetheart, married him, and moved to Texas with him while he went to grad school. She now writes for some magazine on natural/organic living. (I went to an Ivy, but Princeton rejected her.)

Not nearly as exciting as all these dark tales of drug abuse and suicides, but hey, many of your childhood enemies probably turned out to be normal people too. I haven't wasted energy on hating her for a long time, anyway.

[–]saywhaaaat 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah, ewww a state school ha

[–]your_highness 2 points3 points ago*

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X got a job at my parents' shop by lying, my parents fired X for being a lousy worker, X's SO broke up with X, X is being prevented from accomplishing life goals, and X recently got hit in the head by a heavy object. Why was I ever contemplating revenge when I was younger when life went ahead and did it for me?

[–]krizo 2 points3 points ago

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He lived a couple of houses down from me. Sometimes when I'd be riding my bike past his house he'd throw rocks at me to get me to fall. I hated him so much. The summer after 8th grade, I saw him sitting on his front porch crying. At first I thought "good, he deserves a little pain." but then I felt bad. I approached him and asked what was wrong and he said his parent were getting divorced. I told him that I was sorry and sat with him for a while.

I got up to leave and he thanked me for being with him. I felt good about that.

About a month into the next school year him and almost his entire family was killed in a car accident. His sister was the only one to survive.

[–]thedude37 2 points3 points ago

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I don't know, but if he's reading this:

Jack Kinamore, I fucking hate you and recommend you never, ever, EVER find me.

[–]Inappropriate_Remark 11 points12 points ago

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When I was younger, some bitch slapped me when I was fucking with this other girl for giving my big brother herpes. I vowed to get the bitch back. I plotted for years. I concocted a scheme where I would fake my death with 3 of my close friends to make her think I was dead, then get a sex change and some plastic surgery to make myself look like a middle-aged man. I even grew a ponytail. One day, while I was following her, she made the mistake of walking alone, at night, through a subdivision I knew very well. I decided that now was a good time to fuck with her, so I made a couple rounds with my old civic to freak her out a little bit and make her think I was some kidnapper who was gonna rape her. She finally noticed me and started running and cutting through trees, so I hopped out of my car and went after her. She hid underneath some bush or something (I knew she was there because her breathing was so loud), but I pretended like I didn't know where she was and kept searching for a few more minutes to freak her out some more before I went home to celebrate my victory with some cheerios.

Best bowl of cereal in my life.

[–]lovecraftjohnson 4 points5 points ago

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I must read reddit too much because I caught the reference. I upvoted you back to 0, for making me laugh.

[–]snakebite654 0 points1 point ago

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Explanation?

[–]busted_up_chiffarobe 1 point2 points ago

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One has a criminal record for domestic abuse (so you like to beat your wife? didn't see that one coming!) and has moved from crappy job to crappy job. His dad just lost his job. I steered people away from the place where he worked for years and like to think it might have helped them tank in some small way. His dad is a tremendous bully and douchebag and made sure his kids were the same way.

One's around town and I have no idea what he's up to. I see him now and then at restaurants and steer very, very clear. This was the psychopathic guy who was very cruel and had a handful of equally flat out mean brothers. I wish him nothing but sterility and adversity and hardship.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Last I heard, my middle-school bully was addicted to meth. I'm gonna go with I came out on top of that one.

[–]Pr4370r1u5 1 point2 points ago

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He's in jail.

[–]Brokenhighman 1 point2 points ago

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My old arch enemy was on my kindergarten T-ball team. I am a male and the douche was an ogre like female named Teresa. Everytime I went up to bat or catch/throw a ball she would make fun of me to no end. If I dropped the ball or screwed up she would smack me. I never played baseball again after that and it ruined my experience with it for life.

Fast forward 17 years and now she has gone to rehab for coke addiction, has 2 kids(She is 21) with 2 different baby daddys, and has gotten obese after rehab.

[–]saywhaaaat 0 points1 point ago

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Dude, I think she liked you.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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All my "enemies" started being nice to me.

[–]Capnstank 0 points1 point ago

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1) Are you a chick and suddenly became attractive?

2) Are you a dude with some sort of "cred"? Car/woman/money.

