What are some of the dumbest things you've done while high?

withnailandI · 1 year

My brother got stoned and drank a half-bottle of absinthe. He stood up, jumped the little condo fence and ran 30 ft straight into a lone tree (all the while giggling) and knocked himself out for a few minutes. It was without a doubt the stupidest, most pointless thing I've ever seen anyone do.

MrBrenny · 1 year

Was driving home very high one night and was convinced that the police would pull me over and drug test me (they can do that here) for having a dirty car. I stopped at an all night car wash at 4am and started washing my car.

Got distracted half way through and drove home with my car covered in soap.

modestmoose · 1 year

My buddy and I smoked a blunt and then decided to drive to a supermarket (she was driving) to pick up some munchies. She pulls into a spot, takes her keys out and proceeds to start getting out of the car. I was about to open my door to get out when I noticed that we were moving backwards and started yelling. Roughly fifteen seconds later, I realized that the car next to us was backing out, not us.
I usually don't get scared during scary movies. Startled, perhaps. Unnerved, sometimes. But I never feel like I'm going to shit my pants watching a movie. Well, the first time I watched Disturbia, I thought I was going to go into cardiac arrest, I was so scared. I watched movies like The Shining and The Exorcist before I was ten, and so I didn't understand how I could be so terrified of such a terrible movie. Turns out I was just super high.
I went out to dinner with my mom and some family and some family friends after smoking. Ate my dinner, satisfied my munchies, and proceeded to fall asleep with my face on the table.

EDIT: 4. I also forgot the time I ate an entire box of Captain Crunch. It was impressive if you account for the fact that I'm a pretty small girl (110-ish lbs), but completely dumb if you account for the fact that that shit cuts up the roof of your mouth like razor blades after more than a bowls worth.

jorgoth_king_of_bees · 1 year

Spoke with a voice in my head, then our roles got reversed and it was speaking through my mouth, and I was just the voice in my head. That night was the creepiest I've ever had. This personality speaking through my mouth was fully developed and I found myself doing random things because it wanted me to.

noelsusman · 1 year

I'm going to have to go with the time where I read this thread while high, and forgot what the topic was about 2-3 comments into it. I then started wondering why the fuck people were being so dumb. I felt smart and smug for a while reading stories about all of you being stupid as hell.

Then I scrolled back up and my mind was figuratively blown to pieces.

cassanova138 · 1 year

There was that one time I ran over that girl on the bicycle after getting fast food.

1950sGuy · 1 year

At some point during the night, I'll attempt to light my lighter with my bowl. I do this a lot.

HippoLauncher · 1 year

My friends and I spent a long time trying to figure out why my speaker system wasn't working. Most of that time consisted of pressing the same button over and over again, hoping it would do something different this time. It eventually occurred to us that there was no sound playing because the video was paused. I pressed play on the remote, and sure enough there was sound.

PedobearsBloodyCock · 1 year

My ex.

nightarrow · 1 year

I saw a plane in the sky during the dusk and said "Isnt it a little late to be flying", the girl next to me replies...."Did you seriously just say that?"
Ordering food, paying, and then driving off without the food, happened to me twice.

Queet · 1 year

Tripped over where my dog HAD been sitting.

Timid_Pimp · 1 year

Got really baked and went to get some fast food. They told me it would be a 10 minute wait, I could park to the side and they would bring my food out. They gave me my large drink so at least I had something to sip on while waiting in my car. Put some music on and totally zoned out. 10 minutes later the guy comes out with my food and another drink. He said he figured I had been waiting a while and could use a refill. I was too high to understand that the refill was free and first tried to pay him. When he wouldn't take the money I started freaking out and for some reason thought I wasn't allowed to have 2 drinks at once. I asked him if I had to finish my drink first before I could have the refill. Turns out he was trying to ask me if I needed a drink holder or if I wanted him to take my other drink if I was done with it. I thought he was demanding the 1st drink back so I attempted to finish half of a 32 oz drink in a couple of gulps (didn't want to keep the poor guy waiting). Well I ended up choking on the 2nd gulp, simultaneously spitting the soda back up while pouring the rest of the drink on my face. In my head I'm freaking out that this guy knows I'm high, for some reason I think I can still play it cool, so I calmly turn to the guy, pretend I hadn't just poured a cup of soda all over myself thanked him for the refill. He then asks if I wanted some napkins while trying not to laugh at me too hard. I said "yeah... napkins... sounds good..." and then drove away. I had no idea what happened at the time, but needless to say it was one of those embarrassing things you keep replaying in your head later and just facepalm at your own dumbness.

poutineeh · 1 year

I'll give this reddit thing a try. First post here.