3) I wont pretend I understand women so fill in this one with whatever women envy and would put on a face to have. Nice handbag?!


Maybe you got lucky but all my "enemies" turned out to be shallow two-faced pricks that only really showed you any respect when they were after something.

[–]i_am_j 1 point2 points ago

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died in a car accident in high school.

related: he was one of a handful of people that no one liked. He wrecked on his way in to school one morning and everyone found out by way of mouth. During my first period class, my friend took out a piece of paper, titled it "Hit List" and listed everyone we hated with said dead person first on the list and crossed off.

Damn, high school kids (including my friend and myself) were mean and messed up. I'm guessing there's a good chance he had problems at home and no one ever took the time to care. Making a joke about his death is one of those many things I regret, looking back. :(

[–]LurkingGrue 0 points1 point ago

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If the police had seen that list, you'd have been fucked. How would they know you didn't set up the accident to kill him? Stuff like that happens.

[–]i_am_j 0 points1 point ago

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I know, right? it was a stupid and unfunny joke.

[–]notjawn 1 point2 points ago

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I dunno, I guess got fat and cuts lawns now? Just wanted to say the OP was beautifully written :)

[–]lowfat_raisin 1 point2 points ago

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This kid Erik, who I welcomed very warmly when his family moved in down the street from me, spent grades 5-7 beating me up, manipulating other kids into beating me up, and otherwise sadistically torturing me.

In my late 20s, I googled him to find he was embroiled in some controversy where he'd written an extremely over-the-top racist, sexist, and homophobic rant for his university's newspaper, which I wish I could find. That's all I know.

[–]tranceboy81 1 point2 points ago

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Thrown out of a van while going round a roundabout (circle) without wearing a seatbelt. Smacked his head on the curb at about 30 miles an hour. Brains everywhere but not a tear was shed.

[–]MaverickConformer 1 point2 points ago

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He raped a girl a few years ago but no legal action was taken.

He now has a mullet and drinks a lot of lite beer.

[–]GunParade 0 points1 point ago

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Sounds like a winner...

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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He owns a company that manufactures spray paint.

Only die-hard Golden Girls fans will get this one.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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Let me go ask my gay brother.

[–]wbarco 4 points5 points ago

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I'm gay and don't get this reference. Let me in on your findings, so I can hold up my gay cred.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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my bother owns ever season of golden girls. haha. heart him to death.

[–]wbarco 0 points1 point ago

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aww; your comment makes me wish i got along with my straight brother

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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haha. yeah we are really close. Im closer to him than my other brother who is straight. im really glad I have him.

[–]GenJonesMom 1 point2 points ago

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Dead.

[–]mockjr 1 point2 points ago

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Holy mother of fuck. Nearly everyone's archnemisis in this thread ended up dead or in jail. This is astounding to me. I honestly came here expecting these cock-monglers to all be super successful...

[–]bcos4life 1 point2 points ago

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He always called me retarded, and got everyone to gang up against me in any sport, activity, etc. He manipulated everyone around him and was the classic "King of High School" prick. He was almost 2 years older than me and when he graduated, we all knew he would go nowhere. I was a Senior in High School and was also the manager of a little pizza shop. He came in one day and said "I need a job man. That school wasn't for me." I hired him on the spot and made his life suck. His best day was the day I left for school. Fast forward 3 years. I married the love of my life, have a great job, and just bought a house. I talked to his Dad the other day. (His dad and mine are buddies) And found out that he has failed out of 3 schools, lives at home, got fired from the job I gave him for smoking pot in the store, got fired from another because he stole, and has no real prospects. The only thing that bugs me though is that he still is popular amongst our town and still gets hot chicks that are going to school and have NO business with his loser ass.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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She has a two year old (we're 20) and she's still a bitch.

[–]poopmast 1 point2 points ago

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Sells sunglasses at those annoying nyc street fairs where they sell the same crappy smoothies, and cold falafels.

[–]TheCodexx 3 points4 points ago

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In Kindergarten up through the 2nd grade, there was this kid who pretended to be my friend (at least for awhile, before I caught on) but then proceeded to treat my like crap. It progressively got worse, with some of the worst moments being a time he repeatedly got up and rammed into me as I was stuck on his couch (we were 5 and his mom ignored it. WTF?) and on several occasions made me eat grass.