So me and my best bud are going to see Quantum of Solstace along with the university's Glee Club and their friends. I rolled a joint for us to tackle in the car, but tried putting some kief in it for the first time. Normally I can handle myself while high, but even purchasing my ticket proved difficult after smoking this.

I sat in a row near some of the glee-clubbers, but not next to anyone I knew because my verbal skills just dropped to the level of an infant.

So everyone in the theatre is chatting it up before the previews start. I'm sitting in my seat, stoned out of my mind, but not next to anyone I knew. However, the girl next to me strikes up a "conversation" with me. I put "conversation" in quotes because this usually involves a dialogue between both parties communicating back and forth. Normally when a stranger puts the effort in to strike up a conversation with me, I am more than obliged to match that effort and can hold my own. However, with me being nearly comatose, you'll see why the conversation was mostly in the uni-directional.

Girl: So, are you in the glee club?

Me [trying my best to make words]: No...

Girl: Oh, ok. Do you know someone in the glee club?

Me [trying harder since my last effort was a failure]: Yeah... My best friend Sean. I live with him.

Girl: Ok! So you live in the glee club house? You must know Todd then too, right? [Todd lived with us also]

[I'm getting self conscious at this point about my inability to converse, so I really try my best to muster up something with substance to get the conversation rolling] Me: You know Sean! [pause pause | can't think of anything | pause pause] [with a raised voice now] AND TODD!!!

Girl [bewildered look on her face now]: Ummm... Yeah... followed by her turning away to stare at the shitty pre-previews. Damn that was embarrassing.

After the movie, I told Sean the story and he summed it up perfectly by acting out the scene in Dumb and Dumb where Harry is filling up his car with gas and notices the skiis on the womens car next to em and says "They yours?" With her replying "Yeah...", followed by Harry asking "...Both of 'em???"

anonlawstudent · 1 year

The boy and I got really high when I was in London last semester. We did it for hours (edit: what seemed like hours) and then at 3am decided to go get some food. In fact, we were so hungry, we didn't even really get dressed. I was wearing just his shirt, and he was wearing his long coat with his boxers and nothing else.

So anyway, it's early November, cold as fuck, and we're running around looking for foods (like convenience store food, chips, ice cream, etc.). Excursion turns out to be futile, but we're horny again, so we end up doing it against some random car on the street.

Then we got less high, found our way home, and fell asleep.

HMSuperb · 1 year

I once got the milk out to make chocolate milk, forgot about it, roommate put it away for me. 2 hours later I rush out of the room exclaiming "shit I forgot to put the milk back!" but my roommate was like "nah I got you"

then, i took the milk out again, and eventually forgot about it. Came out like 30 minutes later this time a little embarrassed, and my roommate laughed at me and said he put it back again.

kmad · 1 year

I like how 99% of these involve food.

a_thousand_ninjas · 1 year

In the high-rise apartment building I was living in at the time, after toking up, I take my girlfriend up to the roof so I can show her the view. After enjoying the sunset I realize I forgot to prop open the door and now we're locked out. The only way we could get back down was to climb down fire escapes which in the city were covered with people's plants, etc. and right in front of their windows. It was also 12 stories down.

MattxNxG · 1 year

Very first time I ever smoked...

I got hit by a van.

distilledw · 1 year

Forgot to turn the car on at the gas station parking lot, chucked it in reverse anyway released the handbrake and then complained that the steering was really stiff as we started rolling.

leashlaw · 1 year

Bought a deluxe retirement package with a national RV club for several hundred dollars. I was 28 and don't own an RV.

drgonzo71 · 1 year

I was in the grocery store, staring at their selection of mustards for about 5 minutes...with my hand down my pants, scratching my balls.

Good times.

crazy15 · 1 year

Was finished with the ice cream and put it in the microwave (was going to put it back in the freezer). Didnt notice what I did until the next day when I opened the microwave to a huge mess of melted ice cream.

To clarify, I didnt turn the microwave on, just put the ice cream in there.

taintedhero · 1 year

I do the "Where the fuck did I put that cigarette?" and realize it's in my hand at least twice a month.

drmygermy · 1 year

accidentally gave myself bangs while sparking a bowl.

crazycatman · 1 year

Stuck a Wii remote in my house phone charger.

jjalsop · 1 year

Driving down a road at midnight or so on a Saturday. I come to a stoplight which was broken and stuck on red. Luckily, there was a group of workmen working on the stoplight on the street corner (that night I learned what those big metal things were near stoplights) to wave me through. Me, being super high and paranoid, didn't want to go through a red light. No matter how much they waved, I refused to go.

Eventually, cars pulled up behind me (it was a one way street). No matter how much they honked, I still refused to go. I sat there for 45 minutes until those guys fixed the light, happily listening to the radio and waiting patiently for it to turn green.

Narwhalmadness · 1 year

Got high in Egypt, out there they all have have stone floors. Turned all the taps on and flooded the house, then empty every soap bottle I could find and played the best game slip'n'slide ever.

Heavy_Medz · 1 year

I had some frozen chicken tenders and put three on a plate and warmed them up a little in the toaster oven. I ate 1 and a half of them before I noticed something was wrong. They were raw, didn't see it on the package.

rocketsurgery · 1 year

I got out some pizza and was going to put some crushed red pepper flakes on it. The jar was a fliptop lid, not a twist off. I twisted it off, tipped it, and lightly shook. All the pepper came out and went all over the floor and my pizza.

biguhtree · 1 year

Just last week my friend had a couple buddies over for a fire in his backyard. By around 11 his crazy neighbour starts to threaten us saying she'll call the cops. So, we all somberly head inside. To make ourselves feel better about 6 of us decide to go in our friend's bathroom to Hawaiian hot box. About ten minutes in we're stoned as shit and start talking about this lady who said she called the cops. We figured it was a bluff, mostly because our friend said she was insane. So, we start making all these jokes about how the cops would open the door to the hot box and start going to Hawaii with us.

After about 15 minutes, our friend opens the door and tell us to chill cause the cops had arrived and were around back. Naturally, we freak, put on our shirts (they were off because, let's face it: we were in Hawaii), and then rush into his parents bed room to chill out while our friend handles the cops. We peeked outside to see three cruisers all parked around my friend's place. We live in a small town and this was a Tuesday night, so I suppose they had nothing better to do Eventually, the cops left. But, as it turns out, they had arrived just as we started our hot box and were in the backyard, just underneath the bathroom window on the second floor whilst we were yelling about how the cops would come in and start hot boxing with us. And, they had stayed there for the full twenty minutes of our hot box before our friend came to warn us.

Not one of our brighter moments.

reignofkindo · 1 year

This just came to mind. About 4 years back, I was living with a couple of friends in a trailer in southern Indiana. The trailer wasn't the kind that had a porch, it just had a set of steps made from some relatively lightweight material. We were all baked, of course, and I decided to move the stairs a few feet to the right. I reasoned that it would be funny the next time someone came knocking (which happens all too often in a trailer park) and it would also be funny the next time one of us went to exit the trailer and forgot all about it. Either way, it was win/win. We climbed up into the trailer, laughing at my/our cleverness in this excellent idea. Presently, (26 seconds later, probably) we realized we had a dire need for FOOD and so made some Spaghettios. Eating them as I walk, I decide that I need to visit a neighbor for some reason I don't currently recall. I open the door, and well, obviously fall a few feet, into the car that's currently parked in the "driveway", getting my (hot!) Spaghettios all over myself, the ground, and the car. I sprained my ankle. Ironic, since I'm the one who thought it was such a good idea. God, was it hilarious. (Disclaimer: I've been drinking. Sorry if this is unclear or sloppy.)

tora22 · 1 year

[deleted]

OsakaWilson · 1 year

Went through the entire process of making and eating French toast. Butter, syrup, a sprinkling of powdered sugar. Ate it all up. The pan was never plugged in.