But it's alright. By high school he became a pothead who got attention by skating and showing off how strong he was. If you wanted to find him, he'd be with the group of potheads every day after school.

I count that as a win. /r/trees might disagree with me, but who cares about their opinion, they're potheads.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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not cool dude. not cool.

[–]mucusplug 0 points1 point ago

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rammed into me as I was stuck on his couch

What? You got waped?

[–]TheCodexx 0 points1 point ago

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No. More like he'd just stand a few feet away, charge at full speed, and then jump and tackle me. It's not like the couch was well cushioned, either. He repeatedly did this for several minutes, taking about a few seconds to rotate through all the actions.

It sucked.

[–]Angry_Caveman_Lawyer 0 points1 point ago

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and you were incapable of raising your foot in front of you?

WTF?

[–]TheCodexx 0 points1 point ago

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I was 5. My social contact at that point had been minimal. I was just so panicked and surprised by the attack in the first place that I had no clue WTF was really going on.

[–]Angry_Caveman_Lawyer 0 points1 point ago

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that's crazy.

[–]TheCodexx 1 point2 points ago

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I suppose it was my first real experience with violence. My experience in the world at that point can be summed up as:

  • Anything learned in my few weeks of Kindergarten.

  • Anything I saw watching cartoons previous to my attending school.

Sorry, but that was one situation DuckTales did not prepare me for.

[–]plexxonic 1 point2 points ago

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I stomped a mud hole in the mother fucker, problem solved.

[–]IAmAGuy 0 points1 point ago

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Did you kick it dry?

[–]plexxonic 1 point2 points ago

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It's the only way to do it Sir.

[–]IAmAGuy 0 points1 point ago

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Good to know. I am glad there are other fine gentlemen who can do the same.

[–]sreyemhtes 0 points1 point ago

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The one got hit by a train walking on tracks after an evening of derelict behavior (used to sneak up behind me w his bully compatriots, pull a ski mask over my head and jab me in the ass w a pin). Good times.

The other, much less effective as a bully, became, near as I can figure, a very successful financial planner / CFO.

50/50

[–]orbitaddict 0 points1 point ago

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She got a full ride to a very prestigious school.. I always hated her for being better than me at everything amongst all the other shit she put me through.

[–]h20falz 0 points1 point ago

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After we graduated high school, she went to college and I went into the military. Four years later, i'm getting retired from the military and going to school for free and she's up to her chin in student loans and jacking off cows for a living.....funny how things work out.

[–]bastard_operator 0 points1 point ago

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I was really lucky growing because while I was a massive, massive nerd, I was also a MASSIVE nerd; I'm 6 foot 4 inches tall, and about 230 pounds. Back then, I used to hike, ride dirtbikes, swim, play tennis, and bike like it was my job, so I was in pretty good shape.

Sorry to sound arrogant, but I was also much much more intelligent than the any of the people who made fun of me for not being "cool" like them. I would make fun of them, to their face, in front of the class, and only the teacher and I would know it; it was awesome.

Oh dear god...was I the asshole?

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

[–]dailydishabille 0 points1 point ago

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In middle school I was relentlessly bullied by a malodorous miscreant name of William. He had a bowl haircut, piggish eyes, and really cool skate shoes.

He wouldn't let my look at his pogs, and he always asked me why I was "such a huge retard faggot", and why I wore the same pants every day.* Young William loved to comment on the poor condition of my parents' minivan, the general crappiness of the neighborhood where I lived, and the crudity of my haircuts, which he presumed my mother must give me. That last bit stung like hell because my mother did in fact cut my hair, and I knew she didn't do a great job of it, but I loved when she would cut it because we would talk for hours.

William was a shitfuckbitchasscockgoddamn.

Fast forward about fifteen years, and I'm stopping by Domino's Pizza on my way to a friend's birthday party. Since I had just left work I was a bit distracted and the purchase of the pizzas was being phoned in on my part.