TheGoogleGuy · 1 year

i felt color, it had weight.

ricecake · 1 year

I had roughly the flowing exchange with a friend who was a more experienced smoker than me.

Dan.
yeah?
Hey dan.
What?
...
...
Dan.
Jesus Christ what?
I'm really high. titter and sip pop
... God dammit. titter

horse_fucker1234 · 1 year

I told my girlfriend that I wanted to marry her and have kids together. I did this multiple times. I was high on ecstacy and acid while this happened.

In retrospect it wasn't really dumb, but at the time I had no intentions on doing anything like that.

[deleted] · 1 year

I once ate macaroni and cheese with a giant serving fork. It took me until half the bowl was gone to figure out why it was so difficult to get the fork to fit into my mouth.

jhnsdlk · 1 year

I was high and getting ready for bed. Normally after I floss I just throw the discarded floss in the toilet. This time however, I never got to the floss. As soon as I was done brushing my teeth I threw my brush in the toilet.

SparkleMonkey · 1 year

Me and a buddy of mine got really baked one time and watched 2012. Waaaaaay more entertaining stoned. Anyway, right after that we watched Crank 2. The entire time we were watching Crank we kept asking each other why the fuck wasn't he trying to get off the planet? The world is going to shit and this guys kickin ass. We would always realize a while after it was a different movie but always ask it again a little later.....also our minds were BLOWN when we realized in 2012 they were actually submarines and not spaceships.

smeegy · 1 year

Very inappropriate sexual advances to a friend of mine. It made for an awkward couple of days. It seems like the only thing weed does to me is make me really horny and my legs tingle a bit. I don't get crazy epiphanies, munchies and nothing is all that funny. I'm really jealous of people who get that.

timelike · 1 year

I used to drive over to the beach really late (2 or 3 AM usually) at night to smoke. The beach was on a small island that's only connected to the main roads by a causeway. Anyway, one time I was driving back over the causeway to go home after smoking there. I glance in one of my car's mirrors and I see a flashing light behind me. I start freaking out because I think it's a cop or something, although I'm confused as to why the flashing light is yellowish. I start to slow my car down and I notice the light starts slowing down too. This only confuses me more. After several minutes of panic and confusion, I realize the light is the line of streetlights on the causeway flashing in my mirror as I'm passing them.

Stumpgrinder2009 · 1 year

I was cycling home late one night, I just took a right on a T-junction, and a car pulls up at the junction, stops, then reverses and drives back... I get paranoid. I carry on, its 12.30 getting late, just wanna get home, and a car passes me... its a guy in I think a suit, but deffo sunglasses, and he turned and stared at me... whilst slowing down, then he sped off. Paranioa is now setting in real bad, so I try and speed up down this road, but another car passes me. I swear down I saw the 'typical' family, mum dad boy girl, maybe a dog, all turn round and look at me as they drove past slowly... at 12.30am. I start freaking out, and cycling quicker, just wanna get home.... then another car passes me... This one had a camera on a tripod in the drivers seat, I could see the camera turn to film me, the red LED gave away the fact it was filming me. I just shit myself, and took a 'long-cut' home, took an alley to another road, and spent 30 mins getting home instead of 5, but got into bed safely and rocked myself to sleep repeating 'they cant get me here', then got up the next morning and had more brownies

SeanGone · 1 year

used to love getting baked and taking my wave runner out on the potomac. i had to stop by the marine supply store on the way. i pulled into the parking lot a little short. the back tire of the trailer hit the curb and the wave runner flipped out of the trailer. my wave runner flips on to its side causing about $800 in damage. all i could do at first was stare at it in disbelief as it laid there on its side in the parking lot. come to find out that my ex-wife hadn't ratcheted the waverunner correctly the last time we used it. she had just attached the ratchet from the wave runners tow hook directly to the wave runners tie down. it wasn't even tied down to the trailer. some stranger and his kid walk up and said 'quit fucking staring at it and flip it back over!' the three of us put it up right, and i still went out for my ride though it wasn't nearly as fun. i learned a few big lessons that day like always check to make sure the fucking waverunner is tied down correctly before you pull off, and don't get stoned before you leave. one of the biggest idiot moments of my life. i still look back and cringe.

Chocolope · 1 year

I smoked all my weed after I was already high.

372xpg · 1 year

Never smoked much in my life, ever, so i have little tolerance. In university (UBC Vancouver BC) I went with some guys from my dorm downtown to the "Art Gallery" (a semi private green cafe where they play awesome music, have art all over the walls and the best furniture to just chill on) We passed around several joints and bowls and I was incoherant, then one guy introduced us to fishermans friends while high, the dark green strong mint ones. The feeling is like your face is made of mint.

Anyways there were two left and the guy that brought them passed them to a friend across the table that asked for them, I grabbed them from the guy and ate them. Everyone there just stared at my stupid ass. I guess being that baker-fried turned me into a prick with the munchies. We went and got pizza and I don't know how I ended up getting some cause all I could do to communicate was nod and grunt.

th3juggler · 1 year

I was at a little get-together. My friend was too baked to pour his vodka, so I stepped up to try to save the day. I proceeded to dump cherry vodka all over the counter. We couldn't remember where the paper towels were, so we used a piece of bread.

The I grabbed my glass that I thought had water in it, because I forgot I had poured vodka earlier (I must have gotten side-tracked before I could pour the soda in). I quickly gulped down the 2 shots and immediately got all paranoid. "What the hell did I just drink? That couldn't have been water. Oh fuck, did I drink cleaning chemicals? Were we using that to clean up the spill on the counter?"

Immediately after that, I tried eating Sun Chips, but my mouth was far too dry. This, plus the involuntary shots, plus the bread-sponge caused me to drop to my hands and knees laughing so hard that I couldn't even spit out the bone-dry sun chips.

It was embarrassing because there were people there I didn't know.

[deleted] · 1 year

I got stupid high and make cookies. I was so excited when the oven timer started beeping that I grabbed the 400 degree cookie sheet with my bare hands.

[deleted] · 1 year

Me and my ex took some ecstasy then I went to CVS to get some gum. While in the store, the E kicked in full force.

I grabbed a bag of M&M's, the gum, and went to pay so I could get the hell back home. The clerk grabs the M&M's bag and holds it in the air and says "there's the same bag on sale over there!" and points to a big display of M&M's, I think they were 50% off or some shit.

I said "No I'll just take those. it's fine." But no, she really wanted me to get the on-sale ones. So she starts arguing with me to just go over and get it. Impossible. By now there's 4 people in line behind me and someone I know but didn't want to talk to walks into the store.

I finally said "I want those M&m's because the bag is yellow!" in an agitated voice. So she rings me - the weirdo - up and I get the fuck out of there as fast as I could.

putitdown · 1 year

placed chicken patties in the microwave. While waiting for them to finish, I heard a badass song. I started to rock out to it with my head hunched over the radio. My roommate walks in, asks "what are you doing?!" At that point I realized that I was actually leaning over the microwave rocking it to the hum of the kitchen appliance.
went into kitchen to pour a drink, left said drink on counter, went back to living room. Became angry because I made the trip without the goal being accomplished. Repeated this until I noticed I had poured 3 drinks.
at one point in my life, I thought about trying stand up. Before actually going through with it, I ended up trying out my routine with a few friends in the middle of the night in a public park. The nice officer wouldn't let me finish the set.
was pulled over after leaving a halloween party dressed as a generic ghoul with a tee shirt that read "Alec Baldwin". Tried to convince the officer that the smell he notice was an oil leak and not, in fact, ". Which, apparently, he bought, because I was let go.
used to peruse Digg.

iruber1337 · 1 year

Just finished cooking a pizza (I'm weird and like it somewhat burnt...no pun intended). While taking it out of the oven the circular pan rotated in the oven mit because I didn't have a good enough grip and burnt between my thumb and pointer finger. Immediately I drop the pan so my reaction of course was to catch it with the other hand and thanks to video games improving my reflexes, I did.

oh_god_a_dinosaur · 1 year

I'll also throw two out there.