I really only looked up when the cashier handed me my change. And just whose clammy paw did I find grasping the proffered currency? I'm sure you've guess it: One William Dillsack, fucknut to the stars.

I smiled as magnanimously as I could, (and honest to gosh, I really did try to keep from being too smug) thanked him and bid him a good night.

Sure, I wanted to rant and rave and explain to this offal-bucket just what kind of damage he had done to my self-esteem. I wanted to tell him about how my family didn't have much money, and how I knew that I was a loser, and the he had reduced me to tears, to screaming, to playing sick so that I wouldn't have to share a locker room with him in gym class.

But I didn't.

I didn't because William made me tougher. His bullying made me stronger. As I've grown older I've begun to understand that how I digest and process the actions of others is incredibly important to my mental health and stability. In that brief moment as I turned away from the counter I forgave William.

Then I met my ex at my friend's birthday party. All things considered, I call the whole night a wash.

* My family wasn't particularly wealthy and the majority of my pants were khakis purchased from thrift stores. I didn't wear the same pants, they just looked awfully similar.

[–]almostlucid 0 points1 point ago

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He turned into an overweight alcoholic that toils doing manual labour. It's the kind of perfect fate for him; one that's horrible, but one that doesn't make me feel bad when I laugh about his misfortune. Great success!

[–]darktask 0 points1 point ago

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I used to have an archenemy. I don't anymore

[–]gsxr 0 points1 point ago

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Jail or working at a gas station. Depending on which one.

[–]magicker71 0 points1 point ago

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I'm still looking for the fuckers.

[–]anonymouslives 0 points1 point ago

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I'm my own archenemy, as a child and as an adult.

[–]RobertPaulsen 0 points1 point ago

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I started writing about this, then I realized that most everyone else it's a peer, for me it was a teacher. We are still rivals to this day and the students love watching our conflict.

[–]celesfar 0 points1 point ago

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Mine was actually stabbed in a drunken fight about four blocks away from my house late last year.

Somehow. I didn't feel so happy or that he had it coming.

[–]shadow1515 0 points1 point ago

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This one kid used to be a dick to me all the time. In 6th grade he tried to start a fight with me. It was in the middle of art class so it only consisted of him shoving me and then me pushing him onto the floor, but I went total rage mode because it just came out of nowhere.

Anyway, he died in a car crash like 3 years later because the driver was on E and couldn't negotiate a turn.

[–]wedgiey1 0 points1 point ago

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He has a really hot wife, a lot of kids, and works un-skilled labor.

[–]afilatun 0 points1 point ago

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One guy I hated tried to hit on the girl I had a crush on. He used to pick on everyone for random reasons. He was saying really nasty stuff about her to a group of guys (which I was part of) before going to dance with the said girl. I did the "will you excuse me" thing and stole him the girl mid-dance. I went out with her for a while after that.

Ho and we used to get into lousy fight where none of us would want to seriously hurt the other so we simply looked stupid in a semi-judo/jiujitsu fight.

He's now doing extreme fights (saw him on facebook), won a lot of them, weight about 200 lbs of muscle :(. He looks really badass. I really don't want to see him again.

[–]foxual 0 points1 point ago

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I competed academically with a girl names Barbara Beckingham when I was in 2nd through 4th grade. We were 1-2 in the all the gifted kids classes. I then moved out of the district and never heard about her again.

[–]mahade 0 points1 point ago

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He kinda died of cancer. Too bad though, turned out to be a pretty decent guy..

[–]Mnementh2230 0 points1 point ago

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Let's see...

From what I can tell, he's a miserable wreck of a man (lots of really bad decisions), but I really don't care anymore. My family moved away before things got really out of hand with this bully (another year or two of the abuse and I might have done something really drastic), and I learned to move on. I'm a better person now specifically because I didn't want to be anything like that asshole, and while suffering through that bullshit firsthand was unnecessary, my archenemy provided a great example of who not to be.

[–]jeanlucdickhard 0 points1 point ago

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Definately didn't go to college... still lives at home with his parents... hasn't had a steady job, ever.

[–]Konic 0 points1 point ago

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Mine is in jail for trying to rob the store he was working at. Completely High, then went back to work after said incident.