One time after getting baked, me, my cousin, my friend and my cousin's boyfriend decided to make a movie about dinosaurs. We spent like 10 minutes writing up a script and then had my brother drive us out to a nearby taco bell parking lot where we acted out our stupid script. I was so super high that I was seriously staring to freak out. My cousin's boyfriend sneaked up behind me and went "RAWRRRRR!" while holding up his hands above my head. I screamed "OH GOD! A DINOSAUR!" so loud, then took off down the street with everyone chasing me. I wound up running about 12 blocks to another classmate's house and pounding on her door. Her mom opened up and I ran inside blabbing on about how there were dinosaurs chasing me. Parents called, lots of trouble, grounded for about a year straight.

Another time I was hanging out with a couple of friends getting baked. We were watching Apt Pupil and eventually got hungry enough to justify walking down the street to 7-11. Imagine seeing 2 hispanics, 1 asian and 1 black guy, goosestepping down the street throwing hitler salutes at passing cars... We're surprised the cops weren't called, since we also threw a salute to the clerk, but iirc he threw one back!

Just for fun, I tried to find the video we made a few years ago, but it may have been in the bag our camera was in when it was stolen.

ihatenameswithnumber · 1 year

After buying two bags of different strands of weed I mixed them together in one bag because, hey, 1 bag is easier to manage than 2 bags!

plasticine_crow · 1 year

[deleted]

clownprince_ · 1 year

I was helping a friend jump-start his truck... I accidentally placed the negative on the positive and vice-versa.

I fucked up his battery.. luckily, that was all I fucked up.

[deleted] · 1 year

I was in eighth grade and my buddies and I had gotten baked at lunch. P.E. was directly after lunch for me and we were running laps on the track. I got zoned out staring at clouds or whatever and I ran right into a bleacher next to the track. It didn't have one of those caps on the side so it was essentially just an exposed edge of thin metal. It pretty much sliced right though all the skin right down to my shin bone. I looked down as the blood started to pool and I realized how deep it was.. problem? Well, mr. resourceful here just goes and pulls up his tube sock over the wound. This thing is gushing and I'm still doing my laps and my entire sock is now red. I was waaaaay to high to see the school nurse so that's just the way it stayed for the rest of the day. I never got around to getting it stitched up so to this day I have this wierd 'chip' in my left shin.

[deleted] · 1 year

So my buddy got a new washing machine and when we went to hook it up we found that there was a hose ran from the hot water valve to the cold water valve. The knob for the hot water was snapped off, and it was on... so we went off looking for the valve to shut off the hot water or water in general for the house. We couldn't find it anywhere, even went out to the street and tried to find one at the street meter but none there either. So we went back inside and smoked to wait for a brilliant idea to come. Finally, we decided if we turn on all the hot water valves in the house, the water would get cool enough we could easily pull off the hose and quickly screw it onto the back of the washer before too much spilled out.

I'm not sure if you've ever tried to screw a hose with a sealed end onto a faucet when it's running or not... but it's basically impossible... and we probably had dumped 100-150 gallons of water onto the floor before we got ahold of the landlord and found out where the hot water shut off valve was.

1 year

[deleted]

[deleted] · 1 year

Fried my brains like they were eggs in a pan.

perezidentt · 1 year

So did you try to salvage and eat the pizza?

Avengelist · 1 year

Forgot I was on the roof of the garage, walked off. Fell 8 feet down into my mum's roses. She was pissed, but helped me back up on the roof anyway.

U2_is_gay · 1 year

These stories are absolutely baffling to me. Like, I don't know how people can get this messed up off of weed. Does anyone out just smoke and go about their day like normal?

koala93 · 1 year

Awake too long at a weekend rave out in the woods... come Sunday morning, I was convinced I was Jesus, told my GF so, then decided I should probably eat the rest of my LSD - luckily I was lucid enough to listen to her say "that's probably not the best idea" and quickly removed the doses (< 10 seconds in my mouth).

She said I PROBABLY was NOT, in fact, Jesus, and should try to rest. I couldn't get to sleep, but after a few hours of horizontal chilling - felt "less insane".

I thankfully no longer hold the belief I am the offspring of a rather well-known deity.

jigle · 1 year

Bought a $400 drafting table.

koala93 · 1 year

Several months of SEVERE depression and increased tolerance led to eating about 500-1000 2 mG bars worth of powdered Xanax. Was trying to commit suicide and one acquaintance wouldn't loan me his sawed off 30-06, another wouldn't loan me his Glock for the night then called the cops. Cops show up and I went out to greet them with double handled axe. No, hilarity did not ensue.

Got tased, just ripped the probes out, then got beanbagged (missed my nads by like an inch), then did my best impression of Jesse Owens (nod to Blazing Saddles), did a 180 and got another beanbag under my left asscheek. SWAT guy needlessly permanently injured my right arm and elbow while surrendering.

reddittrees2 · 1 year

I always lose my lighter. Par for the course is me losing my lighter somewhere while smoking. I'll hit the blunt, put the lighter down, smoke for a bit, and then not know where the fuck my lighter is. I spend at least 30 seconds freaking out trying to find it, before reasoning that if I just forget about it, calmly sit back down and go about my business, I'll happen upon it. Work's every time.

Ok, so I guess that's not the dumbest thing I've ever done or seen done while high, here's a few more:

We used to smoke on this old bridge in the woods. It was really surreal, reminded me of something out of Myst. The bridge was made of railroad ties, and wound over low marshes and small rivers. It was no more then 6" off the ground. I took a bunch of people who had never been there, and lectured them about not dropping the blunt through the cracks in the bridge. Then I dropped the blunt through one of the cracks. Our team of 4 stoners pulled up one of the ties using a makeshift lever, recovered our downed teammate, and replaced the tie.

We smoked in my friend's basement with this kid we didn't really chill with all that much, he brought a bunch of trees, we got pretty damned high. She had a pool table in her basement so we were shooting some pool, and this kid insisted on having some baby powder for his hands. Eventually he builds up a little pile on the flood near where he's been dusting his hands, and at one point slips on it and falls on his ass. Baby powder makes cement floors pretty darn slippery after all..so we thought it would be a good idea to coat the basement floor in a thin layer of powder and skate around on it. Her mother was not nearly as amused as we were.

Man, it's 2:30AM? I'll add more later if I can remember any. OP, this has the makings of an awesome thread.

Kloster · 1 year

Was so excited for munchies that I left my keys in the car while I ran to Wawa at 4AM.
With bloodshot eyes.

[deleted] · 1 year

Went to make Kraft Dinner. Put the pot on the stove, waited for about 10 minutes, came back out to put the noodles in only to find i hadn't put any water in the pot.
I've lost about 30 Debit cards. I'd get really paranoid when buying candy and such in stores and I think for about 15 of those I just left the store with out getting my debit card back.
I have this friend, we'll call him Larry because his name is Larry. At 16, Larry worked at McDonalds and he was becoming a major stoner. Anyway i guess Larry was already in trouble at work for making paraphernalia (holy shit spelled it right the first time), in fact, so much trouble that his manager had warned him not to do it at work or she'd call the cops. So one night i went to smoke a bowl with larry behind mcdonalds assuming everything was okay. we had to smoke off a pop can which i later found out he made in the bathroom, as it was our fledgling stoner days and we didnt have a pipe. So i load a bunch of pot onto the can and guess who pulls up right to our feet? The fucking cops. Literally the bumper was at my shins. I looked at the cop, dropped the can and took the fuck off. I ran into the bushes and ended up knee deep in a swamp. It was pitch black and i sat in it staying perfectly still as the cops turned on their sirens to try and flush us out of the bushes. I eventually waited till i saw the lights go one way and i bolted the other all the way home. Larry stopped working at mcdonalds that day.
Also with the same friend, Larry. We decided to eat mushrooms and go for a cruise while they kicked in. We were going to be back in about 30 mins and we took the back roads as the odds of encountering people was unlikely. Well we were wrong. Around a blind curve an SUV was being towed out of a ditch and the road was completely blocked. My buddy was going too fast and we ended up turning the truck on its side in the ditch. We were uninjured but by now the shrooms were in full swing and the tires were melting and people's faces looked garbled. We were asked to try and help these other guys get out of the ditch but doing things was so hard as i was being retarded and didnt even bring a jacket in the dead of a Canadian winter nor could i comprehend facial expressions. We managed to get the other guys out of the ditch and they needed to wait for a tow. Eventually a guy who was so fucking old i swear he looked like this pulled up in an old buick and ended up giving my buddy and i a ride home. I spent the rest of the evening staring at his carpet while we waited for his dad to come home so he could scream at us.
Actually getting caught by the cops was fucked though. About 7 of us were all piled into a friend's mom's mini van and we had all gotten super high and he forgot to put his headlights on for the way home. The cops stopped us and thank christ I didn't have I.D on me. They just sent me home. I nearly pissed myself though.
One time i smoked up my friend's brother while his parents were out of town. The kid was about 3 years younger than me, probably 13 or so and we smoke and he fucking greens out and he runs to his parent's bathroom and fills their bathroom sink with puke. Meanwhile i'm on the couch blacking in/out from this amazing weed and he's like "Dude i clogged the sink, it's full of puke". I said this: "Just cover it in tin foil and when your dad gets home and peels it back, act surprised then insist that he did it". ...
My friend worked in a gas bar in our small town and the dimensions of the little building was probably about 20 feet by 10 feet. Basically just a little stall where you go in to pay for your gas and what not. Anyway me and another friend are waiting for him to get off work and we have a good hour. We, for some odd reason decide that we're gonna go hotbox the bathroom. We end up getting way too baked and smoking way too much and we can hear customers complaining about the smell from outside. We leave the bathroom and suddenly this guy walks in who turns out to be the manager comes in and says "You two, get the fuck out!". So we leave and wait for our buddy on a biking trail. We later came back and stole a backpack full of candy.