[–]WoundedImmortal 0 points1 point ago

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Male nemesis: Committed suicide in high school.

Female nemesis: Got married, and had a little girl. The baby was shaken to death, the baby sitter was the prime suspect. Her marriage didn't last long after her little girl died.

[–]lonoi 0 points1 point ago

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He's living in a lunatic asylum. He developed some kind of mental disorder after several years of abusing drugs: ketamine, cocaine, heroine, LSD,... you name it, he was a user of it.

He though he was a tough guy in High School, but last time I saw him, I felt even sorrow for him.

[–]michalfabik 0 points1 point ago

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Went to prison some years ago for hijacking a streetcar and stabbing somebody in the process. He's out now but I haven't heard of him for some time, I think he got himself some shit job and is trying to lead a decent life.

[–]grahampaige 0 points1 point ago

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wrapped themselves round a telegraph pole whilst drunk.

[–]systemlord 0 points1 point ago

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One of them died in a car crash. He had been drinking. He was 23 or so.

The other one is a hardcore drug addict, he's been in and out of jail for most of his adult life.

YaY! I win the game of life!

[–]BaconZombies 0 points1 point ago

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I moved around a lot between parents, so ended up going to 9 different schools K-12, and I picked at least one up at every school.

I can't remember a single one of them.

Oddly, I've found out lately (through the wonders of Facebook) that most of my closest friends from back then are just as forgettable, or that I'm almost completely at odds with them now.

[–]Thrown_Away 0 points1 point ago

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Serving life for murder at San Quentin. He has been there 20 years already. Makes me smile just thinking about it. Unfortunately someone had to die for him to get his deserved incarceration.

[–]DarrenEdwards 0 points1 point ago

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Jay was my brother nemesis in grade school, but by junior high he had flunked twice and became my nemesis. This kid was the kid that aspired to be Beavis. He was nowhere near as intelligent or funny. He would answer every question with "George Burns." After 3 years of 7th grade they passed him to 8th grade, with us. This was another year of him. I got bullied and at one point fought back. This was a pudgy 17 year old in 8th grade who drove to school.

On his 18th birthday, and the school no longer had to keep him, the principal barred him from entry.
When the community needed funding for the D.A.R.E. program the police took everything he owned, then gave him community service installing D.A.R.E. signs around the county. When I planned to spray paint an 'n' on the end of the signs, he stopped me because he knew he was going to have to fix them.

Last I heard he got a girl pregnant. She moves to get away from him, he moves to be close to her, repeat for the last 15 years. He is only sometimes employed.

[–]mikeyb1 0 points1 point ago

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We became friends as adults and he died in a plane crash.

[–]mahelke 0 points1 point ago

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I had two childhood archenemies. The first one used to be my best friend when we were in second grade. We got in a fight because he wouldn't stop taunting me and I beat him up. The next year, I switched schools so I didn't see him again until high school. When we talked in high school, he had become a staunch, outspoken, overconfident republican. He was nice enough for me not to dislike him and we actually laughed about our fight in the second grade, but I really didn't talk to him too often. Now, he goes to the same university as me and has become a douchey frat bro.

My other archenemy was friends with me until the fourth grade, when we got into a verbal fight over something I can't remember. It quickly escalated into a physical fight and I beat him up and ran home. I still had to carpool with him to school every day until high school, and we didn't really talk much. In high school, he got mixed up in a bad crowd and got caught doing all sorts of drugs by his parents. After being sent to rehab, he went to a community college in our hometown and is now in culinary school. He's actually turned out to be a pretty nice guy and we hang out on occasion.

TL;DR One archenemy became a douchey fray bro, another got caught doing tons of drugs by his parents, went to rehab, and is now in culinary school.

[–]gzip_this 0 points1 point ago

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During the fourth grade I met him on the field of battle by the school swing set and crushed and vanquished him. Then I listened to the lamentations of his kid sister. Good times.

[–]ultricity 0 points1 point ago

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He got fat!

[–]skarface6 0 points1 point ago

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Don't know. I moved away and totally forgot about him until you mentioned it. Jerk.