TLDR:

Forgot to put water in pot when making Kraft Dinner
Lost about 30 debit cards over a 4 year period
Got chased by the cops at mcdonalds
Rolled a Truck on Shrooms
Caught by the Cops for real
"Just cover it in tin foil and when your dad gets home and peels it back, act surprised then insist that he did it". ...
Got stoned in/kicked out of a Gas Bar

bobsaget93 · 1 year

One time, possibly the highest I've ever been, I picked up a bee with a napkin. I held it between my thumb and index finger and studied it while it was squirming.

Right as the thought crossed my mind that I was holding a fucking live bee in my hand, it stung me and i started crying. In a really funny way.

TheGow · 1 year

I made coffee, and when it was done realized that I didn't put anything in the filter.

[deleted] · 1 year

Looked down.

AlteredQ · 1 year

Biked right into traffic.

[deleted] · 1 year

Caused a house fire by leaving a lit ciggerette on the bed and then going to the other room to watch Office...got in almost 15 min before could smell the smoke. Tried putting it out, made it worse...had to call roomate who then called the fire dept. Kept smiling through it all and even cracked jokes about the half empty whisky bottle in the room with some of the firemen.

Stupid, expensive and pointless. Only upside this conversation:

Roomie: Dude, Wassup? Me: Dude the house is on fire! Roomie: Ha ha...You mean the roof? (We had this thing of speaking in song titles) Me: No the whole motherfucking house in on fire!

...pretty sure that is the only time I will ever use that line...at least I hope!

[deleted] · 1 year

I stopped to get directions at a convenience store once, having just smoked a joint in my car, then drove off and got pulled over almost immediately. The cop simply told me to turn my headlights on and to drive safe.

photomike · 1 year

I started talking to some muffins. Awwwww yeeeeeeeeeeee

brian21 · 1 year

Oh, and I regularly lose my phone and freak out, only to find it in my hand. Not as bad as my friend though, who has lit his sleeve on fire twice, for example.

throwaway4business · 1 year

Getting stoned with a friend of mine in highschool, before I had a car, and then telling my grandma I needed a ride to work and my buddy needed a lift home. We had a lot of trouble keeping straight on the drive there.

beccaonice · 1 year

Tried to smoke the joint backwards.

Aadarm · 1 year

With a bunch of friends and drugs decided to take red hot barbed wire and wrap it around my arm from bicept to forearm. Looks pretty cool now but still was a dumb ass thing to do. Was also pretty high during several tats, tongue piercing and other times when being stoned was very unwise.

acupoftea · 1 year

This is late, but I've been so high that went I went to clear my bong I blew out instead of inhaling and proceeded to have bong water squirt everywhere.

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