[–]P41G3 0 points1 point ago*

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This girl I knew since about 5th grade, let's call her Marie. No animosity between us until 10th grade, when her boyfriend dumped her and started dating me. She went all crazy jealous bitch, even after he and I ended our relationship. (He was a selfish prick, as it turned out.)

After high school we went to different colleges in the same area. She got pregnant almost immediately, then married the guy. Apparently she got even more pear shaped than she was in high school, which I have a hard time fathoming, she was astoundingly pear shaped even back then.

Anyhow, she got divorced, and several years later I hear she married the guy who dumped her for me back in 10th grade. I lol'd.

EDIT: added some backstory.

[–]destria 0 points1 point ago

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There was a girl my mother always compared me to. Her name was Cassy. My mother considered her smarter, better looking, more popular, more friendly, more polite etc. than I was through most of my childhood. Often, she'd lament, "Why can't you be more like Cassy?"

Fast forward a few years and Cassy dropped out of university because she wanted to party all the time. Moved in with some drug dealers. Frequently gets plastered and actually lost her driver's license from a DUI. Never contacts her parents except to borrow money.

[–]iorgfeflkd 0 points1 point ago

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Interests

Sigma Chi Fraternity, Las Vegas, Cars

[–]Theditor 0 points1 point ago

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Slapped a bitch. She died in a car crash.

Wow. what an arm.

I read your story, yes, but that TL;DR is something else entirely.

[–]neuneu 0 points1 point ago

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I've only had one enemy and for a while it seemed like she was stalking me for reasons I still do not understand.

We went to Catholic school together. I dated this guy for like 3 days, we broke up, she dated him immediately afterwards. During the time she dated this guy she HATED me, and pretty much made it her mission to be a total cow to me and turn all of her friends against me - I'm talking low blows and stupid, petty insults. She basically bullied me into leaving the school and to this day I have no idea why. We were friends before she dated this guy.

Then I switched to public school and everything was great. I joined the field hockey team and I had my first job working in a bakery. I also had a new boyfriend that I was with for a lot longer than 3 days. Half way through the school year she switched to my school. I have no idea why since she lived a town over, and none of her friends went there.

Then she joined the fieldhockey team. Then she got a job at my work (and was fired. that was so satisfying). Then she got a new job....at my boyfriend's work. And hung out with him there. Awesome.

We had a rivalry for the rest of highschool because, well basically I got sick of her coming down on me for no goddamn reason and decided to show up at some party and completely call her out in front of all her friends for who she really was: a crazy bitch.

All I know about her now is that she has a gross orange tan and that at some point after highschool she burnt down her parent's house by starting an oil fire (she thought water would put it out apparently).

[–]hammelltime 0 points1 point ago

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It wasn't childhood, but I met him in college.

He was one of those preppy, 'I'm such a cool ladies man' a-holes. Everything he did was awesome, he's the greatest and best at anything he tries, and no matter what job he was doing outside of classes he was always making tons of money.

Admittedly, he did well in his classes and only showed up about %50-%60 of the time, but his douche-bag attitude is what earned him the ire of the entire class, especially mine. I think he thought we were friends, or could tell I hated him, because he spent much time and effort describing his amazing douche-bag exploits to me.

If you've watched Clone High, it threw me into a rage quite similar to Scudworth's vendetta against John Stamos. I literally scream his name in rage.

Anyway, now I've moved a few provinces away, have a job I love, a fantastic girlfriend, tons of friends, I figured out how to use hair products, and have never been happier!

Meanwhile he's is still in University, hasn't finished his college degree, must be in his late twenties, hopping from job to job, and a friend of mine says he's still complaining about an ultimately meaningless university student election that he lost more than a year ago.

[–]druid_king9884 0 points1 point ago

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I actually looked this up a couple weeks ago. From what I researched, he graduated Wake Forest University and is now serving in the IDF.

[–]triceracop 0 points1 point ago

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Her dad's running for governor. Whoops, looks like I lose.

[–]jeffhopper 0 points1 point ago

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This may get downvoted to oblivion, but this is something I feel passionately about. There is a special place in hell reserved for assholes who text and drive. She deserved what she got. The other girls though, not so much, and that is the real tragedy.